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9 Sex Workers Share Their True Feelings About Their Clients

9 Sex Workers Share Their True Feelings About Their Clients: Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

I have only paid for sex one time and I didn’t need an article to tell me what she thought about me. She was there for money plain and simple and would have slept with a stop sign if it had just handed her $200. But for those who are wondering, here are some insights into what former and current sex workers think of their customers.

1. They’re just men with needs

I formed a few close bonds with five or six of them. I learned their stories and really they were just humans with lives, jobs and concerns who wanted to unwind on a Friday night. We often have a tendency as a culture to stereotype people who seek out sexual services as seedy or creepy – and some of them definitely were, but there were many who were neither of those things.

2. You avoid the bad ones

I started working as a professional dominatrix in a NYC dungeon at 19. I want to point out that as a sex worker, we’re not paid for our opinions; in fact, I don’t think we’re supposed to cast any judgment in the slightest sense. I’m usually there to fulfill a fantasy and provide excellent companionship. That being said, I would never take on clients/speak to customers who seemed disrespectful or rude– it’s just not worth it. If someone was a misogynistic, drunk creep, I was out and after being in this scene over and over, you can spot them quickly. Because of this, my regulars were/are amazing, kind (with their hearts and with their wallets), often very funny guys. Some were lonely, some weren’t. They all vary so much.

3. Depends on the person

It varies hugely. Some I like a lot & respect greatly. I’ve met some wonderful people as customers in this industry. Yet there are others I really dislike as people and would never choose to socialize with outside of work hours. I always look for something to like in people. However the moment that I am disrespected by a customer is the moment I’m out. I have no time for customers who choose to denigrate and look down on sex workers while at the same time paying for their services.

4. Sometimes they can be memorable

I was a sex worker entirely to pay for heroin so I have limited memories of my time with it, but this one guy I remember so clearly. I went the Craigslist route and just picked this guy because his email was polite and in proper letter format. He starts telling me what he wants and a bit about himself. “While I was in Iraq I was run over by a tank.” He was apparently living in some long-term care facility and got some kind of pass to go out for the night. A whole long list of surgeries and back fusions and plates and screws. He said he had lost the sensation in his hands but still wanted to hold someone. So I sort of sat in front of him and he played with my chest and the frustration, and gratitude, and entirely macabre nature of the whole situation made it honestly one of the most intimate moments I’ve ever had with another human being. I must’ve met with 100’s of people during that period of my life but he’s the one I remember the most fondly. One of the few times I didn’t walk away hating myself. In a more general answer to this question, as creepy as craigslist sex sounds I didn’t have any bad experiences. Overwhelmingly the guys were polite, showed up on time and paid what I asked. They were grateful just to get that sexual release without judgment or a lot of run around.

5. Question their life choices

All I could think was “you’re pathetic” the entire time. I didn’t do it for drugs or anything, I just wanted cash. These guys were usually married with kids and it was really sad knowing they could throw their life away for ten minutes in a car.

6. Not the happiest bunch

I only took on regulars. They were mostly married men who were hitting/experiencing middle age and felt they were unattractive and inadequate. They were incredibly insecure. In all honesty, I pitied them.

6. They’re mostly just normal guys

Most clients are good people. They’re not trashy d#$%bags who you’d find lurking in street corners and alleyways, but they’re also not this well suited and booted gentleman that you find on shows like Secret Diary of a Call Girl. They’re men. Go outside, have a look at the people out there, those are what clients are like.

7. Individual psychological experiments

Sex is almost like therapy for a lot of clients. In my very personal opinion, these are the best clients purely because the human mind is my obsession and I loved getting inside theirs. These clients would tell me about their life and everything in it. They came to me for companionship, but most importantly (after the sex) I think they came for the escapism.

8. The older, the better

Like any other job, we meet some really lovely people and there are the assholes. I had one guy who wanted to send me $2000 every month so I didn’t have to do what I did. Then I had another guy who sent me really mean, terrible emails after our first & only encounter. I honestly preferred the older men, as they always showed and had respect for themselves and for me.

9. It isn’t all about sex

I saw so many sides to men I didn’t even know existed and much of that was good. Really good actually. I can’t talk for all men of course any more than I can for all women, but I can only talk about what I saw so much of. Lots of men are just as sensitive as women. Some even more. For a lot for guys sex is incredibly personal and about feelings and it’s not just an empty release like I think we all come up expecting. Over and over I saw men who felt lonely because they couldn’t be themselves in their relationships. The pressure to be this kind of cookie cutter kind of man is awful. They can’t express pain or insecurity because it’s not manly.


RELATED: We Asked Sex Shop Workers about Sex

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