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This Week In Sex: Meet Ashley Graham the Super-Sized Super-Sexy Swimsuit Model

This Week In Sex: Meet Ashley Graham the Super-Sized Super-Sexy Swimsuit Model:

She’s got the look that’s so impressin’
She’s got the poise that’s so refreshin’
So round, so firm, so fully packed, that’s my gal
—Merle Travis, 1947

Every February, just after the Super Bowl, and before Valentine’s Day, Sports Illustrated warms up the winter with a bevy of bikini-clad beauties posing on beautiful beaches. They call it their annual Swimsuit Edition. This year, the magazine really got the Internet talking. Why? They selected their first plus-size model to appear between the covers!

Meet 27-year-old Ashley Graham. Or as we like to call her Ashley Gawd-Dayum! The girl’s got more curves than a rally-car race. She proves that it ain’t the pounds that make a woman sexy – it’s all about dat attitude.

Now, before we leave the world of sports … did you see, this week, a girl was banned from all the bars in Boston? Bet we know what you’re thinking. What could someone possibly do to get 86’d from every drinking spot in a city whose motto should be: “Oh yeah? Fuck you and your mutha!” Her unforgivable foul: she banged the Patriots’ Super Bowl star Julian Edelman … and then posted a pic of him sleeping and bragged about it on Tinder! What can we say? Boston takes their sports very seriously. And apparently, the whole town hates a snitch. Or as any true Masshole would put it:

But hey, no one complained in New Zealand when a whole bar of people watched a couple have sex in an office across the street. Which just goes to show … New Zealand is way sexier than Boston.

You know another place that’s sexier than Boston? Russia. Or at least it was this week thanks to a team of professional ass-popping twerkers. (Yes, in Russia there are teams of professional twerkers.)

This week, model Gigi Hadid shared the secret to how she fills out her bikini. “Survey says … Spaghetti!” Well, technically, she said pasta. Which is the same secret Sophia Loren credited for her curves. Maybe, skip the Thai spot tonight and take your gurl out for Italian. Apparently, that shit’s magic.

Speaking of magic, in case you ever wanted to see Keira Knightley have an orgasm, thanks to the magic of the Internet, we can make that dream come true. (Pardon the pun.)

There was a lot of talk of magic this week. It was like a seven-day-long Harry Potter movie marathon. Except, the movie everyone was talking about was the trailer for Magic Mike XL. If you hated hearing all about it from your girlfriend (or you grandmother), Bustle did some figuring of their own, and they realized that when Channing Tatum used to strip professionally …. you were probably in middle school. Whoa! Now, the movie feels properly greasy … just like a real male stripper.

Okay, everyone knows that Fifty Shades of Grey is about to drop. It’s one of the most anticipated movies since images were put to celluloid. Everyone and your rabbi is expected to see this movie. One week before the movie opens … guess who had an exclusive sneak preview scene. That’s right! The Today Show. Which makes perfect sense. Because when you imagine kinky sex, you probably think … Al Roker. (Right? Who doesn’t?)

Riding that same bondage gravy train, Audi just released a Fifty Shades of Grey parody ad … and it’s surprisingly funny. (How come no one told us Germans could be funny?)

Before Fifty Shades of Grey came along and reinvented how sexy an American film could be, there were others who pushed the edge of what could be shown in a mainstream movie. This week, Indiewire compiled a list of the sexiest scenes ever put to film. We strongly recommend you Netflix all of them, especially, number one: The Last Tango In Paris. You’ll never look at a stick of butter the same.

In case you missed it, to help you get in the mood for Valentine’s Day, actress, Emily Ratajkowski, starred in a sexy lingerie ad for… um … sorry, what were we saying? We’re going to go watch the video again and maybe it’ll come back to us.

Another video from this week that was particularly inspiring, was this video compilation of 30 sexy women wearing the hell out of some yoga pants. Namaste, everybody! We’ve finally achieved nirvana.

Four months ago, Mila Kunis had a baby. Right now, she has a new movie coming out. This week, those two aspects of her life converged on late night TV when she admitted to Conan O’Brien that since she’s become a mother she can’t deal with her new mom boobs. We’d just like to say … don’t worry, Mila. They’re spectacular.

Did you hear about this new first-person shooter game? Instead of gunning fools down, you go around and you shoot kisses at your enemies, and instead of killing opponents, if you “shoot” them enough, they get naked. We haven’t played it, but this may be our new favorite video game.

Speaking of naked … guess who went full-frontal nude (again) this week! Yep. North West’s mom. (This time she did it for Love, how sweet.) Seriously, we haven’t seen this much naked Kim K since Ray J was in the mix. (Sorry, Yeezus.)

And we’re about to see even more of Kim soon, this time in book form. Like Monica Lewinsky before her, Kim K is about to become a published author, by “writing” a book of her selfies. It’s like an Instagram that you can buy. But don’t listen to us, let Kim explain, “I’m going to make some super-racy. I mean every girl takes full pictures of their ass in the mirror… I might share some of them.” She already broke the internet. Will this book break Barnes & Noble?

This week, there were some odd news stories involving strippers. And, would you believe it? Neither was from Florida! One was arrested after she attacked her clients for giving her such small tips. (And they say size doesn’t matter.) But in crazier news, a stripper was arrested for being naked. Wait—what? Isn’t that her job? Well, as it turns out she was outside the club. And we swear this did not happen in Florida! (It happened next door, in Georgia.) She says her boss locked her outside without any clothing. #Rude! Perhaps he was looking for free advertising.

And that’s … all the sexiness that’s fit to print in This Week In Sexkeep it sexy! And let Merle guide you into the weekend.


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