The Playboy Advisor FAQ - His Orgasm

By Playboy Advisor

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A roundup of the most frequently asked sex questions by him. Is there such a thing as male multiple orgasm?

Many men have taught themselves to enjoy multiple orgasms by delaying ejaculation through control of the pubococcygeus muscle (it’s the muscle you squeeze to cut off the flow of urine), a technique that takes some practice. A rare breed of man can have rapid-fire orgasms with ejaculation. In a study of 21 multi-orgasmic men, five said they continued thrusting or stroking to "ride out" the recovery period, while the others had quick, successive climaxes. Most reported having two to nine. Three men had multiples without ejaculating, two came the first time but not again and 16 had a variety of patterns.

Why can't I reach orgasm during a blow job?

You may have a hang-up about coming in your girlfriend's mouth. You may need more friction. You may have spent years masturbating in a certain way and conditioned yourself to only be able to climax to that particular stimulation. Add a hand (yours or hers), or one of you can add manual stimulation elsewhere -- touching, rubbing, squeezing, etc. -- to assist the process. You may need a better view -- so that you can see, and therefore believe, that it is actually happening to you. You may find it helps to have her look back at you. Do it in front of a mirror or in better light or standing so that you can look down on the action. Finally, try switching the order, using intercourse as foreplay.

My partner doesn't like giving BJs. What should I do?

Talking is an incredibly persuasive form of oral sex. Try to create an atmosphere of trust in which she can shed her images of "foul fellatio." (It doesn't hurt to practice what you preach. Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.) If your girlfriend fears gagging, start slow. Suggest she wrap her hand around your erection and lick or suck the head and shaft. That puts her in control, which may ease her inhibitions. Don't insist she immediately take you full in her mouth and perform with the expertise you see in porn films. Let her go at her own pace, and double your effort to reassure her. (It can be lonely down there.) Moan. Stroke her hair. Tell her how good she makes you feel. Don't whine for more when she's had enough. You'll probably find that once she's overcome her initial reluctance, you won't have to ask a second time. The more you do something in sex, the looser you get, the more inventive, the more comfortable and, in general, the more willing to try it again.

I can’t stay hard during sex. What should I do?

It’s normal for a man’s arousal, and the hardness of his erection, to ebb and flow during sex; you’re not a machine. If you lose your erection, surely you can find something else to do with a naked woman until it returns. That said, as men age, they will find their erections often don’t get has hard or stick around quite as long as when they were 18. This, too, is normal, and one reason that Viagra and similar drugs quickly became so popular. If you are consistently unable to get or stay hard, however, you should not treat your problem blindly with drugs. Because the arteries that feed the genitals are half the size of those that feed the heart, erectile dysfunction can be an early warning sign of serious problems such as heart disease and diabetes. If you find you need more than an occasional boost from Viagra et al., see a doctor.

How many calories are there in male ejaculate?

The caloric content of a teaspoon of semen is minimal (perhaps one or two calories) and the nutritional value practically nonexistent. And since semen does not contain any artificial flavoring, meat by-products or monosodium glutamate, your organically inclined friends can continue their inclinations toward your organ. Also, semen does not cause cavities, does not improve the voices of opera singers, does not clear up your complexion and does not cause the growth of facial hair. It does cause babies.

The chemical composition of ejaculate varies from individual to individual and within the same individual from time to time. Semen is essentially seminal plasma and spermatozoa. Approximately 8 percent of the substance is dry weight. According to the fine print on the label, it contains minute quantities of more than 30 elements such as fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, urea, uric acid, sorbitol, pyruvic acid, glutathione, inositol, lactic acid, nitrogen, B12, various salts and enzymes. According to doctors with better eyesight and more time than we have, the average ejaculate also contains between 78 million and 787 million sperm.

Can you change the taste of semen?

Many women swear that a man who drinks pineapple juice before sex has better-tasting semen. But we tend to suspect Adam Carolla has it right when he quips, "If a guy drinks 400 gallons of pineapple juice, his semen will taste like semen with a little bit of pineapple juice in it." Some women have told us they are happier swallowing when their partner eats less junk food and red meat. One semen-sweetener recipe calls for three stalks of celery (diced), two capsicums (minced), two bananas (sliced), half a cup of orange juice and half a cup of sweet sherry, but no pineapple. The brewmaster wrote, "Mix the ingredients and have the guy eat it for breakfast. He also should avoid dairy products, onions, garlic and fish for the day."

