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This Week In Sex This Week In Sex

This Week In Sex: A Championship Body

What a sexy week!

The NBA Playoffs are about to get underway, and Klay Thompson’s Golden State Warriors could win it all, provided he’s not too distracted by his smoke show girl Hannah Stocking.

Hannah Stocking ... swish

Hannah Stocking … swish

Here’s proof that not all news stories involving cops are tragic. Did you hear about the police officer who wears a size 32JJ bra and used her boobs to win a lingerie contest? The pics she snapped of herself in just a bra and panties sure make us hope she considers a second career as a lingerie model. She’s way too sexy to waste her curves keeping the peace. She should be raising pulses. The good way.

Hey, look, we rounded up Mia Khalifa’s hottest Intagram pics so you wouldn’t have to. You’re welcome.

At the moment, pop culture is blessed with an embarrassment of sexy blondes. It’s kind of like Hef once said, “Picasso had his pink period and his blue period. I am in my blonde period right now.”

charlotte-mckinney-bra

First up, we have Charlotte McKinney. Guess made the brilliant choice of featuring her as the new face and curves for its line of lingerie. She looks so damn good in her underwear, she reminds us of a line from the Raymond Chandler murder mystery, Farewell, My Lovely. “It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.”

Second, let’s take a moment to enjoy the beauty of another blonde who’s murderously sexy. Seriously, she’s straight killing the game. Kate Upton took a break from promoting empire-building video games long enough to add some of her brand of sex appeal to a Vogue photoshoot.

Third, we have the two unlikely blonde bombshells: Amy Schumer and Amber Rose. That’s right! Our favorite bubble butt with the blonde buzzcut showed up on Schumer’s rap track, and together the two blondes dropped the new big booty anthem, “Milk, Milk, Lemonade*.” Somehow, the song is both hilarious and sexy at the same damn time.

And here’s another timeless blonde, a woman who’s been pushing the boundaries of sexy since the 1980s.

madonna-nekkid

Our May issue of Playboy features rare pics from photographer Martin H.M. Schreiber. Back in 1979 he snapped a collection of nudes of a pre-fame Madonna. And if you want more pics of the Material Girl, you can check ‘em here.

Long before Madonna there was another frisky, flirty blonde who posed for some risque nudes. Her name is Betty White. Yes, that Betty White. The Golden Girl dropped her dress and let her shine be seen way back in the day. And now you can peep her old school sexiness for yourself.

“you boys can keep your virgins
give me hot old women in high heels
with asses that forgot to get old.”

― Charles Bukowski, Love is a Dog from Hell

So, um, did you hear about the Japanese game show that features men competing by singing karaoke while a woman gives the dude a handjob? The show is on regular television in Japan. Wrap your head around that - so to speak.

What do you do if you’re horny but not gifted in the height department? Do you have to only go for short girls? What’s a man to do when he feels “too short to date?” This week, Just the Tips offered some damn good advice if you’re looking for love, or maybe, just some ass.

Good news from up in the club: thanks to the photographer, Kirill Was Here, the meme of girls getting champagne facials is now a thing. Check Playboy.com in coming weeks for an exclusive Krill/Playboy joint, yo.

kirill was here

If you’re not at Coachella but really want to see what you’re missing, we’ve got the pics that matter. That’s right, we shot a gallery of the Hottest Girls From Coachella.

This is … something: a Taiwanese woman hired strippers to dance at her husband’s funeral. It was just like he would’ve wanted it. If you were wondering what song she picked for her husband’s final lap dance? It was Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5. (We guess, she didn’t want him to enjoy it too much.)

You know what people rarely ask a woman? “Would you please draw a picture of your ideal penis?” Now, to be clear, “your ideal penis” is not what penis she would want if she were to get a dick of her own, rather, it’s what the “ideal penis” would be for her pleasure. These women set pen to pad to render their idea of a sexy penis.

If they made a sex toy that guaranteed women an orgasm “every time” would you buy it? Well, boy, have we got good news for you! There’s a new female condom that makes that exact claim. According to test results from 50 couples, 70 percent of women reached orgasm the first time they used the female condom, and 100 percent of women were screaming into the sheets by the fourth time they used it. Here’s the link. Don’t know about you, but we’re looking forward to conducting our own tests.

Right now, we’ve been enjoying the kiss of springtime. But we’re already looking forward to the single-string sexiness of summertime. So, here’s a carefully curated collection of bikini pics that show the world from a woman’s POV … as she appreciates the beauty of her own body.

sexy from a woman

Here are a couple other interesting views of the world from a woman’s perspective. We published the confessions of a woman who’s addicted to x-rated videos. And here’s an interview with a professional submissive - a woman who gets paid to be dominated by men.

Also, this week, there was that one woman whose husband accused her of cheating on him and sleeping with the whole Wu-Tang clan. Yes, the whole clan: RZA, GZA, Inspektah Deck, U-God, Raekwon the Chef, Ghostface Killah and M-e-t-h-o-d Man! But according to her:

Basically what happened is I met Wu-Tang , I got on their tour bus, I went back to the hotel and I was just hanging out ALL NIGHT. And it was amazing, I mean, we were not doing anything but talking, politicking, we were talking about politics.

Just like her husband, we all have to take her word for it. The Wu swears she’s telling the truth. Maybe she is. One thing we all know is true…

wu-tang-clan-aliens-guy-meme

In other important news, the Ranker community ranked the hottest UFC Wives and Girlfriends, and they will armbar anyone who does not agree with them.

Before you go, to send you on your way with a grin, here are gifs of women trying to squeeze all dat ass into their jeans. The struggle is real.

Until next time… keep it sexy!


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