Part 4 of Playboy.com’s exhaustive ranking of every Star Trek episode ever made. This time, from The Original Series’ “The Omega Glory” to Deep Space Nine’s “Empok Nor.”
400) “The Omega Glory,” The Original Series, Season 2
You didn’t hallucinate this. One night you were up late and caught an old episode of Star Trek where Captain Kirk reads a beat-up copy of the Constitution.
399) “Carpenter Street,” Enterprise, Season 3
Crewman Daniels sends Archer and T'Pol back to the future, to figure out what Xindi are doing in early 21st Century Detroit! (So that explains the bankruptcy problem.)
398) “The Breach,” Enterprise, Season 2
The gang needs to rescue Denobulan scientists in a cave (a space cave!) and Dr. Phlox tries to save an Antaran who refuses his treatment for prejudicial reasons.
397) “Shadows of P'Jem,” Enterprise, Season 1
Turns out the Vulcans still be real whiney jerks sometimes, like demanding T'Pol to leave the crew. But maybe they’ll realize that only the Terrans can help them bring detente with the Andorians?
396) “Before And After,” Voyager, Season 3
Kes tries to extend her Ocampan lifespan, ends up phasing in and out of the timeline (and into ugly makeup!) We see a possible future with a Captain Chakotay. How horrible!
395) “Day of Honor,” Voyager, Season 4
B'Elanna and Tom Paris admit feelings for one another and finally kiss, though they are in space suits and their oxygen is running low.
394) “Who Mourns for Adonais?” The Original Series, Season 2
393) “For The Cause,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
Sisko’s girlfriend is a Maquis smuggler?!? Garak in an inappropriate sauna situation with Dukat’s daughter? Oy!
392) “Armageddon Game,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
Chief O'Brien and Dr. Bashir help warring races dispose of their high-tech weapons — but the aliens are so committed to peace they’ve decided they now must kill Federation visitors just in case they decide to apply what they’ve learned. Not nice!
391) “Shadowplay,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
Odo and Dax fight for hologram rights! A nice bit of foreshadowing for Voyager. Also: Kira and Vedek Bareil get all kissy-face.
390) “That Which Survives,” The Original Series, Season 3
A deserted planet left their security system on. And she is a badass chick with an itchy trigger finger.
389) “Heart of Glory,” The Next Generation, Season 1
It took late into the first season until we got our first Worf-focused episode. That the mighty Son of Mogh would eventually be the character to appear in the most episodes in the franchise shows that the producers, at first, didn’t realize the ridged forehead of awesomeness they had in their midst.
388) “Cost of Living,” The Next Generation, Season 5
I agree with sticking Alexander with Lwaxana — but the idea is to get them off screen and not film them!
387) “The Time Trap,” The Animated Series, Season 1
A Bermuda triangle in space where a calm peace has broken out — until the Enterprise and Klingons get there.
386) “Dagger of the Mind,” The Original Series, Season 1
A Federation doctor is doing mind control experiments at a penal colony, and Kirk is going to be the one who stops it. Lots of Shatner making pained faces in this one.
385) “Plato’s Stepchildren,” The Original Series, Season 3
384) “Profit and Loss,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
A Ferengi Casablanca with Quark as Rick. Also, this episode marks Garak gliding into his true role as the best supporting player in the entire franchise.
383) “The Abandoned,” Deep Space Nine, Season 3
Just when we thought we had a true evil we could hiss at — the Jem'Hadar — there’s a baby in a basket left at the station. Odo, interestingly enough, is the one who tries to raise him.
382) “Scientific Method,” Voyager, Season 4
Do you ever get the feeling that invisible aliens are conducting medical experiments on you? This one ought to grant you some validation.
381) “Demons,” Enterprise, Season 4
Before Peter Weller was a jerk in Into Darkness he was a jerk here, hating aliens and promoting isolationism. How could you be isolationist when T'Pol and Trip are gonna have a child? Those genes are incredible!
380) “Blood Fever,” Voyager, Season 3
The Vulcan mating season gets complicated when it triggers B'Ellana’s animalistic Klingon response. Thank God for the Holodeck and towels.
379) “The Void,” Voyager, Season 7
A Bermuda triangle (again) sucks in ships and the noobs are immediately plundered by older ships trying to survive. Will Janeway’s crew turn savage or build an alliance? What do you think?
378) “Singularity,” Enterprise, Season 2
A fun take at the “typical day” type episode. The implication here is that Malcolm’s “Reed Alert” is the father of the “Red Alert,” which I refuse to accept.
377) “Hatchery,” Enterprise, Season 3
The gang finds a bunch of Xindi-Reptilian eggs. What to do? Well, while having your ethical debate, be sure not to get zapped with any amniotic fluid, I’ll tell you that much.
