If you’re new to The Pickup with Nick Savoy, I am a professional dating coach for men with a company called Love Systems. I take guys to bars, clubs, parties, parks and coffee shops to show them how to attract women. They get to see and hear what I do, and then I watch and correct their “game” until they are getting it right—and getting results.
Most men have just one move or technique to attract women (if they have any at all). If what you’ve got isn’t what she’s interested in in that moment, you’re sunk. Also, the more attractive she is, the pickier she is likely to be. Many beautiful women look for a man who can interest them on multiple levels.
Just last week, a fellow Love Systems instructor introduced me to a client of his, who was literally one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met. With some women, his sense of humor was enough. They laughed at his jokes and gave him their phone number. But with other women, you could tell that they were interested, but they were also wondering…is that all there is?
His situation was easy—we quickly fixed his game by giving him more of an edge, by teaching how to tease and be just a little bit cocky. But it got me thinking of all of the other “one move” guys out there and what I could do in The Pickup to help. There are so many ways to attract women, so I’ll highlight a couple of the most effective ones that guys don’t tend to use.
The game is often won or lost before you even start the conversation. She’s noticed—consciously or subconsciously—what you’ve been doing and how other people are treating you. That’s one reason why being on the same page with your wingman is so important.
The biggest social proof you can get is from preselection. That’s where one woman gets attracted to you because she sees that other women are attracted to you.
Too many men try to attract women by doing attractive things instead of being attractive. This relates to the substance of your lifestyle as well as how you present it. In particular, women can make snap judgments about you and your personality based on your fashion choices.
Being more successful with women is often about two different things: Making life changes to become more attractive, and learning to “speak woman” so you can communicate how awesome you are in a way that she finds compelling.
Teasing is an opportunity to show off your social skills, your ability to make her laugh, how you can think on your feet and, most of all, to show her that you’re not just some random guy expecting to get rejected. You’re in her league.
Teasing a woman should never be mean or about something someone could be sensitive about (and definitely never make fun of anything about her appearance). Tease her about stuff like where she’s from (assuming that it’s not a sensitive subject—stay away from teasing if she’s from another country) or a “cute” mannerism she has or what she’s drinking, and so on.
Storytelling is one of the key building blocks of attraction. Stories give you a chance to hold others’ attention and to tell listeners something about yourself in a way that is often more interesting and more credible than telling them directly.
A lot of men don’t use storytelling as well as they should, because they think that a story has to be relevant to the topic of conversation before they can use them. Next time you go to a bar or a party, experiment. Bring up non sequitur stories in conversation with women. I’ll bet dollars to donuts that if your story is good and entertaining, the one reaction she won’t have is, “Nice story, but how does that relate to what we were just talking about?”
It’s been proven that people remember each other better, and more positively, when there is physical contact. Touch early and touch often, though be appropriate. Not only does this show that you are comfortable with yourself and your body, but it shows a lot of confidence. And I’m sure you know: women LOVE confidence in a man.
These are just a couple of often overlooked attraction techniques, and of course we’re only scratching the surface for each. Look for more detail in future The Pickup columns!
Nick Savoy is a Master Instructor with Love Systems, the international dating consultancy for men. Download Nick Savoy’s FREE e-book today: Uncensored