Part 2 of Playboy.com’s exhaustive ranking of every Star Trek episode ever made. This time, from Voyager’s “Nemesis” to The Next Generation’s “The Most Toys.”
600) “Nemesis,” Voyager, Season 4
Chakotay crash lands on a planet and ends up fighting with some partisans.
599) “The Reckoning,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
High Noon on the Promenade, with Kai Winn and the myth of Abraham and Isaac. Too much going on in this one.
598) “The Outrageous Okona,” The Next Generation, Season 2
597) “Riddles,” Voyager, Season 6
Tuvok goes Regarding Henry.
596) “Investigations,” Voyager, Season 2
Tom Paris is sent off as a double agent, but that’s on a need-to-know basis. More importantly, Neelix now has a cooking show.
595) “The Raven,” Voyager, Season 4
Seven of Nine is called back to a destroyed ship that turns out to be where she was initially captured by the Borg as a child. Essential for filling out her backstory, but not very energetic.
594) “The Bonding,” The Next Generation, Season 3
A flimsy episode but wins points for showing a realistic response to the death of a Redshirt.
593) “Interface,” The Next Generation, Season 7
LaForge is a great supporting character. When he’s the sole focus, it’s hit or miss. Him using the power of his VISOR to hunt for his lost mother is a good example of the latter.
592) “Q Less,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
Ya got Q, ya got Vash … but ya still got a dumb episode. This was all part of Season 1’s weaning from TNG. “I’m not Picard!” barks Sisko in a great moment.
591) “Shuttlepod One,” Enterprise, Season 1
590) “Life Support,” Deep Space Nine, Season 3
Vedek Bareil, you just weren’t made for this world. Major Kira is too good of a character to have her emotions tied-up with a drip like you.
589) “Breaking the Ice,” Enterprise, Season 1
Archer discovers T'Pol is in touch with the Vulcans. Not quite spying, but not quite being loyal either. Many discussions are had. This episode feels a bit like a second pilot, made to let people catch up. (Also, people drill ice, so the title works two ways.)
587) “Time’s Orphan,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
Good idea, poor execution. Young Molly O'Brien falls into some sort of time warp and is raised by a space bear. Reintegrating her back to her parents doesn’t go so easy.
586) “Vortex,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
Odo’s desire to learn more about his origins is fertile soil for a shyster. Bonus: a tour of a Toh-maire gas nebula.
585) “Identity Crisis,” The Next Generation, Season 4
LaForge become a blue glowing alien, because everyone on the away mission from years ago did, too. How did no one see this coming?
584) “Suddenly Human,” The Next Generation, Season 4
Snatch a child from the only parents he knows, just because they are Terran enemies? Methinks we’re about to stumble into some life lessons.
583) “Prophecy,” Voyager, Season 7
All B'Elanna wants is for her half-Klingon heritage to not be a big deal. Turns out she might be some kind of Messiah. Girl can’t get a break.
582) “Phage,” Voyager, Season 1
580) “Playing God,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
Dramatically, not a great episode, but in terms of weird sci-fi, a proto-universe floating in space seaweed is pretty cool. Additionally, a deeper look into how Trill hosts are groomed.
579) “A Simple Investigation,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5
This was a season one-style episode that somehow crept into season five. Not that memorable.
578) “Sanctuary,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
The station becomes Space Ellis Island as refugees want to settle on Bajor. You’d think Bajor would be welcoming to an oppressed people, but things are never quite that easy.
577) “The Vengeance Factor,” The Next Generation, Season 3
The big shootout climax takes place on a jungle gym, so I dunno about this one.
576) “When The Bough Breaks,” The Next Generation, Season 1
Wesley and other young ‘uns are kidnapped. Strangely the ship doesn’t take advantage and run away at Warp Factor 8. (I kid, I kid.)