376) “Indiscretion,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
If you were looking for the one where Gul Dukat rubs his tush with a tissue regenerator, this is it.
375) “Take Me Out To The Holosuite,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
374) “Honor Among Thieves,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
O'Brien as Donnie Brasco among Orion traders and other nefarious folk. Neat to see this side of the Galaxy, but the story is predictable.
373) “A Private Little War,” The Original Series, Season 2
Vietnam parable with no clear victory. The best we can do is increase the arms race, hope mutual assured destruction prevents total war and eventually, maybe, enlightenment will win out over totalitarianism. A downer, maybe, but also features the Mugato, which is a plus.
372) “Carbon Creek,” Enterprise, Season 1
A nice twist on DS9’s “Little Green Men.” Turns out T'Pol’s grandmother and three others made First Contact on Earth in the 1950s. That is, if her story ain’t a fib.
371) “Observer Effect,” Enterprise, Season 4
The recurring question of whether interfering with the “natural order of things” is right when it can save lives. This time, however, it’s our crew that needs some help, so that may change things! Bonus points for a guest appearance of Organians!
370) “Friday’s Child,” The Original Series, Season 2
“Only Mack-Coy!” Factions on a planet are at each other’s throats, but a pregnant woman (who really digs Bones) means stepping in to set things straight. Scotty’s back on the ship running things, which I imagine is always a delight for the remaining crew.
369) “Stigma,” Enterprise, Season 2
T'Pol and Dr. Phlox must keep her post-mind meld disease a secret. Also, one of Phlox’s wives wants to get busy with Trip, with everyone’s consent. Social contrast!
368) “I, Mudd,” The Original Series, Season 2
Harcourt Fenton Mudd has trapped the crew and wants the Enterprise. But his android harem is about to get destroyed by logic. How do you like that, laddybuck?
367) “The Icarus Factor,” The Next Generation, Season 2
366) “Schisms,” The Next Generation, Season 6
Subspace wormholes really do a number on your beauty sleep.
365) “Heart of Stone,” Deep Space Nine, Season 3
Kira is trapped with an expanding rock formation (naturally) and Nog wants to be the first Ferengi in Starfleet. Somehow, the two stories work in counterpoint.
364) “Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
Kira learns about her mother and Dukat. She’ll need to shower for a week.
363) “Tin Man,” The Next Generation, Season 3
A giant sentient spaceship needs our help. Why do the Troi episodes have to be so earnest? This is a fan favorite but sometimes the fans are wrong.
362) “Where Silence Has Lease,” The Next Generation, Season 2
The Enterprise is toyed with by a superior force. This sort of thing happens a lot.
361) “This Side of Paradise,” The Original Series, Season 1
Spores blast Spock with happy dust, make him fall in love. He eventually “overcomes” (not that it was so terrible) and concludes with the most slyly funny line in TOS. As his love is leaving, and the touching music is gushing on the soundtrack, she asks if Spock has another name. Tenderly, and drying her tears, Spock replies “you couldn’t pronounce it.”
360) “The Chute,” Voyager, Season 3
Odd episode where Paris and Kim get stuck in a floating prison (featuring a not-so super fun happy slide).
359) “Tuvix,” Voyager, Season 2
358) “One,” Voyager, Season 4
Janeway needs that shortcut, even if there’s a dangerous nebula. She plows through, putting everyone in stasis except for Seven of Nine who, naturally, starts to go bonkers.
357) “Memorial,” Voyager, Season 6
An atrocity memorial imprints its tragedy on visitors, causing Chakotay and an away team to go into a deep, guilt-ridden funk. Not a good place for a picnic!
356) “Projections,” Voyager, Season 2
The Doctor is activated and informed he isn’t who he thinks he is, but is actually Dr. Lewis Zimmerman, the creator of the EMH program. As we’re seeing it from the Doctor’s POV it’s impossible to know who is correct.
355) “The Terratin Incident,” The Animated Series, Season 1
A beam of some sort makes everyone shrink. The crew uses their marbles to figure out how to run the ship when they’re the size of cheetos.
354) “Shattered, Voyager, Season 7
A much smarter version of a “clips episode.” Chakotay is unstuck in time and zips around the ship’s past, present and future to try and make things right.
353) “Cardassians,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
DS9 is all about realistic repercussions of sweeping political actions. So if the Cardassians are exiting Bajor, what about the children left behind? Shades of gray, I tell you!
352) “Requiem For Methuselah,” The Original Series, Season 3
While looking for the antidote to a disease, the crew meet this crazy old bugger who turns out to have been many of Earth’s greatest heroes and artists. When Kirk has his heart broken Spock uses his Vulcan powers to wipe the captain’s memories, without really asking. Is that cool?
