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What Are the New Rules for Casual Sex?

What Are the New Rules for Casual Sex?: David Bellemere

David Bellemere

Playmates

Meet Miss August Valerie van der Graaf

David Bellemere

David Bellemere

The Olympics will soon commence and Miss August Valerie van der Graaf plans to go for broke rooting for her home country, the Netherlands. The last time our July/August cover girl attended an Olympic match, in 2012, the Rotterdam native witnessed her homeland’s women’s hockey team win gold. While we bet Valerie looks stunning in orange, we don’t mind seeing her don colors more familiar to us Yankees, as she does in her Playmate pictorial.

Sex and Politics

Who Was Dropping Dollars on Sex at the Republican National Convention?

On Tuesday, the GOP put a ring on it and nominated Donald Trump as their official presidential candidate. You know who was thrilled? Cleveland bars and strip clubs.

Just like in 2012, when the Republican National Convention descended on Tampa, everyone in Cleveland was pretty sure the GOP faithful would flood the strip clubs with dollah dollah bills, y’all—which is why a ton of exotic dancers hit town to reap the windfall. One exotic dancer wrote this rather candid account of her experiences during the RNC:

A dancer gives me a piece of fashion advice as I’m peeling off nipple tape in the dressing room at four in the morning. “You might want to wear something more flashy and shorter,” she says. “But simple. I’m going to wear something plain, not that much makeup, like a girl-next-door look. Because, you know, they’re Republicans.”

We all know conservatives pride themselves for their fiscal responsibility. The question is, Was business good for the strippers…or nah?

If you said yes, you’re probably a Democrat.

Although the Republican conventioneers were happy to wander into the clubs, Trump’s biggest fans were reluctant to drop dough to see women shimmy and shake. Their fiscal conservatism would’ve made Reagan smile, even if their lapse in morality would have made Nancy Reagan blush. That same stripper reported on the Republicans’ tight-fisted ways:

So far, by my back of the hand calculation, the typical Trump supporter buys an average of 0.5 lap dances.

Yikes! There’s not much anyone can do with half a lap dance.

We all know the party of Lincoln loves to publicly lament how adult entertainment is a “public health crisis,” but as porn site xHamster reports, Republicans secretly love porn as much as the next guy. They may say one thing in public, but the numbers don’t lie. XHamster notes the site enjoyed a record-setting surge this week in Cleveland traffic. Like, 184% higher than normal. For comparison, that increase is way larger than the bump they got when LeBron and the Cavs won this year’s NBA championship.

The Lust of A Lady

A Woman’s Hunger for Sex

Here in the West, we tend to think of women as the ones who wait for sex. We like to believe a man must coerce a woman into dropping her dress. We think a man must convince a woman to spread her thighs. But the thing is…this couldn’t be further from the truth for women.

Put this in your head and keep it handy: Women want and desire sex as much as men do.

The troubadours, the crooners and even old Motown love songs all got it wrong. Women aren’t waiting to be conquered like some unspoiled continent. Women have just the same desires you do. If you don’t believe that, read this incredibly poignant essay by Jess Zimmerman about how women have been conditioned to relate to their hunger for intimacy in a way that often parallels a woman’s relationship with food. It’s a fascinating read.

From the Magazine

The Long Leash of Sexuality

While we’re at it, in the July/August issue of Playboy, Dr. Drew Pinsky wrote this essay about the nascent cultural shifts that equally apply to both men and women’s sexuality. Thanks to the sexual revolution that OG Hugh Hefner helped usher in, all of us are enjoying more creative and satisfying sex lives. That’s a huge development for America and its Puritanical history. But, keeping it more modern: What does this new freedom of choice really mean for us individually? More specifically, what does it mean for us as thinking and feeling creatures whose unconscious desires often shape our choices?