575) “Extinction,” Enterprise, Season 3
Entering the Delphic Expanse was a much needed shot in the arm for Enterprise. This was its first misstep. A retread of a better TNG episode (“Genesis”) this one just proves that devolving just makes everyone a terrible actor.
574) “The Loss,” The Next Generation, Season 4
Troi loses her half-Betazoid powers and thus loses her mind.
573) “Unnatural Selection,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Eugenics, rapid aging, other interesting topics. But what sticks in your memory is Dr. Pulaski hobbling around in Methuselah makeup. Eegads.
572) “Hero Worship,” The Next Generation, Season 5
A young boy becomes very fond of Data. Zzzz.
571) “Initiations,” Voyager, Season 2
Hey, the kid who played Nog is now a Kazon-Ogla who has to kill Chakotay as some sort of ritual. He doesn’t actually do this, nor does he succeed in making the derivative and bland Kazon into an interesting villain, but I like the kid who played Nog.
570) “11:59,” Voyager, Season 5
Janeway reflects on the explorers of her family’s past, including the architect of the “Millennium Gate” and the 20th Century struggles it took to build it.
569) “Bar Association,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
Rom and Leeta use collective bargaining tactics against Quark. I abstain from voting.
568) “Babel,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
Mass aphasia on the station, which is dealing with some hangover Cardassian sabotage. Season 1 of DS9 was all about reminding you that this is a grittier place – the Millennium Falcon, not the Enterprise.
567) “A Matter of Perspective,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Trek goes full Rashamon on the Holodeck. Pass.
566) “The Sound of Her Voice,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
The Defiant chats with a stranded captain, but time dilation is really in charge here. A TNG retread on DS9 but still a neat idea.
565) “Real Life,” Voyager, Season 3
564) “Pen Pals,” The Next Generation, Season 2
A Talmudic discussion into the ethics of the Prime Directive. Kirk woulda blasted first and stroked his beard second!
563) “The Schizoid Man,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Cheating death by brain dumping into Data? Not gonna’ work out, Guest Villain!
562) “Liasons,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Tell us more, Earther, about this “love.”
561) “The Foresaken,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
Odo and Lwaxana get stuck in a turbolift. Pretty sure Rene Auberjonois knew the sitcom drill from his time on Benson. But when he melts in Lwaxana’s dress to regenerate, it is oddly touching.
560) “Bliss,” Voyager, Season 5
It’s a way home! No, it’s an intergalactic pitcher plant. And only Seven of Nine (and little Naomi Wildman!?!?) are smart enough to realize it. Someone needs to talk sense to this crew.
559) “Death Wish,” Voyager, Season 2
Hey, it’s Q! And Janeway isn’t down on her knees begging him to snap his fingers and send them home? Instead she’s arguing about the right-to-die in a mock trial. Sometimes Janeway misses the point.
558) “In Theory,” The Next Generation, Season 4
Data gets a girlfriend. Why would anyone expect this to work?
557) “Dark Page,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Who was watching Star Trek thinking, “Yeah, what we need is backstory on Mr. Homn…”?
556) “Destiny,” Deep Space Nine, Season 3
Are they prophets or wormhole aliens? Is it science or religion? DS9 offers no easy answers.
555) “The Eye of the Beholder,” The Animated Series, Season 1
554) “Battle Lines,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
Sisko is going to get a planet to act peacefully even if he has to kill them to do it!
553) “Prime Factors,” Voyager, Season 1
The denizens of a pleasure planet may be able to get the crew home. They don’t, obviously, but not for reasons you think. This episode was important early on to show that some Voyager crew members, especially the Maquis, weren’t so quick to automatically love Janeway and her decisions.
552) “Symbiosis,” The Next Generation, Season 1
Opium Wars Analogy in Spaaaaace!
551) “Prototype,” Voyager, Season 2
B'Elanna brings an old robot back to “life.” But his programming isn’t exactly benign. What’s a tech-head who respects the Prime Directive to do?
