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The 11 Smoothest Date Moves Ever Seen

The 11 Smoothest Date Moves Ever Seen: Apatow Productions

Apatow Productions

I’m not generally smooth on a first date. I’m smooth in getting the date perhaps, but then the actual date comes and I just drink too much and hope she’s into that. I could take a lesson or two from the folks in the stories below who were caught by bystanders executing some pretty slick stuff.


1. OLD MAN’S GOT SOME MOVES

I saw an old man and woman coming up to a big glass door at the mall. He flipped his cane in his hand, looped the door and pulled it open. They walked through it without even slowing down. It was like the coolest Cialis commercial ever.

2. CAN’T TELL IF THIS WAS PLANNED

Was getting some air outside a bar when a couple walks out (looked like a first or second date - no hand holding, both dressed up for a pub) and the guy trips on a missing brick in the walkway and falls onto his hands and knees. The girl says, “Oh my god,” and helps him up and asks, “Are you ok?” And the guy says after a half-beat, “That’s the second time I’ve fallen for something tonight.” That girl’s smile could have re-lit the sun.

3. TWIST ENDING: THEY HADN’T PLANNED IT

I was at a theme park, waiting on my friends and watching a couple get their caricatures drawn by an artist, over the artist’s shoulder from somewhat afar. As I’m sure most of you are aware, the couple couldn’t see what was being drawn, they were just sitting there, chatting, waiting for the artist to finish. As I’m watching the guy draw, I can see that he is drawing the guy kneeling beside her, holding a big diamond ring…he was drawing a proposal! When he was done, he asked the couple to come over to check out the drawing, and the girl got up to check it out. She looked kind of confused at first, until she looked over at her boyfriend, who was ready, on his knee, with the ring out. She was 10000% surprised. She said yes, and they looked deliriously happy.

4. ALWAYS KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN

I was at a club in college and saw this dude and girl making out on the dance floor. They were on the edge of the dance floor, right next to the walkway towards the stairs. There was this other girl right behind the couple trying to light a smoke, but her lighter wasn’t working. So without interrupting his make-out session, this dude whips a lighter out of his pocket, lights this girl’s smoke, winks at her and continues sucking face.

5. ALWAYS BE NICE TO CHILDREN, APPARENTLY

I once had a date with a girl from a different city, and since we hadn’t met face to face before we decided to meet up at the service desk of the train-station in her city. As soon as I got out of the train, there was a crying little kid standing on the platform with no parent in sight. So I walked up to the little kid, asked him where his parents were. Between all the tears and hiccups it became clear that he lost daddy. So I walked with him all over the platform looking for his father for a few minutes, but no luck. I figured I’d drop him of at the service desk where they could make an announcement throughout the whole train-station. There were two things waiting for me: A panicked dad who had the same idea as me, and my date who I had agreed to meet there. Witnessing the events, she was rather pleased. It probably wasn’t the only reason she took me home with her at the end of the date, but it couldn’t have hurt either.

6. HE WHO DEALT IT GETS LAID, I GUESS

I once was on a double date with a girl I had just started seeing and a couple friends of mine. About halfway through the date I jokingly poked my dates side, which in turn caused her to laugh suddenly. The mix of the surprise and the laugh ended up with her letting out a quick but loud fart. Without missing a beat, I turned and faced my friends and said, “Safety.” To which they both started laughing hysterically and called me disgusting. No one else besides her and I know the truth of who actually farted.

7. HAD SHE NOT HEARD THIS A MILLION TIMES BEFORE?

A friend and I were walking down stairs at school, suddenly a girl going the opposite direction trips, and while I was busy exiting the perfect pivot maneuver to dodge out of the way as she fell towards me, my buddy stuck out his arms and caught her, then said “Did you fall from heaven?” They had sex.

8. SOUNDS LIKE A CONTROL FREAK TO ME

My high school boyfriend and I were at a restaurant and I got a dish that came with steamed broccoli, which I don’t care for, but as a shy 16-year-old, I still felt weird about special ordering at a restaurant. When my dish came, it instead had a side of carrots, which is my favorite vegetable ever. Apparently, my bf had asked the waiter to substitute it in for the broccoli without me knowing. It was a small move but really sweet, and I was also really surprised that he’d paid enough attention to me to know what vegetables I liked and didn’t.

9. THIS IS A PRETTY LOW BAR

I made a reservation at a restaurant. I hadn’t told my date where we were going, just to meet outside a certain metro station. We’re walking and I ask her ,“Hey wanna go to this place?” We get in and there’s a gigantic line up of people. The hostess says sorry it’s going to be another 20 minutes. My date starts saying we can just go elsewhere when I say well actually I’ve got a reservation for 7 and it was like six fifty-something. She was impressed.

10. THIS IS WHY PEPPERONI IS THE BEST PIZZA TOPPING

My girlfriend and I sat near a couple at California Pizza Kitchen who looked like they were on a first date. The guy bought himself and his date both two full sized large pizzas, a cheese for his date and a pepperoni for himself. My girlfriend and I could tell the date was somewhat awkward because there wasn’t much talking. About 10 minutes into eating their pizzas, the guy with his pepperoni pizza told his date, “You know why I got pepperoni pizza?” She asked him why and he said he replied, “Because I was pepperlonely before I came to pick you up and was hoping you’d keep me company tonight.” To our astonishment (because the line was so…cheesy. BOOM!), she was very receptive to the line and the entire mood of the date picked up. What looked to be a risky move by pepperoni guy seemed to have paid off.

11. THIS IS WHY YOU PRACTICE YOUR REFLEXES

Watched a guy and his girl cross a street and suddenly her heel of her stiletto just straight skidded out from under her foot on some ice. It was like watching a dance in slow motion of her falling, he scooped her up like nothing and the momentum swirled them a little and the slope of the road he slowly just slid to the sidewalk where a bus bench was and gently sat her down before crouching in front of her to make sure she was okay. It all happened in maybe 4 seconds. Had it been any more magical of a sight, Disney On Ice would have staged it. A couple of people behind me applauded and hooted at him and he just kind of smiled. That moment alone could have turned me gay.


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