Also noteworthy: Researchers have documented differences in the sense of taste, suggesting that some women may be more sensitive to the taste of semen than others. In one study, scientists asked test subjects to place a bitter synthetic chemical on their tongues. A quarter of the people tasted nothing. Half said it tasted bitter. A quarter found it so bitter they retched. The last group are "supertasters" -- men and women who have a large number of taste buds (as many as 1100 per square centimeter of tongue). For a supertaster, frosting tastes too sweet, coffee is too bitter and alcohol too sharp. Supertasters don't like the feel of oil or fat on their tongues, and they dislike salty or spicy foods. Women are more likely to be supertasters -- about 35 percent of Caucasian women fall into the category, compared with ten percent of white men.

Why do I get a headache when I get aroused?

Sex headaches are so common pain specialists have divided them into three categories: (1)"Dull" headaches intensify as you become more aroused and peak during climax. The pain usually occurs at the back of the head and is likely caused by muscle tension. (2) "Explosive" headaches consist of a throbbing pain at climax, generally on both sides of the head. These are the most common benign sexual headaches, but no one is sure what causes them. They may be hereditary. One doctor treated four sisters who suffered from climax headaches but had never mentioned it to one another. (3) The rare "postural" headache occurs during climax at the back of the neck and head and could indicate a spinal fluid leak, which is bad news. In fact, there is an off chance that any type of sex headache could be the result of an aneurysm or tumor, which is why it is always wise to see a doctor. In most cases, treatment is as simple as gentler fucking or massage as foreplay, or drugs used to treat migraines. Harvard neurologist Donald Johns says sex headaches seem to occur most often among people in their 40s and during stressful encounters—say, during an affair or with a crazy new lover. They also occur more often in men, by a 3-to-1 ratio. Presex headaches, another challenge altogether, occur more often in women, by a 20-million-to-1 ratio.

Is there a way to prevent premature ejaculation?

First, let's define premature. Clinically, it's when a man comes consistently before or within one to two minutes of penetration. One study found thrusting lasts, on average, seven minutes, so if you can go five minutes and want to last longer, that's not a medical problem. Kegel exercises, and practicing during masturbation to improve your ability to turn back before you reach the point of no return will help build stamina.For men who do have trouble with early ejaculation, there are three types -- temporary PE, which is usually caused by anxiety about being with a new partner; late-onset PE, which occurs after years of not having problems; and lifelong PE, which is a persistent, chronic problem. With temporary PE, the condition typically feeds on itself. The guy becomes so focused on holding back that sex becomes mechanical. Rather than enjoying the moment, he's thinking 10 seconds ahead. In rare cases PE can be a symptom of illnesses such as diabetes or multiple sclerosis, so there is added concern when it appears later in life after years or decades of control.

The most common treatments include the penile squeeze (the woman squeezes her partner's erection as he nears climax to help him focus) and the start-stop technique championed by Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan (the woman gives the man a hand job until he is near climax; when his arousal wanes a bit, she repeats the exercise). Kaplan also suggests an exercise to help men become more aware of their arousal:"Rate the degree of your sexual excitement (not your erection) on a subjective scale that runs from zero to ten. Zero is when you are feeling absolutely no excitement at all and ten is when you reach orgasm," she writes. "You should have been stopping penile stimulation when you were at about eight and a half. If you tried to go until nine and a half, you went a bit too far, and if you stopped at four or five, you ended the stimulation a bit too soon. Remember, the aim of this program is not to keep your excitement down until you want to come. That is no fun at all, and besides, that doesn't work. The objective is for you to learn not to ejaculate while staying at the intensely pleasurable sexual plateau stage that precedes orgasm and to be able to relish the delicious sensations of being highly aroused instead of trying to hold back. During intercourse, most men stay somewhere between five and seven, except for brief peaks of eight or so, until they are ready to go all the way."

The scale is useful for gauging your behavior during intercourse. For example, if you reach an eight and a half during foreplay, don't try to penetrate. Let yourself cool down (refrain from rubbing or thrusting against your partner's body). The pace you adopt to keep yourself at six may be just the kind of luxurious lovemaking your partner desires most.

Some men also have success with "climax control" condoms such as Trojan's Extended Pleasure or Durex's Performax, each of which is coated on the inside with benzocaine, a mild anesthetic. Other men who have continuing problems with PE have found relief by taking the antidepressant Paxil, which can provide dramatic results.


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