Where’s the best place to meet women?

There are a number of good strategies, none of which involve the “cold call” where you approach a woman you find attractive on the street and attempt to start a conversation. Leave that to the pick-up artists. It’s more likely you will meet your next girlfriend through a mutual friend, at work or doing something you enjoy (such as an evening class or club). However, we are fortunate to live in the Internet age, as more and more couples are finding each other online. This is especially useful if you tend to be shy about meeting new people; online dating sites allow you to have conversations without the pressure of “auditioning” in person with someone you’ve just met. Start your search at a larger site such as lavalife.com, chemistry.com or match.com, or drill down with those that cater to more specific interests. Here are a few:

LargeFriends.com for plus-size singles

DateMyPet.com for people who expect you also to love their dog or cat

HotSaints.com for Mormons (“chase and be chaste!”)

MillionaireMatch.com for people who earn $150,000 or more annually

ActForLove.org for lefty activists

TrekPassions.com for sci-fi geeks

TripLife.com for frequent fliers

VeggieDate.com for vegetarians

DarwinDating.com for beautiful people

PositiveSingles.com for people with STDs

SciConnect.com for scientists


SeniorPeopleMeet.com for singles age 60 and older

Prescription4Love.com for people with health conditions or disabilities


You also might have success not only meeting women but making friends at a dinner club such as Table for Six or Eight at Eight. The hosts organize dinners and conversation with six to eight adults (male and female). Of course, there’s also the conventional “speed dating,” in which you spend a few minutes with dozens of people and then rate them so that organizers can arrange matches.

Keep in mind that if you are desperate to meet someone, and you judge every new woman you encounter as a potential girlfriend, your desperation will rise off you like steam. Having a girlfriend is not going to make you happy, and in many cases it will not cure your loneliness. You must be content alone before you can have a strong relationship.

How do you tell a friend you’d like to be her boyfriend?We suggest you just come out and say it, but use the word “crush,” which doesn’t sound so threatening. If she feels the same way, this gives her an opening. If she doesn’t, it may be awkward for a while. But if the friendship is strong, it will survive.

Are there any porn videos a woman would like?

It’s hard to say what turns any particular woman on, but one way to learn a great deal about your partner’s tastes is to hand her the remote and see where she stops fast-forwarding. You also might want to direct her to sites such as freddyandeddy.com or pornmoviesforwomen.com, which review movies that may have more erotic appeal.

What’s the best aphrodisiac?

Regular exercise.

Should I get married? I love her, but…

Everyone is a little unsure – or should be. Otherwise you’re expecting too much. The first question to ask is whether your girlfriend wants to get married. It’s nice to be able to surprise her by popping the question, but that should never be the first time the subject comes up. It’s crucial to discuss issues such as whether and when to have children, how you will handle household finances and how often you hope to have sex. It is also useful to hear from those who have gone before. For his book VoiceMale, Neil Chethik asked nearly 300 husbands what they would tell a young man who is weighing this decision. Their foremost advice, he reports, is not to rush it. Most thought a man should be 25 or even 30 before marrying. One said, “A balanced marriage comes when you don’t need the relationship, when you can function on your own. When you’re secure with yourself, you’re not pulling at each other.” You shouldn’t expect that your life will be easier or happier or that you will gain confidence by being married. You should plan to make the partnership your top priority and marry a woman you like as well as love. One man spoke of his “mental attraction” to his wife. Finally, understand her goals and dreams so you can encourage them. A few men expressed regret at having married a woman simply because she was too hot to pass up, because that was all they ended up with.

How can we find a good marriage counselor?

Search the consumer directory at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. To locate a sex therapist, search at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

My girlfriend won’t let me read Playboy. What should I do?

This is almost always the result of the girlfriend never having read the magazine. (If you’re looking for “one-dimensional” views of women, try some of the bestselling women’s magazines, or any beach novel.) One of the best suggestions we’ve heard comes from a reader who said he has compromised with each of his girlfriends who objected to his subscription: she could go through each issue when it arrived in the mail and tear out anything she disapproved of. Without fail, he tells us, after a few months the girlfriend would not only tear nothing out, she would keep the magazine to read herself, and he’d have to get a new subscription.

Is [fill in the blank] cheating?

Ask your partner. He or she will tell you in an instant.