We’ve already established that shower sex is dangerous. This time around, we’re here to safeguard another popular position: standing sex.

Personally, I’m not a fan. In my experience, standing sex robs intercourse of its romantic simplicity and offers little benefit. But who knows, maybe I’m doing it wrong. Variety is the spice of life after all, so let’s not strike vertical sex off our list completely. Not yet at least. Instead, let’s first look at some facts, consult an expert, and ultimately decide whether sex while standing is worth the trouble.

“Standing sex can be challenging for even the most athletic of partners,” Katy Zvolerin, clinical sexologist and director of public relations at adult toy shop adameve.com, tells Playboy. “While it can definitely be awkward, the position can be fun and rewarding too.” Zvolerin asserts standing sex shouldn’t be considered dangerous, but acknowledges that, compared to traditional sex, it’s certainly more difficult. Your legs will quake, just you wait.

Those with joint or muscular issues will want to avoid standing positions or engage for a limited time to avoid unnecessary strain, because, boy, does it happen. “Maintaining balance can be tricky, so I would encourage one partner provide stability by holding onto a wall or countertop,” she adds. Stable furniture, handrails and nearby walls are also helpful substitutes for maintaining balance.

For added safety, Zvolerin recommends you stand on an area with a stable surface to avoid slips and falls, which are way embarrassing when you’re inside someone. She suggests before engaging, you strategically choose a spot near the bedroom as you’ll both probably end up there anyway (trust us, your shrieking muscles will thank you). By selecting a nearby location, you won’t have to delay further play, just hop back to it.

For less complication, use lube so entry and penetration is less resistant. “Don’t push yourself beyond your comfort zone either,” Zvolerin cautions, attesting shaky knees post-sex is fine, but soreness, strain or pain means you’ve pushed yourself too far. If you do feel some soreness following standing sex but enjoyed yourself, all hope is not lost. You can try these positions in a pool, as this will take pressure off of your joints. Or you can try a sex swing. Other than that though, there are very few products available to make vertical sex more comfortable, unfortunately.

If you’re keen to give standing sex the good old college try, here are some safe and easy positions to get you started.


Countertop Coitis: With your partner positioned on a countertop and you standing in front of her, place her legs on your shoulders (this allows for deep penetration and g-spot stimulation), enter, and play with angles to find which offers the most pleasure.

The Three-Legged Man: Your partner will stand facing you with their feet firmly planted on the ground. She must then lift one leg and wrap it around your hip. Here, she can use her elevated leg to guide the depth of penetration and grind her hips. If your partner’s elevated leg gets tired at some point, grab a nearby chair for her to rest her foot on.

Right Angle: Standing behind your partner, grab her hands behind her back so she can bend forward at a 90-degree angle. The position uses your weight to counterbalance hers and is fantastic for deep penetration, though it’s not for newbies.

X Marks The Spot: Similar to countertop coitis, have your partner lay down on a countertop or waist-level surface. Lift their legs to make a 90-degree angle and rest them on your shoulders. For a tighter fit, ask that she cross her legs to create an “X.”

The Vertical Spoon: Good for cramped spaces, this position is, as the name suggests, the standing spooning position. With your partner leaned face-first against a wall, enter from behind and grind into her. The closer she brings her legs, the tighter the sensation.


Now back to our original query: Is standing sex worth the trouble? Well, according to Zvolerin’s testimony it certainly can be, but that’s far too ambiguous an answer for me, so I brought this query to the people of Twitter and the answer couldn’t have been more certain. The sample voted unanimously: Standing sex is not worth the associated risks and discomfort. Not one vote swayed. Ultimately though, this decision is up to you. Sex is sex, after all, and whether it’s upright, on your back, in a car, or in your childhood bedroom during the holidays, it’s still going to be hot.