Another important consideration is the very nature of freedom itself. Increasingly, neurobiological insights are calling into question precisely what we mean by free will. Freedom, as our founding fathers conceived it, was freedom from external oppression, freedom from tyranny, freedom to pursue our life’s work unencumbered by arbitrary restraint. Gradually, we have expanded our sense of freedom to include the freedoms implied by equality and choice. These are complex topics, and I don’t mean to reduce them to empty shibboleths, but I do wish to mention that our free will is, at a minimum, influenced, if not completely constrained, by neurobiological forces well outside of consciousness.

Modern Morality

What Are the New Rules for Casual Sex?

Now that most of us no longer have the church, synagogue, mosque or even our parents’ old-fashioned ways to shape our views of sex, we get to decide when and with whom we enjoy some carnal delight. We’re free to determine our own sexual morality. We’re the lucky ones. But, as Dr. Drew points out, with our newfound freedom comes all sorts of curious questions.

Such as, Would you feel comfortable participating in group sex? There’s a new app that hopes your answer is yes. The app offers users a chance to find group sex easily—and discreetly. Think of it as Tinder for Orgies. Swipe right for a bed full of bodies!

Now, if you engage in group sex, you might have a hard time keeping track of just how many people you’ve had sex. That’s what some would call a good problem. But let’s be real, there are still many people who are hung up on their “magic number.” Those people like to think of their number in terms of range, and within that range there are more and less acceptable numbers. This week, researchers announced what an acceptable number is for such statistics-focused folks. Going back to how we in the West tend to view male and female sexuality quite differently, of course, the acceptable “magic numbers” are different for men and women. But really, who gives a flying f…ig leaf how many people you sleep with? The sexually adventurous are way too busy exploring their sexual continent to care to keep count.

Out in Portland, there’s a growing trend of people who are expanding their notions of sexual partnerships as they engage in something called “consensual non-monogamy.” Basically, it’s a fancy term for polyamorous relationships. However, don’t be too quick to judge them as people who hop in and out bed with each other faster than you can say “Next!” Consensual non-monogamists are just as committed as standard couples. And just like any other sexual relationship, they’re bound by the same sense of mutually agreed-upon rules.

If that all sounds like too much negotiation for you, keep it casual like Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher used to. Did you know the former stars of That 70’s Show used to be sex buddies?. Yeah! And, um, here’s a fun little side note: At one time, they starred in competing movies about casual relationships. Mila was paired with Justin Timberlake in Friends With Benefits while Ashton was matched with Natalie Portman in No Strings Attached. And yet, today, years later, Ashton and Mila ended up together…married. Life is funny that way.

Sex, Science…and You

Good News! There Seems to Be Two New Vaccines to Fight STIs

This week, researchers announced they’re confident they’re close to creating two new life-changing vaccines. That’s right! First up is a new vaccine for chlamydia. In even bigger news, researchers announced at an annual AIDS conference that a new HIV vaccine is being tested in a clinical trial. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, bisexual or pansexual. That’s incredible news for everyone.

Sex Work

When Paying For Sex Goes Mainstream

What do you think about trading dollars for sex? Would you ever hire a sex worker? Every day, more and more people are saying…yes, yes, oh god yes! The reason why is we’re beginning to emerge from the long shadow of moral panic about professional sex-havers. They call it the world’s oldest profession for a reason. People have been paying for it since the invention of money. At least, that’s what the first historian Herodotus said is the reason why we invented money. And, for just as long, people have been clutching at pearls over whether or not anyone should be getting paid to get laid. You know our stance on this. We’re pro-sex worker.

In fact, as these residents of a city’s sexiest section of town point out, red light districts might actually be good for the life of a city. Keeping things kinky in the city, here are 5 Things You Don’t Know About Sex Workers in a Red Light District, such as the world-famous one in Amsterdam. This week, Hard Science delves deep to see what happens when the lights turn low and the color shifts red.

Once you’re an adult, you should be allowed to do whatever you want…as long as no one is getting hurt. That is, no one who doesn’t want to get hurt. You know what we mean.

Well, we’ve reached that time of the week. Get out there and go get your freak on. We’ll be back next week with all the sexiness that’s fit to print.



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