550) “Crossfire,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
In the middle of the run-up to the Dominion War, a pause to focus on how Odo loves Kira, and Kira doesn’t notice. Zzzz.
549) “Emissary,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
548) “The Alternate,” Deep Space Nine, Season 2
There are a number of episodes about Odo trying to learn more about his origins. Most of them aren’t any good. This is one such example.
547) “Gambit,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Picard dead? Romulan pirates? Archeological digs? This one is kinda all over the place.
546) “Accession,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
Sisko as “The Emissary” is interesting – but this particular exploration of that is not. Plus, the O'Brien/Bashir bromance is oversold here.
545) “Sleeping Dogs,” Enterprise, Season 1
Aiding the Klingons: never a good idea. Archer must scheme to get an away team back from a hostile vessel. Our first look at a photon torpedo!
544) “The Crossing,” Enterprise, Season 2
Non-corporeal floaty things make our crew feel great inside. Spoiler: they are up to no good! Pass.
543) “The Royale,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Our crew becomes trapped in Space Vegas. No it’s, too cheap looking. More like Space Reno.
542) “Favorite Son,” Voyager, Season 3
Harry Kim and a planet full of Space Hotties. This episode does have its merits, one must confess.
541) “Revulsion,” Voyager, Season 4
The bad news about accepting the Doctor (or, let’s face it, Data) as “people” means that any ol’ hologram, like this mentally unstable janitor on a crashed ship, deserves rights.
540) “Nightingale,” Voyager, Season 7
A rescued ship offers Harry Kim the Captain’s seat. He’s not ready for it and neither are we.
539) “Dramatis Personae,” Deep Space Nine, Season 1
A crazy virus makes everyone hate each other, except Odo and Quark — who already hated everyone! Predictable but cute.
538) “The Ascent,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5
Odo and Quark get stuck going camping or something. With a series this long every character has to get trapped with someone they don’t like at least once.
537) “State of Flux,” Voyager, Season 1
The reveal of Seska as a mole for the Kazon was a nice touch, inasmuch as anything involving the Kazon was good. Bonus points for making Chakotay feel like an ass.
536) “Alliances,” Voyager, Season 2
A lot of crosses and double-crosses are packed into this one as Janeway tries to figure out how to get all the Kazon tribes to stop fighting or, at the very least, leave her the hell alone.
535) “The Quality of Life,” The Next Generation, Season 6
Sentient computers are a pain. Data disobeys orders to save these little buggers and never gets reprimanded. What’s up with that?
534) “Manhunt,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Lwaxana : Picard :: Pepe Le Pew : That Cat.
533) “Bound,” Enterprise, Season 4
532) “Bloodlines,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Picard learns he has a son. Okay, he can do this. But the son doesn’t like learning? Red Alert! (Spoiler, the kid’s not actually his.)
531) “Waking Moments,” Voyager, Season 4
Dream aliens attack the crew in their sleep. Only Chakotay and his half-baked, poorly written Native American powers can defeat them. Woof.
530) “Violations,” The Next Generation, Season 5
Interesting look at telepathic aliens but clumsily executed. The dream sequences look like a daytime soap.
529) “Too Short A Season,” The Next Generation, Season 1
Some standard science-hubris stuff out of a guest star, but a nice early look at the larger Federation.
528) “Ties of Blood and Water,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5
DS9 had a lot of characters and loose strings. This episode feels like one big deep breath of a catch-up. Probably necessary at the time.
527) “The Sword of Kahless,” Deep Space Nine, Season 4
The mythology-building aspect of this one is tops. But the action of Worf, Dax and Kor on the hunt for a missing bat'leth is a little cheap and dopey.
526) “Catspaw,” The Original Series, Season 2
Kirk and company enter a spooky castle. Trek’s Halloween episode. I can’t rationalize liking this one too much, but it does have its charms.
525) “Prophet Motive,” Deep Space Nine, Season 3
I like an episode with a pun in the title. Quark must discover what’s up with Grand Nagus Zek being so nice. This is a comic relief character that you can also take seriously from time to time. Armin Schimerman deserved a thousand Emmys.
