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This Week in Sex: Lisa Ann and Her 18-Year-Old Boo

This Week in Sex: Lisa Ann and Her 18-Year-Old Boo:

Notre Dame freshman wide receiver Justin Brent won this week in sex with news he’s dating ultimate cougar 42-year-old porn star Lisa Ann. A close runner-up is New York whose new photos of OG Playmates—from Miss March 1954 to Miss January 1979—showed the world that some things get better with age. (And we usually only read New York for the articles.)

On the opposite end of the age spectrum, some tween feminists “dropped F-bombs” in a mockery of princess dresses and an attention-grabbing PSA for FCKH8.com.

Planned Parenthood thinks it’s time we all Get Real about who really needs comprehensive sex education. This new program designed for middle school students has already been shown to delay its participants from becoming sexually active.

It’s possible this will contribute to the epidemic of bad college sex, as chronicled by The Cut. Remember, emerging adolescents: practice makes perfect.

Once you’ve mastered your sex game, up your text game – especially if you’re in a relationship. A data nerd analyzed all the texts she and her husband ever sent each other. The results aren’t shocking: from hot and heartfelt to dismal and domestic. Less sexting. More scheduling.

Oakland, California’s city council unanimously passed a bill that allows landlords to evict sex workers from their buildings. Let’s get this straight: Does that include dungeons? And where will Silicon Valley bros go to get laid?. They’ll probably just keep beating off to pics of dude’s asses on Reddit thinking it was cleavage (which happened this week).

Although Cinemax ditched its soft-core porn programming last year, the new lawsuit against actress Anne Greene proves the network’s Skinemax nickname is as true as ever. The production company behind Cinemax’s show Femme Fatales is suing Greene for breaching her contract’s “Nudity Rider.” Greene claims she didn’t know nude scenes would be expected…after signing on to a Cinemax show called Femme Fatales.

A 70-year old Japanese man deposited 17 bags of porn in the Osaka Park where he usually volunteers with the homeless. He claims he was getting rid of the porn for a sick friend. For a friend, eh?

Our new friend The New Inquiry gave us a cultural analysis of cocksucking. Thanks, friend. Meanwhile, Vice filled us in on how cautious British men are with their cum.

In other countries that speak English, Australian scientist John Long discovered the planet’s original sex act and in doing so confirmed the accuracy of the phrase “boning.” Over 385 million years ago, in a Scottish loch, a male fish put his sex organ (a “bone with a strange groove on it") into a female fish.

So it seems we literally started (f—ing) from the bottom, now we’re here. And people have been obsessed with sex ever since.

One last thing: Renee Zellweger got a facelift. But who gives a fuck?


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