I don’t know how they do it. Car salesmen are very brave people to get in a vehicle with a complete stranger and put their life in someone’s hands as they pull out of the lot. Who knows what could happen? The guy could be blind like Al Pacino in Scent of A Woman. After reading these stories, a blind guy might not even be so bad. Here are a few of the weirdest stories that car salesmen on Reddit have experienced.
1. It’s called a test drive for a reason
We sell all types of vehicles, but our most popular vehicle is a full size pickup. We always have at least 5 or 10. Early December, we had a dude come in and he was interested in a Focus wagon and wanted to take it for a test drive. He came back about 45 minutes later, said it wasn’t what he was looking for, and rushed off. I went to put the car away, and noticed it smelled like pine. The asshole loaded a Christmas tree in the back and took it home, then brought our car back. Why couldn’t he have just used a truck?
2. Never judge a shirtless motorcycle rider but the cover
Had a guy show up on a fairly nice Harley Davidson without a shirt on. Nobody helped him so I offered to. He wanted to drive one of our top end cars ($320K Rolls-Royce Ghost). I got a service bag (the ones that protect the seats from the mechanics’ grime) and let him drive it. We got up to about 140 mph on a public road before I told him he needed to buy it before hitting 150 mph. We went back to the dealership, he went to his bike and wrote us a check. We delivered the car to his house that night and has been buying cars from the dealership ever since.
3. The mystery man
I had a dirty looking guy with long, greasy hair want to test drive a Cadillac. We had a pre-planned route for test drives, but he turned the opposite way out of the dealership and told me he wanted to go his own way. At this point, he was acting somewhat strange, like nothing specific, just odd mannerisms. We drove a couple miles and I started getting a bit scared that I was going to be on the 6 o'clock news, when suddenly he pulled into an ice cream place. He bought us both ice cream cones and we ate them as he checked out the engine, then we drove back and he left. He didn’t buy the car, and I never saw him again. I prefer to believe that he travels the country, buying ice cream for poor commission starved car salesmen like a dirty, greasy Santa Claus.
4. Very responsive
Test drove a sports car once and the salesman kept telling me to step on the gas so that I could get a good sense of the power. After ignoring him a couple times, he put his hand on my thigh and pressed my leg down onto the accelerator. I instinctively backhanded him with a closed fist and gave him a bloody nose.
5. Sounds like an episode of Cheaters
A few minutes into the drive the guy sees his fiancée and another guy entering an apartment complex and flips the fuck out, pulls over across the street, runs to the apartment and demands that she leaves. The guy she’s with is pretty dorky as well. Was about to return to the dealership when they start slap fighting like two 12-year-old girls.
6. A strange request
She asked if we could run an errand. I said sure. We drove to a house a few minutes away. She got out, took a small bag out of her purse and placed a used feminine product on the windshield of a car in the driveway, got back in the car and said, “Fuck that ho.”
7. Should’ve just sold her the car
The strangest was this little old lady named Virginia. She drove up in a silver 2001 Lincoln Town Car. She said that demons had possessed that car and “the man in the radio” told her to buy a new one. I was a little perplexed, but I agreed to show her a (new at the time) 2011 Lincoln Town Car in silver. She wanted to test drive it. I felt a little awkward but, nevertheless, I asked her for her driver’s license. It was current and valid, so I got the keys.
She starts the car, drives it across our parking lot, and then immediately stops when she spots her current 2001 TC sitting in the parking lot. She says, “Hey! There’s a silver one! Can we drive that one?” Now I’m really confused. I remind her that the car she is now pointing at is actually her current car, and we are test-driving a new silver one. She says “Oh, ok. We’ll drive that one when we get back.” Now I’m not comfortable. I call my sales manager and he tells me to proceed with the drive but not leave the general area or go on any freeways.
We leave the lot and pull up to a busy intersection. While we are waiting for a green light she starts asking me if this car has any bad demons in it. We are cruising along at 30mph (while annoying all of the traffic around us) when she suddenly for no reason just slams on the brakes. THANK GOODNESS no one was immediately behind us. I politely ask her to please pull over on the side of the road and I drive us back to the dealership.
I walk her inside and tell my sales manager what had being going on. She tells him she wants to buy the car. He looks at me like, “What’s the big deal? Sell her the car.” At this point, I don’t feel right about it. I ask her if she is absolutely sure that she wants to buy a brand new car today. She says, “Yes I’d love to. Do you have any silver Town Cars?” I explain that we just got back from a test drive in a silver Town Car. She doesn’t believe me and wants to see a new silver Town Car. I called the police and explained that I believed she was senile and should not be driving. They came down to the dealer and that’s when we found out that she had gone missing from an institute not too far from here. They have no idea how she got the 2001 Town Car. It was registered to a family in town with no relation to her.