Help me with this. I’m in a bar with a date and excuse myself to use the rest room. When I return, a guy is hovering over my chair, talking to my date. I linger, play the jukebox, etc. I didn’t want to dive in like a possessive boyfriend. Later, my date said I should have come right back because the guy was a loser and she was dying to get rid of him. A week later, I’m on a date with another woman. This time when I come out of the john and see a guy talking to her, I head straight for the table, excuse myself and take my seat. My date later tells me that I acted like a jealous he-man claiming his turf and should have given her time to take care of the situation. I guess the only solution is to ask my dates before I take a leak, “If there’s a guy with you when I come back, how would you like me to handle it?” How does the Advisor deal with the man-in-my-chair situation?

– C.T., Santa Barbara, California

****We put our hand on the back of the chair and say hello. It’s a bar, after all - lots of friendly people. But we’re confused by the women you’re dating. How hard is it to tell a chummy guy that you’re with someone? It’s OK to expect your date to save your seat.