351) “Harbinger,” Enterprise, Season 3
Reed and the MACOs nip at each other in a power struggle. That’s the A-story. But really, this is all about Trip and T'Pol getting NAKED NUDE NAKED JOLENE BLALOCK NUDE JPGS BENGHAZI NUDE BLALOCK NAKED together.
350) “Our Man Bashir,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
DS9 goes 007. Dr. Bashir looks good in a tux but this Holosuite episode is silly at best.
349) “Once More Into The Breach,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
Q'aplah, Dahar Master. Kor wants to go out swingin’.
348) “Penumbra,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
The first move in the series’ endgame. Sisko and Kasidy are going to get married, which is nice. And Worf is finally being pleasant to Ezri. Also nice.
347) “Collective,” Voyager, Season 6
While negotiating with a damaged (but still deadly) Borg Cube, Seven of Nine discovers that it is being run by children. Can she talk sense into them?
346) “Inheritance,” The Next Generation, Season 7
We already did a Data’s father bit? Okay, here’s Data’s mother.
345) “The Omega Directive,” Voyager, Season 4
Message from home sends Janeway on an important, dangerous and secret mission to hunt Omega Particles, even if it means monkeying a bit with the Prime Directive. Seven of Nine has a psychedelic experience looking at molecules. Unusual and dark epsiode.
344) “One Small Step,” Voyager, Season 6
A space anomaly presents a long lost part of Voyager’s past (but our future) so they risk life and limb for the sake of history.
343) “Cold Front,” Enterprise, Season 1
Get your paranoia shields up. Among a group of happy stargazers is, in fact, a Suliban in disguise, working toward a nefarious end and kicking off the Temporal Cold War.
342) “Doctor’s Orders,” Enterprise, Season 3
A section of the Delphic Expanse is so treacherous that Dr. Phlox has to sedate everyone and ride through it solo. He then has hallucinations, as is common to those who they ride on the ship alone. We know this because each series does this episode.
341) “Legacy,” The Next Generation, Season 4
Lt. Yar’s sister appears in what was the series’ best pre-Seven of Nine catsuit.
340) “For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky,” The Original Series, Season 3
339) “The Ensigns of Command,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Whether or not DS9’s Bajor is a giant metaphor for Israel is debatable. But this episode, with its “make the deserts bloom” storyline, is not.
338) “Man of the People,” The Next Generation, Season 6
Rule of thumb — visiting diplomats are usually evil. I live in New York, so I know this to be true.
337) “The Collaborator,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
The Marshal Pétain of Bajor wants to come home. And if it means destroying that nice boy Vedek Bareil to do so, so be it.
336) “The Tholian Web,” The Original Series, Season 3
I love the space suits in this one. What the hell are they wearing? Bones’ antagonism to Spock is a little over the line here, but he can take it. Anyway, the effects of the titular web looked great for back then. The remastered version can’t hold a candle.
335) “Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
Dr. Bashir takes on Section 31 in the heart of the Romulan Star Empire. An episode with that much Latin in the title means it’s going to be heavy.
334) “Return to Grace,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
Dukat and Kira join forces — temporarily — to chase down some Klingons. And he hits on her, which is so so gross, considering.
333) “The Pirates of Orion,” The Animated Series, Season 2
Spock’s physiology is usually a great boon, but this time it makes him contract a disease. To get the cure, we’ve got to bargain with Orion traders. And fast!
332) “Allegiance,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Picard is kidnapped, replaced with a doppelganger. We know because he’s all merry in Ten-Forward. Our captain is kind, not fun. There’s a difference.
331) “Lessons,” The Next Generation, Season 6
Is there room for love in the Captain’s seat? No, we’ve already established that. But good to see him try once in a while. Some genuinely moving scenes in this one.
330) “The Andorian Incident,” Enterprise, Season 1
Our first look at the Vulcan-Andorian conflict. Enterprise made us look at Vulcans much differently. It was a break from what was established, but who is to say that these wise-seeming beings didn’t have their own recent advances?
329) “Rajiin,” Enterprise, Season 3
Archer runs afoul of an Interstellar Hottie, a would-be damsel actually spying for the Xindi. Don’t trust anyone in the Expanse, no matter how saucy!
328) “Bread and Circuses,” The Original Series, Season 2
Some planets are like reproductions of Earth’s past. But this one is half that (ancient Rome) mixed with the present. So 1960s style live TV broadcasts of gladiator fights are part of the program.
327) “Chimera,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
Finally, at almost the end of the series, Odo finds someone else he can relate to — another castaway Founder. Conversations about ethics ensue.
326) “Force of Nature,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Blaze by the same region of space at warp speed and it’s gonna ruin the pavement. Makes sense.
