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This Week In Sex This Week In Sex

This Week In Sex: Abigail and Mia and Kendra, Oh My!

This Week In Sex: Abigail and Mia and Kendra, Oh My!:

What a weirdly wonderful week this was. Net Neutrality won its latest battle to keep the Internet free. And to celebrate, a pair of fleeing llamas and a white/gold or maybe it’s blue/black dress broke the Internet with the power of a thousand Kim Kardashians. Like we said, it’s been a weirdly wonderful week and it was also … sexy af.

Across the pond over at the Brit Awards, Yeezus debuted a new song, “All Day”, that got Taylor Swift up and dancing like a drunk girl at her favorite cousin’s wedding.

Maybe it was the flamethrowers, maybe it was Kanye, whatever it was, after the awards show, Taylor was feeling fired-up and asked to go with Ed Sheeran to a gay strip club–but the English singer denied her wish. It’s okay. We all know Taylor is used to being disappointed by men. (Perhaps, she’ll write a song about it.)

And hey, Taylor, little free advice–strip clubs can become a terribly expensive hobby. Just ask this dude from South Dakota who spent $1 million over four years at a strip club. (That is, until he got popped by a police sting when he paid for sex with his regular favorite exotic dancer.) Now, if you’re not good with math, to spend a mill in four years on one girl is a real accomplishment. You have to drop around …$4,808 per week.

One year is 52 weeks. Four years is 208 weeks. This dude was averaging $4,807.69 per week. For four years in a row. Either she was super expensive, or he was super horny. Either way, we’re super impressed.

Speaking of being impressed, did you see this week, our girl, Kendra Sunderland achieved one of her dreams–she posed for Playboy. It was a really good week for Kendra–she also learned that she only faces a misdemeanor for her “lewd conduct” in the OSU library. Way to beat the system, Kendra!

Here she is explaining her library strip-tease. Playboy.com got the exclusive.

In other news of some sexiness where you’d least expect it, this week, there was a lingerie show in the London Underground. If you missed it, do yourself a favor and peep some of the models’ sexy subway fun.

Even though it’s still dead cold across most of the northern hemisphere, on Instagram the world was on fyah this week. Not only did Emily Ratajkowski warm up the wintertime freeze with pics of her modeling her line of lingerie, but we almost burnt our eyeballs looking at pics of surfer Anastasia Ashley.

It was also a great week in ass. There was that girl who makes music with her booty by twerking her jiggle-machine. And down in South America, there was the Miss Reef competition. If you don’t know what that is–well, son, it’s time you learn. Also, the Russian twerk team was back at it again. You gotta hand it to the Russians, they sure know how to make a long winter bearable.

Maybe you’re kinda over twerking. Maybe you prefer badass babes covered with ink? No prob. We got you. Try this gallery of 30 sexy tattooed beauties. It’ll jump-start your weekend. Hell, these girls could reset grandpa’s pacemaker.

Inked Up Girl

Okay, real question: wtf is up with the music in porn? We’re not the only ones who’ve noticed it’s wack. This week, Noisey named the 5 worst types of music in porn. Which is kinda like picking the 5 worst types of drivers in Houston. You got plenty to work with.

You know who’s also working it? Those Internet cam girls! At the moment, the sex industry estimates cam girls make-up 50% of the porn market. Like, wut?! Meet cam girl Natalie Star and let her explain all.

Much like fashion, porn moves in trends. Right now, cam girls are big. But the next big thing seems to be VR porn and wearable tech. Soon, you won’t be watching porn, you’ll be in it. Or at least that’s what your easily tricked mind will think. Nerds didn’t use to be the kings of sex, but these days, the tech world has learned sex sells. Just this week, designers announced a new product you can use to charge your devices. And you power it by masturbating. See? Geeks are taking a page from the Mia Khalifa handbook, they’re making sex work for them.

Instagram/MiaKhalifa1

Instagram/MiaKhalifa1

Hey, Mia!, you looking good! You just keep doing you, gurl!

This week, we took a trip through time and revisited the free-swinging sexy Sixties with porn legend, Dian Hanson, as she talked about her new book, having sex on acid, why America loves Oprah’s ass, and the undeniable eye-appeal of a natural woman. The sexy throwback pics feel like a pot of gold at the end of a psychedelic Skittles rainbow of pleasure.

Okay, you may be Fifty Shades of Bored with all the talk of BDSM these last few weeks. But then along comes this video of Abigail Ratchford and suddenly a trip to the sex shop sounds like the perfect place to stop on the way home. She has a way of inspiring imaginations.

At the moment, America is busy legalizing weed state by state. Which is upsetting to some conservative dinosaurs in this country. Meanwhile, other countries are also getting their governments out of the business of legislating morality. For instance, there’s Korea. They just legalized adultery. Suddenly, a little pot doesn’t look like the end of the world, does it?

Speaking of the end of the world, this week a dude down in Oklahoma got court-ordered protection from his girlfriend after she tried to separate him from his manhood. The story goes: after a night of drinking, boyfriend and girlfriend got into a fight. He said she was “too needy.” She got upset. He passed out. When he woke up his girlfriend was trying to bite his dick off.

We’ll let the guy explain, “Went to sleep in the living room. She went to bed. I woke up to her assaulting me and trying to bite my penis off… Then she hit me over my head with a laptop.” Damn, homie. So, what did this dude do with his half-bitten off dick? “I ran out to call my mother & went to the hospital.”

Hold up! Your girlfriend tries to chomp your dick like a ballpark hotdog and your first thought is to call your mother? That must’ve been a fun conversation… “She did what?! Oh, honey, I never liked her. You need a woman who isn’t going to try to eat your dick. I know some nice girls at my church and I don’t think they’d try to gobble your johnson…”

We can’t believe we have to say this but … dicks aren’t for eating! You’re supposed to celebrate them, and take pictures with them in giant outdoor festivals… well, that’s what they do in Greece anyways.

And that’s all the sexiness we like to call This Week In Sex … keep it sexy!



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