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This Week In Sex: Charlotte, Paris, and Amber Rose

This Week In Sex: Charlotte, Paris, and Amber Rose:

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Doesn’t matter what you call them … breasts are awesome! This week, we invented a super sexy new way to appreciate a big, beautiful pair of Quebec Face-warmers. We call it #WideBoobWednesday. (Yeah, we think it’s a pretty genius idea, too.)

All winter, she turned heads with her naked, all-natural burger ads. Now, in time for spring, we just shot a new vid for you of Charlotte McKinney as she pushes a bikini to its natural limit… yeah, man, what are you waiting for? And hey, when you get done watching that, because we like you, here’s a bonus vid of her practicing her moves for Dancing With the Stars. Mmmm… dancing.

Hey, real question: does anyone know when libraries became the new sexiest spot in town? Like, wtf? Recently, a second woman showed off her sexy goodies on a webcam in a library. Some folks call her a copycat, but if another woman does it, we’re gonna call this a trend–and then we’re gonna go get a new library card.

Speaking of cam girls, this week, on our brand new Sex & Culture podcast, we interviewed Natalie Star, the cam model and sex-trepreneur. From the art world, we spoke with Stefan Simchowitz. He’s a renegade art dealer with a salty reputation and a prickly tongue. It all made for one hell of a sexy and cultured podcast.

Instagram/AmberRose

Instagram/AmberRose

Keeping her name in the news, our gurl, Amber Rose returned to her former stomping grounds–a strip club. On Monday night, she and her girlfriends overheated men’s minds at the club Ace of Diamonds in Hollywood. Amber and her bff Blac Chyna shared the stage and nearly set off the fire alarms. Luckily for you, there’s video of the twerking girls working it out.

We doubt either woman would think they’re similar, but Amber Rose and one of our favorite writer/comedians, Playboy’s own, Sara Benincasa, have a lot in common. This week, Sara wrote about her experiences getting naked on the Internet. We want to share this quote from her because we could not agree more:

I am not a punk, but sometimes when making an important decision, I ask myself what the most punk rock move would be. And I have decided that for a woman of my size, exposing my own body is, to put it in formal terms, punk as fuck.

Not only is it punk af … it’s also sexy af. We love your attitude, Sara. In the vid below, you can catch her interview with Donald Glover. Yes, they’re both sitting in a bathtub, sipping cocktails. Our fave moment is when Childish Gambino drinks Sara’s bathwater. (You just have to watch.)

The first thing people forget about sexiness is that it’s not about size, it’s not about shape, it’s not about measurements–it’s about attitude. That’s why sexiness is timeless. Speaking of, guess who turns 40 later this year. Kate Winslet. (Yeah, kinda shocked us, too.) But honestly, she’s looking as sexy as she was on Titanic. Age ain’t nothing but a number, gurl.

You know who celebrated his birthday this week? Robin Thicke. As you probably know, the singer had a rough week. He lost 7.4 million dollars (for being a mediocre talent who stole sexy from Marvin Gaye). But apparently Thicke still has enough loonies left (that’s Canadian money) to pop corks of bubbly and drown his sorrows as he watched a naked woman roll around in a hamster ball while strippers shimmied and shook their jiggly bits.

Speaking of faked sexiness, it wasn’t the best faux-gasm we’ve ever seen, but you’ve gotta hand it to Paris Hilton for playing along in front of hundreds of strangers. She was in Vegas, partying, when she was called up on stage to perform as part of her cousin’s bachelorette party. If you ask us, this is not the first orgasm Paris has faked.

But if you ask her, as TMZ did, Paris says she doesn’t know how to fake an orgasm, she’s never faked one, since she’s a virgin. Hmmm. D’you smell that?

Imagine if Paris took her fake-ass orgasm game to one of those chic exclusive New York sex parties where the guests have to fill out an in-depth questionnaire and be approved before they can fuck anyone. Because nothing says sexy like filling out an in-depth questionnaire.

You know what you rarely hear about but may become a sexy new trend? Vagina weightlifting. (Yes, that’s a real thing. How else does a woman train her pussy to shoot ping-pong balls across a room?) According to sex coach, Kim Anami, “most women are walking around with fairly numb vaginas,” since they never give them a good workout. Which also affects their sex life. Apparently, if a woman lifts weights with her vagina for just five minutes a day, for a week, she’ll have a noticeably stronger grip. Don’t believe us? Peep the vid below of women learning how to become, as Anami puts it, “a well-fucked woman.”

Is there a word for those kinky people who like to travel to have sex in Muslim countries at major tourist destinations? Wait, that isn’t something lots of people do? Huh. Maybe someone should tell that to this anonymous Russian woman who was galavanting around the pyramids in Egypt, flashing tit, and blowing the cameraman who was recording her sex tourism.

For this next story, you may want to sit down. Did you hear about the dude who broke his penis by mashing his dick into his partner’s perineum? (That’s the scientific word for the taint.) Yeah, the dude heard his dick pop like a dry twig. The good news is, although he could’ve lost functionality and been left with a permanently limp dick, he got lucky. Doctors saved his boner. But, hey, that could be you. So, let’s be careful out there. Respect the taint!

And speaking of respect, we’ve got nothing but mad respect for the sexy artistry of female cosplayers. It’s where imagination meets sensation. From this week’s round-up of the sexiest cosplayers on the Internet, we were particularly impressed with the work of Yaya Han. Not only is she sexy as sin on a Saturday night, she’s talented af.

image courtesy of YayaHan.com

image courtesy of YayaHan.com

Another person whose artistry we respect is the inimitable Sam Cooke. The late great soul singer, was sexy, was passionate, and he made the air hum with the promise of release. Don’t believe us? Take a listen.

How crazy would it be if the world was run on love and couples rarely got divorced? Well, according to data compiled from the game The Sims 4, this is exactly what’s happening online. After analyzing 107 million hours of gameplay, data points emerged. Like, 2% of Sims get divorced. In America, it’s 53%. Interestingly, simulated people had four times more sex than IRL married couples. Maybe it’s because they know what buttons to push…in the game.

Finally, in the world of sexy science comes a story about a load of fascist semen. As a scientific first, forensic experts in Italy have reconstructed the DNA of proto-fascist war hero Garbriele D’Annunzio. The best part is how they did it. They used modern crime scene tech to discover the semen on a jizz-soaked handkerchief the fascist poet/war hero had left as a souvenir for a lover after a night of passion. The lead for the forensic experts joked that in the future great historical figures of the past could be cloned from such a technique. That’s just what the future needs politicians cloned from semen-stained clothing. Somewhere, right now, Bill Clinton is smiling, thinking of a blue dress, and all his possible future clones.

That’s all the sexiness that we like to call This Week In Sexkeep it sexy!



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