325) “Booby Trap,” The Next Generation, Season 3
A deadly race against the clock, so LaForge heads to the Holodeck and falls in love with a simulation. Who knows how any of us would react in such circumstances?!
324) “The Begotten,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5
A baby O'Brien is born. Thanks for the rental, Kira! Alas, Odo’s petri dish Founder doesn’t make it.
323) “Patterns of Force,” The Original Series, Season 2
322) “The Augments,” Enterprise, Season 4
Pound for pound, this Enterprise episode has the greatest amount of deep-cut fan-wank of anything in the entire franchise. That’s gotta count for something.
321) “Similitude,” Enterprise, Season 3
Trip Tucker will die unless Dr. Phlox creates a clone that can harvest some cells. This “child” will live its full life cycle in only fifteen days. Is it right to do this? Get me a Space Rabbi on the phone, stat!
320) “The Siege of AR-558,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
The bleakest episode in the whole series? Nog loses a leg in battle! Nog! We saw him as a kid shilling self-sealing stem bolts — now he’s getting his leg blown off.
319) “In The Hands of the Prophets,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
So we’re out here trying to help the Bajorans, persecuted for their beliefs, but hardliners are at odds with the freethinking Federation. And it’s going to turn to violence. Season 1 concluded with a warning shot across the bow: this show was going to get into some realpolitik likes we haven’t seen on Star Trek before.
318) “Descent,” The Next Generation, Season 6-7
By this stage in the game an end-of-season cliffhanger was expected. This overly complex one doesn’t quite gel, and Data’s emotion chip is, let’s face it, kinda annoying.
317) “The Enemy,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Let Worf be Worf! The Mighty Son of Mogh will not give blood to the Romulans unless ordered. Moral complications ensue. Plus, space storms.
316) “Renaissance Man,” Voyager, Season 7
Janeway is kidnapped so the Doctor has to pretend to be other people to negotiate her return. Not quite sure it makes sense but Robert Picardo is quite fun in this one.
315) “The Forgotten,” Enterprise, Season 3
Archer tries to reason with the non-Reptilian Xindi, and convince them that they’re all being played by outside forces. Not bad, but here’s where we really coulda used a Picard.
314) “Caretaker,” Voyager, Season 1
313) “Impulse,” Enterprise, Season 3
There were hints that the phase-shifting phenomena of the Delphic Expanse could make you loopy, and now we see it. You want Zombie Vulcans, you got Zombie Vulcans. Too much fun to wave off.
312) “First Flight,” Enterprise, Season 2
Can a prequel have a prequel? This episode says yes, as Archer tells T'Pol all about his early days trying to break the Warp 2 barrier. Has a nice The Right Stuff-on-a-shoestring vibe.
311) “Drive,” Voyager, Season 7
A fun spin of an episode involving a chariot race. Even though terrorists are involved, the stakes remain light. Also: Tom and B'Elanna get married. Mazel tov!
310) “Attached,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Picard and Dr. Crusher get a gewgaw attached and now they read each other’s thoughts. Hot.
309) “Body and Soul,” Voyager, Season 7
Thanks to jerks who hate “photonics,” The Doctor must hide inside Seven of Nine’s implants. (Her Borg implants. Geez.) Anyway, this is like the movie All of Me but in space.
308) “You Are Cordially Invited,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
Is the middle of a war a good time to get married? No, it is the best time to get married. Congrats, Jadzia and Worf, you both look lovely!
307) “Progress,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
Major Kira has to deal with settlers in a contested Bajoran region, Jake and Nog have to deal with Yamok sauce and self-sealing stem bolts. This Season 1 episode started to sink its teeth into the characters.
306) “The Shipment,” Enterprise, Season 3
Archer tracks down where the terrible Xindi weapons are manufactured. They can destroy it or they can make allies with the Xindi-Sloth underclass forced to work for the other Xindis. Should Archer unleash the MACOs or should he make build toward a long-term strategy?
305) “Strange New World,” Enterprise, Season 1
Galileo Seven meets This Side of Paradise when marooned members of the crew get loopy from airborne spores. But this time it makes the humans nasty. An essential early episode to get the anti-Vulcan grievances out in front of T'Pol.
304) “The Homecoming,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
Bajoran extremists and political strife. DS9’s second season starts off complex.
303) “Transfigurations,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Another look at evolving past humanoid form. But before that can happen, the dude’s gotta wear the tightest, whitest spandex unitard imaginable. I don’t know how this was allowed on television.
302) “For The Uniform,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5
Sisko puts an end to Eddington and the Maquis storyline. The Maquis, born out of the end of TNG and inspiring the beginning of Voyager, is truly the crux of the extra-Roddenberry vision. You either love it or you hate it.
301) “Empok Nor,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5