Keeping true to a tweet that drew quite a few millennial LOLs, Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk has “Unveiled the D.” Culminating a week’s worth of wild speculation comes our formal introduction to the Model S P85D: a dual-motored rocketship on wheels, that also doubles as a loyal, well-trained puppy of an automobile.
Now with more instantly-accessible power than ever before, the “D” will propel drivers from naught to 60mph in a touch over three seconds. Musk boasted in an early interview with USA Today he expects the acceleration to match that of his current favorite automobile - a McLaren. Describing the power as “like having your own personal roller-coaster,” Musk’s move also equips the Model S with all-wheel-drive, making it suddenly more appealing to consumers who live in inclement or changing climates.
Tesla’s backdrop for the news - Hawthorne Municipal Airport, just outside of Los Angeles - was no doubt an obscure hint to the “something else,” also promised in their CEO’s teaser: Autopilot. For those doubting that autonomous driving is just over the horizon, take note of the cool - but somewhat creepy - tricks the latest Model S is ready to pull, now.
Automatic Lane Changing – Simply click the turn signal and, assuming the coast is clear, the car takes care of the rest.
Speed Zone Reading - Yes, the car can read. While in motion, cameras scan for posted speed limits, and will adjust its rate of travel accordingly.
Driver Subservience - Autopilot owners will be able to come home after a hard day, then command their Tesla to park itself in the garage and power-down. When it’s time to head back out into the rapidly changing world, the car will be there - playing its master’s favorite music, at master’s ideal cabin climate.
The P85D is in short a perfect example of the amazing - and possibly terrifying - future that is closer than even your paranoid uncle thinks. Will it make your commute feel like a Six Flags excursion? Yes. Will it steal your heart, but eventually grow bored and leave you for another Tesla? You can take your chances at love beginning this December.