When getting murdered, it’s probably best to either not know its coming at all then bam, dead, or at least get enough revenge on the assailant to make it into a book-selling experience. These survivors share their harrowing near death stories on Reddit and we’ve compiled our favorites for you. As far as we know, everyone made it and no prize winning books were published.
A man jumped me and pummeled me on a beach in Barbados in an attempted rape. When I attacked him in defense he tried to kill me and was strangling me. I dug my shoulders I to the sand to relieve pressure and not black out managed to squeeze my knee between us to separate his torso from mine he then arched his back bringing his face closer to mine and I grabbed on with my teeth and went at his mouth and tongue ripping plenty off while he screamed. That got him off me and running. I felt high and happy after the fact but my bf that was running down to help me cried for hours. The real horror came after with the hospital visit and the next day reporting it to the constable. Barbados police don’t give a shit about rape and society there victim blames. Nothing was computerized and I had to write three copies of the incident to get it reported. My only consolation is that tongues don’t grow back and that mofo will remember me forever.
REAL BIG POS
When I was a newborn my biological father tried to kill me by choking me. It happened in my grandmother’s kitchen and my mom bopped him over the head with a frying pan and stabbed him with one of those hot dog pokers you use on the grill. He’s always been a real big piece of shit.
When I was eight, my father shot me in my sleep, shot and killed my brother in his sleep, and committed suicide. I lost all of my sight, my left eye, and my sense of smell. I survived the shot because the bullet entered from my right temple and exited out my left, instead of enter from the back of my head or my forehead. The bullet lodged into my left hand because my head was resting on my hand when I was sleeping.
A WHOLE LOTTA MURDER ATTEMPT
I’m not sure if this counts exactly since the person wasn’t trying to specifically kill me… but when I used to work at Starbucks, a guy was trying to kill his ex girlfriend by causing a gas leak at our location with all of us still working there. Our shift supervisor smelled the gas and had us evacuate while calling the fire department.
I remember thinking “wow, I could have died over some stupid high school drama.” Made me realize that every time something bad happens to me, I shouldn’t overreact to the point where it inconveniences others like I’m the only person with problems to deal with. Don’t want to be like that guy.
I was stabbed while bouncing (working as security) at a bar. I’m not sure if that counts. I doubt the guy was really trying to kill me, though he very easily could have. It required emergency surgery to close up an artery and the knife stopped just shy of puncturing my lung. My friend, also bouncing, was stabbed over his heart, but his sternum stopped the blade. That’s probably what caused the stabber to slice his own fingers open, which lead to finding him and the conviction.
He was charged with attempted murder, along with a bunch of other things. He was convicted of at least some of those charges and did 6 years.
All in all, not bad. 10/10, would get stabbed again.
INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE
My cousin tried to drown me a few years ago. We’d been on bad terms for years; she beat me up constantly when we were kids and she sabotaged my work a few times in high school. I never fought back because she was absolutely fucking crazy and I figured she was “special”. About three years ago I dated a guy she was interested in (didn’t know she was into him) and that was the “final straw” as she put it. So she decided to kill me by dragging me into the pool in her backyard and holding me underwater until I blacked out (she’s easily twice my size/weight so it was the easiest way for her, and she could just blame my death on drowning by accident).
Anyways, she successfully held me underwater until I stopped breathing, then got out of the pool and sat in a deck chair to watch the show. My friend found me and he genuinely thought I was dead. He dragged me out of the water and did CPR, and that probably saved my life.
If you’re wondering where psychopath cousin was for that whole ordeal, she was still sitting there in her pink flamingo deck chair, smiling like Norman fucking Bates.
Charges were pressed, and insanity was pled (which was probably accurate anyways).
I do not really talk to that side of the family much anymore.
INSANE IN THE BRAIN
I lived in this duplex years ago with one of my coworkers. Our place of employment hired this new guy who clearly had some issues, but seemed like he was really trying. The new guy, Shawn, had been in and out of rehab and halfway houses for drug charges, but he was living in his brother’s garage and picking up as many shifts at work as he could to try and earn enough money to get his own place. Winter came around, and Shawn was living in this unheated, uninsulated garage. My coworker/roommate talked about it and decided to invite him to stay on our couch under the condition that he stay clean and he keep saving for a new place. Shawn gratefully accepted, moved in, and things went well for several months.
But then Shawn started slipping, missing shifts at work, disappearing for days on end, all while becoming much more aggressive. Our suspicions were confirmed when one day my roommate walked in on Shawn smoking meth on the living room floor. We promptly told Shawn to gather his things and move out. A few weeks later, at about 1am I awake to someone pounding on the front door. I groggily get up and go answer it, and there is Shawn, high as a kite and screaming. I quickly latched the outside wooden screen door, and tried to talk Shawn into leaving before I called the cops. After a few minutes without making any headway, I tell Shawn I am going to call the police, and start shutting the inside door. Shawn bursts through the wooden screen door like it isn’t even there, which knocks me backwards over the arm of the couch. I land on the seating portion of the couch on my back, and Shawn is on top of me, with both hands around my throat. I swung and hit him in the head and face as hard as I could, but he was a big guy and was so high that it didn’t faze him. If anything, it tightened his grip around my throat. I quickly realized that I couldn’t get him off me, so I kind of quit struggling and resigned myself to my fate. My vision started to get blurry around the edges and sounds started getting muffled. At first I felt sad that I wouldn’t get to see my family again, but then I just started to feel at peace as I began slipping away. Finally, I closed my eyes for what I thought would be the last time in my life.
