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10 Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Smart-Ass Student Responses They’ve Ever Heard

10 Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Smart-Ass Student Responses They’ve Ever Heard: Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

We’ve all had teachers who were quick with a comeback to an disruptive classmate. Most of the time, this is the case because the teacher is way smarter than the students and has heard every thing in the book. But every once in a while, a kid will turn the tables and shoot back with a truly wise-ass and hilarious quip. Below are 10 instances of this, where students got the better of their educators, as told to Reddit by the teachers themselves.


CLEVER GIRL
Back when I taught first grade, we were doing a writing assignment about Thanksgiving. The kids had to draw a picture of their family celebrating Thanksgiving, and then write about it. One little girl drew the table and chairs, and that was all. I knew she just didn’t feel like doing the work, so I tried to prompt her. I asked where the food and her family were, and she snapped right back with, “They’re washing the dishes.” Had to give her credit for coming up with a logical argument for not doing the work!

SAVED BY THE BELL
The bell rings and a student gets up to leave and I use the classic line “the bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do.” He just continues to leave, gets in the doorway of the class and says “If it decides when I come, it decides when I leave” and just leaves the class.

THEM DIGITS
I taught in an inner city school. We were talking about prime numbers so I would have kids give me a number and we’d work out if the number was a prime number on the board. One kid wasn’t paying attention so me being a young teacher I thought I’d catch him off guard and call on him. It went something along the lines of:
“Marc, do you have a number?”
“Huh?”
“I need your number.”
“Sheeeit, play it cool, girl. We can talk after class.”
The whole room lost their shit and I turned red from embarrassment.

TECHNICALLY HE WAS RIGHT
Told a kid “no drinks in class”. He got up from his seat, picked up MY drink, and deposited in the garbage with his drink.

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE, WHO NEEDS SWEETS?
We’re doing number problems and a kid is having trouble with a sum. The sum is “You have 40 sweets. You give half your sweets to your friend. How many sweets do you have now.” I grab 40 counters, and say to the kid “Here are 40 sweets. If you give me half, how many will you have left?” Kid turns to me, and deadpan says “I can’t give you the sweets. You aren’t my friend.”

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY
Had my class of working class kids at an art gallery. As we waited for our tour to begin, we played on the small playground near the door. A prep school kid in a uniform approached two of my boys and said, ‘I bet I’m smarter than you are!’ I watched to make sure no blood was drawn—my students can hold their own pretty much anywhere and they don’t accept insults casually. But they were cool. 'No you’re not. Are you in Grade 2?’ The boy said he was and one of my boys said, “so then we’re all grade 2. So we are all grade 2 smart.’ He went back to climbing the monkey bars. But the prep school kid continued. 'I know I’m smarter. Let’s do some math and I’ll prove it.’ The toughest kid in my room looked this guy square in the eye and said, 'Well, I’m smart enough not to do math when I’m having fun on a playground.’

ALL ABOARD
I say, “I lost my train of thought.” He replies, “It’s okay sir, there were no important passengers onboard.”

PASS
Reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students, “So this expression doesn’t fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral. So what do you propose we do?” A kid from the back shouted “The next question!”

AIRHEAD V. BALDHEAD
One of my classes is fun in that we give each other a hard time, but all in good fun and we accomplish a lot. A girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason, and she’s a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her. Another boy jumps in and says “Yeah Mister, your head!” I’m going bald. I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny.

NAILED IT
“Do you want me to call your dad?”
“If he picks up, tell him to come home soon.”

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