Ever since Liam Neeson took on the role of retired CIA agent Bryan Mills in 2008’s Taken, it’s been impossible not to absorb his now-infamous opening salvo through cultural osmosis:
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
As we know, what follows that speech is three movies showing Neeson’s character delivering on that promise, blow after blow, bullet after bullet. And thanks to Burger Fiction, we now have a 90 second condensed version of the Taken trilogy. It’s an ass-kicking montage with only a few brief respites from extraordinary violence: