With the announcement of Marvel movies up to 2019, the studio behind the Taken films has given us a sneak peek at the films they plan to roll out in the next few years. These are totally real and you should believe us because it’s on the internet.
Taken 4: Granted (July 2015)
Liam Neeson and his new wife go to marriage counseling to heal the wounds his trips overseas have caused.
Taken 5: Is This Seat Taken? (December 2015)
Liam Neeson spends an hour and 30 minutes trying to find a seat in a crowded movie theater.
Taken 6: Mistaken (March 2016)
Liam Neeson forgets his name and life and gets tattoos to remind him of who and what he is. Nothing at all like that early Christopher Nolan film.
Taken 7: Taken the Vows (November 2016)
Liam Neeson tries to find his daughter, but instead finds Jesus and more importantly, himself as he joins the priesthood.
Taken 8: Taken It to the Streets (February 2017)
Liam Neeson starts a dance crew to reach the inner city with a message of enlightenment.
Taken 9: Token (June 2017)
Liam Neeson teams up with Wiz Khalifa and Willie Nelson to track down a joint that has been bogarted.
Taken 10: Taken to Prom (November 2017)
His daughter isn’t happy about it, but Liam Neeson is her prom date in this zany caper perfect for teens and tweens alike.
Taken 11: Taken Your Order (January 2018)
Too many trips to save his daughter has left Liam Neeson a bankrupt alcoholic who has taken a job at a Burger King to make ends meet.
Taken 12: Taken It To The Maxx (April 2018)
While shopping inside of a TJ Maxx, Liam Neeson loses his daughter, but finds some great savings on dress shirts and slacks.
Taken 13: Takken (October 2018)
Liam Neeson gets trapped inside of the popular fighting game Tekken and has to train in MMA in order to fight his way back to reality.
Taken 14: Taken It Back (June 2003)
Liam Neeson creates a time machine and goes back to 2003 and releases a Taken movie during a time when people actually gave a shit.
Taken 15: We Are Just Taken Your Money By Now (March 2019)
The film is a 9/11 truther documentary hosted by Liam Neeson.
Kyle is a writer based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter: @kyle_lippert.