As sexual beings, it’s hard for us at Playboy to imagine too many instances in which we’d turn down sex with our partners. But a new survey of 2,000 people has revealed that yes, there are indeed several dealbreakers that can halt a toothsome roll in the hay. Judging by the results, these “dealbreakers” are, at face value, seemingly docile.

For example, the biggest dealbreaker of all, according to almost 40 percent of the sample, is pre-shower oral sex. In other words, four out of 10 people think it’s “never okay to be unclean before oral sex.” I can understand this to some extent—like, if you were just getting home from a weekend camping trip—but is this really a worst-case sexual scenario? Let’s get real.

The second biggest dealbreaker is period sex, as decided by 30 percent of the sample, followed by masturbating in front of their partner, which, again, doesn’t seem that bad. Coming in fourth is watching porn with a partner, as 15 percent believe porn should be regarded as an independent activity (especially women).

In light of the biggest dealbreaker of all (reminder: that’s no oral sex unless you’ve just showered), another study claims it has discovered the reason why so many women aren’t fond of receiving oral sex, which, I’ll admit, is something I’m just now learning in the process of writing this story.

According to a study in the Journal of Sex Research, the real reason women don’t want oral sex is because they don’t want to have to reciprocate. The study found that men would actually enjoy performing oral sex on their partners more often, but that women think their only reason for doing so is so that they get more fellatio in return.

Researchers found that women in mixed-sex relationships engage in oral sex less and that they are less likely to want more of it, too. (Maybe it’s because guys are notoriously bad at garnering a female orgasm?). They also found that women don’t rate giving men oral sex as “highly satisfying,” despite it being far more common.

Another study published in the Journal of Sex Research peered into the sexual opinions of young heterosexual males and females ages 16 to 18. They recorded that young men generally use negative language to describe women’s genitals versus how women describe male genitalia. Because of negative associations, young women were then found to be more ambivalent than men in terms of receiving oral sex. Pretty brutal, right? It only gets worse. Participants also said it was “easier” for men to receive oral sex than women, as if sex has a difficulty setting.

That study’s researchers couldn’t have summed it up any better: “It’s clear that we also need to be encouraging young people to think critically about how women’s and men’s bodies are talked about in society, the nuances of consent and coercion, and how gender equity might be negotiated in practice.” To that I’d like to add that unless things are notably sweaty down there, get over yourself. Provided this is a trusted partner and not a complete stranger who may or may not carry something contagious, oral sex shouldn’t be a hang-up in your relationship.