524) “Field of Fire,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
A killer on the station has the coolest weapon since TOS’ Tantalus Field. But Ezri’s on the case! Why Ezri and not Odo? Gotta give Ezri something to do, I guess.
523) “Emergence,” The Next Generation, Season 7
All holodeck episodes were really leading to this Season 7 doozy: where the ship itself becomes “alive,” man.
522) “Covenant,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
521) “Change of Heart,” Deep Space Nine, Season 6
Worf and Dax caught behind enemy lines. Will he follow orders and leave her to die? Spoiler: no.
520) “Repentence,” Voyager, Season 7
Our crew runs afoul of the worst justice system outside of Texas. Do they butt-in to stop cruel and unusual punishment?
519) “The Arsenal of Freedom,” The Next Generation, Season 1
Vincent Schiavelli is a holographic arms dealer. Picard plays doctor with Beverly Crusher. I feel like this was one of the episodes that was always on.
518) “In The Cards,” Deep Space Nine, Season 5
As Bajor considers a non-aggression pact with the Dominion, Jake hunts for a baseball card for his father. Somehow, the two compliment each other.
517) “Distant Voices,” Deep Space Nine, Season 3
Cool premise of Dr. Bashir hopping around his timeline in a brain-in-a-vat setting, but dramatically the episode doesn’t go anywhere.
516) “Eye of the Beholder,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Bad vibes are floating around the Enterprise and they are driving Counselor Troi batty.
515) “Extreme Measures,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
Dr. Bashir and Chief O'Brien run through Sloane’s mind, literally. The only true misstep in that great final arc.
514) “Sacred Ground,” Voyager, Season 3
Kes accidentally tarnishes a shrine and Janeway can only save her by accepting that being a true scientist means not knowing everything, thus requiring a degree of faith. Only they lay it out a little better than that.
513) “A Matter of Honor,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Riker goes on the Klingon Exchange Program. If you were lucky to see this for the 1st time in middle school you repeated the phrase “Gagh is always best when served live!” over and over until you got detention.
512) “Samaritan Snare,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Just 'cause it’s the future doesn’t mean everyone is super smart. Meet the Pakleds.
511) “Firstborn,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Alexander Rozhenko doesn’t want his Klingon bar mitzvah.
510) “Maneuvers,” Voyager, Season 2
Seska, the Cardiassian posing as a Bajoran posing as a Maquis but is actually a Kazon spy (!!) is back and ready to give Chakotay more grief. She’s more likable as a villain than the dull Chakotay is as a hero.
509) “Silicon Avatar,” The Next Generation, Season 5
You can’t keep a good crystalline entity down.
508) “Muse,” Voyager, Season 6
A dramatist with eyes for B'Elanna uses her war stories. How does the WGA come down on this?
507) “Evolution,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Wesley gets space termites on the ship but the Prime Directive says you can’t kill 'em with nano-Raid.
506) “Phantasms,” The Next Generation, Season 7
Data’s dream programs cause problems. Considering no one really knows how Data actually works, maybe tinkering with his mind isn’t a good idea.
505) “The Child,” The Next Generation, Season 2
Troi is space-raped, keeps the baby, it grows up fast and “has to go now, my home planet needs me.”
504) “It’s Only A Paper Moon,” Deep Space Nine, Season 7
Nog and his war wound hang out in the Holosuite.
503) “Homeward,” The Next Generation, Season 7
502) “The Host,” The Next Generation, Season 4
Middling episode, but introduced us to Trills.
501) “The Most Toys,” The Next Generation, Season 3
Saul Rubinek kidnaps Data. This episode has been condemned for trading in gay stereotypes. I missed that when I first saw it as a kid — I just thought it was a duller version of the story within “The Menagerie.” Extra points for seeing Data possibly use a disruptor set to kill.