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This Week In Sex: Vagina Beauty Pageants, A New Kind of Facial, and Miley Licks A Charity

[**Instagram/Viki_Odintcova**](https://instagram.com/p/7keXaglmzj/?taken-by=viki_odintcova)

Instagram/Viki_Odintcova

We’re knee-deep into November. And it’s starting to feel a bit wintery. Now that the light has grown short, and the nights are cold, old poems begin to ring true.

“November always seemed to me the Norway of the year.”

–Emily Dickinson

Meet Viki Odintcova She comes to you from Russia… with love.

We believe it was the great American poet, Axl Rose, who said it best when he sang:

“When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain.”

–Guns N’ Roses, November Rain

Sometimes you need some motivation to hold your candle in the cold November rain. Like, a helping hand, in the form of her tan and lovely sexiness.

🐵 #Vikiodintcova #MAVRIN #MAVRINmodels

A photo posted by Viki Odintcova (@viki_odintcova) on

Since Viki’s from Russia, she gets it. She knows what you’re going through. Let her help ease you into these suddenly dark evenings of late autumn–the ones we linger in before the rush of the holidays. Don’t you want to linger awhile with Viki in her lingerie?

G O O D N I G H T 😈 #Vikiodintcova #MAVRIN #MAVRINmodels #Italy

A photo posted by Viki Odintcova (@viki_odintcova) on

Viki’s so damn sexy she looks like her skin would be warm to the touch.

Workflow 😈 #Vikiodintcova #MAVRIN #MAVRINmodels

A photo posted by Viki Odintcova (@viki_odintcova) on

Think we can all agree that as the air takes on a chill it sucks if you have to sleep alone. But it happens. It even happens to folks we least expect, like huge Hollywood stars. This week, Jennifer Lawrence complained about her recent dry spell. It’s hard for her to find a guy who isn’t intimidated by her success. In typical J-Law style, she told Vogue her panties have stayed dry for so long she feels like her “hymen is growing back.”

Meanwhile, our gurl Miley Cyrus continues to treat objects like people. This week, she was at an LGBT charity. To raise money for the cause, our favorite pop provacateur licked a piano. Once it had been blessed by the sexiness of her saliva, that piano was suddenly worth $50K. Now, check this collection of Miley’s sexiest gifs because, like we said, it’s cold out there.

Glowing like a champagne supernova, Salma Hayek was out here in Los Angeles this week, and she turned the red carpet into a runway show of her ageless sexiness.

We told you last week that Victoria’s Secret filmed its lingerie show. Well, images are already being leaked. Like, Selena Gomez was spotted baring lots of bod. And some of the lingerie models posted sexy, half-nude, behind-the-scenes shots. Victoria is not good at keeping her secrets.

Wednesday was Veteran’s Day. ICYMI, we gave a special salute to Shannon Irhke, the sexiest Marine this side of Camp Pendleton. Here at the Bunny, we’re grateful to all you veterans for your commitment to protect America, and for how you ensure our freedoms. We couldn’t be as sexy as we are… without you. We wanted to spread some of the sexiness you make possible, so the Playmates held an event to say thank you to all veterans for your service. They hugged a lot of happy vets.

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And then there’s this adult film star. She took it a step farther. She offered to fully service any servicemen for free for Veteran’s Day. Boom! For real. Basically, she threw a party in her mouth, only she had no idea how many would be coming. We’re guessing she met a boatload of seaman.

This week, a legend in the sex industry passed away. San Francisco-based stripper Carol Doda died at age 76. The blonde bombshell was a legendary dancer. She made silicone-injected breasts a thing. But, far more than just her eye-catching chest, she was an icon of sexiness, a woman who helped push our society forward so we can all enjoy a sexier life.