Suddenly I was able to draw a huge breath, and the weight of Shawn’s body was no longer pinning me down. I rolled off the couch gasping for air, and when I gained enough breath, I looked up to see my roommate, I shit you not, beating Shawn around the head and face with a frying pan. She had heard the commotion and ran into the living room to see Shawn choking me to death, so she grabbed a frying pan off the drying rack in the kitchen and started to hit him as hard as she could.
We were eventually able to push Shawn outside, where he sat on a bench on my porch crying until the police arrived.
I have this mate from the States, older gent, owns a company that goes around putting change in vending machines or whatever. Anywho, his childhood friend co-owned the company with him, things were apparently really good. As it would appear, his friend was a jealous, greedy cunt, wanted to own the company all by his lonesome.
The ‘friend’ calls up my mate, asks him to help in fiddling with his car. Now my mate is a very kind guy, goes above and beyond to help a brother, gets over to his house with his toolkit and smile on his face as I can imagine although the devious little shit rigged the car up so the exhaust would pour into the car and suffocate him. The bloke knocks him out cold, chucks him in the car with it on and goes to watch telly or something.
Old mate wakes up, squirms out of the car and escapes. His mate eventually gets up to check out his dirty deed and sees him disappeared, and proceeds to send him a text along the lines of 'you should be asleep in the car…’. By this time he has already made it to the police station.
What’s freakier is, this obvious attempt at homicide re-jogged his memory of a month or two prior where he went to help his buddy mow his lawn where a 'freak accident’ cause a large piece of shrapnel to slice his cheek - coincidence? Who knows?
Needless to say, my mate owns the entire company now. Really great guy, isn’t the first time some cunt tried to off him though.
Driving through rural Oregon with a couple of buddies on Spring Break, on a stretch of highway with one lane in each direction, we were stuck in a line of cars behind a woman who was driving a little slowly. We hit a stretch where passing was allowed so I moved over and sped up so I could get around her.
She sped up too.
I was driving a Civic with three big guys in the car so I couldn’t beat her. OK, I thought, be that way. I slowed back down to get back behind her.
She slowed down too. She wasn’t going to let me back in.
The passing lane was coming to an end and I was starting to get a little nervous. I tried to catch her eye to indicate that she had to let me in and realized she was staring at me, smiling. I looked forward and realized a semi was coming straight towards me. I jerked left, onto the shoulder of the oncoming lane, and missed the semi by a few feet. The cars behind the psycho had seen the whole thing and let me in between them, and she exited shortly after trying to kill me.
I only drive fast cars now and when I pass people I try to do it before they notice I’m doing it.
I was 16 and asleep in my bed when I just abruptly “felt” something wrong. I rolled over, and saw a person by my bed. He was wearing a hoodie, and my father used to wear a long ponytail and in the dark, these things looked pretty similar.
I said, “Dad?”
The person jumped on the bed and shoved his hand into my panties, and into me.
There was a really long terrifying moment where I thought it was my father doing this to me, incidentally. He told me, “Shut up, bitch!” and started choking me, hard.
I realized finally it wasn’t my father, and started fighting with him, my brain finally kicked in and shook me out of the shock I was in. I started struggling with him, and eventually managed to get my knee into his groin, which I don’t think hurt him so much as it just dislodged him enough he lost his balance.
His hands fell away from my throat, and I screamed like I have never screamed before in my whole life. I hope never to scream like that again.
He paused, unsure of whether or not to stay and renew his efforts on raping me, or to leave. He decided to leave, and dove out my window.
I was so incensed I chased to the window after him and kept screaming after him.
We called the police, who took pictures of the handprints on my throat, and took things as evidence, like my underwear, and a phonebook they thought he might’ve touched.
Hours later, I braved going back into my room to get something, I noticed an extension cord was out of place, the one that plugged into my radio–only part of the end of it was visible, and the plug portion was cut off for some reason. I was baffled. I pulled it out from around the corner of my bed, and the end had been fashioned into a noose, big enough to fit around my head.
So it was then, finally, that 16-year-old me realized this man who broke in had intended to actually strangle me to death, and for whatever reason, I had woken up in time to catch him before he got that far.
I’ve never slept soundly since. I am almost 40. I am always afraid someone is in my house.
LIAM THE TERRIBLE
When I was a kid, my neighbors were this sweet old couple, and occasionally their grandkids- five boys- would come to visit. The oldest, Liam, was my age and had severe behavioral problems. All his younger brothers were terrified of him, and I hated his guts, but I still had to hang out with him. One time, we were playing in an inflatable pool in my backyard, Liam, my sister and I being the oldest ones there- no adults were around. Well, Liam wouldn’t stop picking on his poor brothers, so I pantsed him. Everyone laughed. He did not take it well. When I turned around, he ran up behind me and shoved my head underwater and held me under for about two minutes while I struggled. I could see his brothers’ legs around me but none of them moved, that’s how petrified they were of him. I thought it was over. I was starting to black out when I began to hear a SWOOOSH SWOOSH SWOOSH noise and then suddenly I was free, flat on my back and coughing up water. My sister had waded over as fast as she could and punched him in the face so hard she broke his nose :)
DRUNK DRIVING IS STILL ATTEMPTED MURDER
I was riding my bike home one night and was stopped at a light in the bike lane. BAM! A pickup truck hits me from the back side; he’d swerved into the bike lane while slowing for the light. Luckily he wasn’t going very fast and only knocked me over.
I started yelling at him through his open windows but he pretended to ignore me, so I leaned in through the window to get his attention. He tried to punch me but I pulled back. Then he started to get out of the car to come fight me but changed his mind.
At that point I decided to get his license plate number so I walked out into the crosswalk to get a look. When he saw me he gunned the truck and swerved to try to run me over. Then he continued on through the red light.
Cops found him near his home, got him for drunk driving and assault with a deadly weapon. He just got sentenced to 7 years in state prison.