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This Week In Sex: Hot Women of Instagram To Warm Up Your Winter

This Week In Sex: Hot Women of Instagram To Warm Up Your Winter:

Thank the sweet lord for the butt above, because for most of this week all we heard was… Dick. Dick. Dick. It seemed like everywhere you turned someone wanted to talk about dick. There was that viral infographic that showed how big dicks are by country. Then there was the article about how that’s all rubbish, and it showed how big dicks are according to science. There was also that woman who wanted to teach men how to take better pics of their dicks. But our favorite was the story of the woman who divorced her husband because his dick was too big. (Yes, too big.)

As far as dick size goes, any scientist or sex worker worth their stripes will tell you the same thing: judging the dicks of one country versus another says more about your intelligence than it does about the dicks. So, don’t be a racist dick … or a racist about dicks, like, this guy:

But, enough about dick… Let’s talk about balls! Here’s a handy little state-by-state guide that explains how much your balls are worth across America. Let’s just say if anything happens to your balls, you want it to happen in Illinois.

You know how they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas? Well, not so if what happens gets captured on security camera, like, this couple who stayed at the Erotic Heritage Museum after hours and had sex all over the exhibits. The best part: when the security staff got tired of watching them fuck and chased them out. A dude running half-naked through a museum of sex with a boner is always good for a laugh.

Speaking of amateurs who like to get naked on-camera, this week, we learned there’s a Tumblr called the Boobs of Bushwick, and it’s dedicated to hipsters (both women and men) who like to show off their boobs in bars across Brooklyn. It’s hipster’s nipsters.

If you’re a fan of candid boobs, you might really enjoy our behind-the-scenes footage of OSU #librarygirl, Kendra Sunderland, posing for her Playboy shoot. She may be no hipster, but she has our full attention. And so does, tan and lovely Erica Mena, she also posed for us this week. We mena, dayum, gurl!

Erica Mena

You know who also had our full attention? This Danish politician. She may be the hottest woman in politics since Yulia Timoshenko got voted out of office in Ukraine. Which was a major loss for the body politic.

Instagram/Jayden James

Instagram/Jayden James

Wanna spice up your Instagram feed? Might we recommend you follow some of these women, aka the “Hottest Adult Stars on Instagram.” You’re welcome!

Speaking of taking sexy selfies … is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? We only ask because of this new invention. What do you get if you combine a dildo, a vibrator, and a waterproof camera? You get the selfie-dick! Meet the Svakom Gaga the Sex Selfie Stick Camera Vibrator–it’s the latest innovation for the selfie-obsessed. Just don’t try to post any of your new pics on Instagram. Depending on how you look at it, it’s a dildo with a camera at the end. Or, it’s a camera with a dildo wrapped around it. Either way, you can upload the footage to your computer, watch it on your smartphone via FaceTime, and store it on whatever device you like to keep your videos from inside vaginas. If you want to see what life is like for a dick, you can get your own from LoveHoney for 180 bucks.

This week, another sex toy was in the news. It’s called the world’s first bionic dildo. It was invented by Dr. Xtreme, a Yale-trained physicist and founder of Orgasmatronics. So, what’s up, Doc? How does this thing work? “What we’ve done is augmented the strap-on dildo so that it becomes a little more like a body part that has feeling.” Dr Xtreme (not his real name) built a dildo that has a bullet vibrator at the base to pleasure the woman wearing it. “I want to make something people really enjoy—not just my wife or a couple of people, but everybody.“ So, Doc, you like to get pegged by your wife, but you also want her to get off on it when she drills you balls deep? That’s so sweet. As we always say, love is a constant negotiation.

Hey! Speaking of constant negotiations, whatever happened to those rumors of an Iggy Azalea sex tape? Last we heard, the hacker collective Anonymous was threatening to leak it unless she met their demands and “stopped appropriating black culture.” Well, we all know that didn’t happen. Here’s the scoop on her rumored sex tape.

Some weeks, we like to pause to appreciate how much technology has improved the sexiness of the world. Not only do we have bionic strap-ons and vagina selfie sticks, but the camera-phone is still super sexy when it’s used by the right people. Like, for instance, Kathyzworld’s Instagram comes to mind. The bubble butt beauty from Miami sure knows how to use tech to spread sexiness like it’s tropical sunshine.

Instagram/Kathyzworld

Instagram/Kathyzworld

You ever tried to ride a mechanical bull? You ever seen someone try to ride one when they’re drunk? It’s a recipe for hilarious disaster. But what about porn stars riding mechanical bulls. Okay, we’re listening. And now, with a click of a button, we’re watching…

Like Amazon product reviews, Yelp reviews of businesses are some of the best reading online. This week, Jezebel curated the best/worst reviews of clubs. And we don’t mean nightclubs, we mean sex clubs, strip clubs, BDSM dungeons, and swingers clubs. The results are predictably hilarious, like this gem of understatement from a review of a southern strip joint:

“Everyone here is pregnant, a prostitute, and/or a drug addict.”

Maybe it’s us, or maybe it’s Maybelline, but it seems like strip clubs were big in the news this week. First, we had Wiz Khlalifa drop a verse on a new diss track, making fun of his ex, the supremely sexy Amber Rose. Wiz didn’t mention her by name but he did call out strippers, hoes and Instagram. We think you can do the math.

You know what no rapper ever says about strip clubs? They’re a great place to get shot. In fact, just this week, in the news, we saw there were shootings outside a strip club in Miami, San Francisco, Mount Vernon, El Paso, Los Angeles, and Tampa. Up in Grand Junction they still like to do it the old fashioned way–a man got stabbed instead of shot.

Did you hear the good news! Sex keeps you young, specifically, your mind. As reported by the Wall Street Journal, recent research has found that sexy seniors are far sharper than their no-sex-having peers. As the WSJ put it, seniors “who didn’t see the importance of sexual behavior or a need for intimacy, and who considered their current sexuality unimportant and their sex life unpleasant, had lower average cognitive scores.” It’s like we’ve always said sex keeps you young and makes you smarter.

Of course, not all sex makes you smarter. For instance there’s Melody Lippert and Michelle Ghirelli. The reason you’re reading their names is they met high school students for an overnight camping trip, shared alcohol with the underaged boys, and then had sex with them. The problem was one woman is a teacher and the other is a school administrator. The best line from the LA Times reporting had to be: “The two women are suspected of having sexual relations with the students during that trip, which was not sponsored by the school.” No, we don’t imagine it was.

That’s all the sexiness we like to call This Week In Sexkeep it sexy!



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