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The Show that Somehow Makes Sex Boring Is Coming to America

The Show that Somehow Makes Sex Boring Is Coming to America:

Holy hell, have you heard about Sex Box? It’s a new reality show coming to We tv next year and, on the surface, it sounds like the most amazing idea ever. Basically, two people get in a box and have sex. Afterward, they talk about the experience with a panel of experts.

Sounds great, right? Especially the part where we get to watch people fuck! Except we won’t, unfortunately. Don’t let all of the headlines you’re bound to see over the next day or so fool you, this show is going to be unspeakably boring.

It’s actually quite an accomplishment, if you think about it. Making a show where people get in a box and have sex should be impossible to ruin. It’s not, though. See, Sex Box is based on a British show of the same name. As fortune would have it, the first episode of the British version is available in full on YouTube.

We watched it. We regret it.

As inconceivable as it may seem, this is a brutally dull show. You will enjoy watching your parents fuck more than this nonsense. The problem, oddly enough, is the sex in the box. We’re not talking about some sort of clear plastic, David Blaine-type of contraption that’s suspended over Times Square for everyone to see. Quite the opposite, actually. This show shouldn’t be called Sex Box, it should be called Sex Vault. Once the couple in question steps inside that box, all of the “action” stops. You don’t see anything and you barely hear anything. We say “barely” because what you will be treated to while the happy couples copulate is gripping analysis from that aforementioned team of experts.

To put it a lot more plainly, the least interesting thing about Sex Box is the sex box. Honestly, though, what else did you expect? This is the United States, a show like this will not hit the airwaves without there being a huge catch of some sort.

In this case, the catch is that Sex Box is that rare show that somehow manages to make sex boring. If you’re a fan of the Showtime series Masters of Sex but find all of that “watching people bone” stuff to be a little heavy handed, Sex Box is probably the show for you. Beyond that, don’t fall for the hysteria, this show is on We TV for a reason, and it’s not because it’s awesome.

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