These days, if we ask you to imagine a provocative woman who’s famous for appearing on a strip club stage, you might think of… Amber Rose. Well, this week, Amber was at it again, up in the club, laying hands all over the dancers. And reportedly, she hopped up on stage and shook her moneymaker. You can check it for yourself:

Amber Rose may not be your favorite celebrity. She may not be a woman you find particularly sexy. Maybe you never peep her Instagram for a hit of midday sexiness. We get it. It’s one of those different strokes for different folks kind of a thing. But, let’s say you had to judge which celebs do have the sexiest Instagram accounts. Who would you pick? To get you started, here are our picks for the straight-up sexiest celebrity Instagram accounts.

Speaking of, if you’re looking to add some sexy to your feed, might we recommend Playmate of the Year, Dani Mathers. Dani’s so damn hot if you were lost in the woods you could use her Instagram account to start a campfire. For real.

Fun shoot day in Laguna💪🏼@FittySmallz #thundathighs

A photo posted by Dani Mathers (@missdanimathers) on

But maybe you’re hardcore and you wish Instagram allowed full nudity. Well, you’re in luck. Meet Uplust, the new social media app for those who want the freedom to post full nudity. If you can believe it, they report that half their users are female. (For instance, we checked it and first thing we saw was a fully nude woman who had inserted a toilet brush into herself and was displaying it like a frontside tail.) We don’t recommend you check Uplust on the subway.

Nor do we recommend you publicly watch this NSFW vid of the world’s first-ever vagina beauty pageant. You read that correctly. A vagina beauty pageant. (There was no word on whether or not there would be a talent competition.) You may be wondering: Who would host a vagina beauty pageant? The inventor of Auto-Blow, the vibrating masturbation sleeve that’s shaped like a woman’s mouth. That’s who!

In other beauty pageant news, this week, Suzy Cortez was named Miss BumBum for 2015. Every year, down in Brazil, they throw an ass-shaking, booty-clapping beauty pageant designed to determine the phattest ass in Brazil. It’s the kind of competition we can get behind.

But now, we’re curious… Who do you think would win in an international booty competition? We all know Brazil has a reputation for having the best booties in the world. Yet, these days, even Russia boasts some of the best butts on the planet. Like, the perfect bubble of Miss Anastasiya Kvitko.

Usually, we tend to think women who live where it’s cold could never compete with those beautiful tan booties that shine in the heat down on the beaches of Brazil… but Instagram has proven that beautiful butts blossom all over this world. And in places you wouldn’t imagine, like, Sweden. We all know the Best Butt in Scandinavia belongs to the Swedish Unicorn… Ines Helene.

The unicorn strikes again 😋😂😂

A photo posted by Ines Helene (@ini.helen) on

It may be time for the Miss BumBum competition to go international. In the spirit of the United Nations, the Olympics, and world peace, we need to create an annual ass pageant to crown the greatest booty in the world. It could feature nations competing like the World Cup. It could be the Butt Cup.

This week, defending America’s claim as the home of great asses, the bruntte bombshell Abigail Ratchford recreated Kim Kardashian’s famous naked ass champagne booty shot that broke the internet. It was all part of a sexy photoshoot for Abigail’s 2016 calendar. It’s November, but 2016 is already looking to be a great year.

But, enough about those beautiful bubbles… Let’s go back upstairs and appreciate a woman who’s known not only for her splendid breasts, but also for her abundant creativity. This week, in an exclusive interview, world-famous cosplayer Yaya Han told Playboy about sexy nerds and why she feels confident and desired when she shows some skin.

Beauty blogger. Okay, already that sounds like trouble. This week, one of those curious creatures shared with the world her secret for keeping her skin creamy and soft. She moisturizes her face with semen. We don’t mean those men in the Navy. We mean… spunk, jizz, skeet, pearls for a necklace, the old man’s oyster sauce. And, oh by the way, this beauty blogger’s not some 22-year old in a dorm room who’ll say whatever the hell to hustle some extra money for her YouTube channel. The semen facial advocate is a dignified English mother of two. Naturally, the Internet told SemenFace that she’s an idiot. And, in fact, slathering your face with jizz will not fight acne or erase wrinkles, and it’s been proven to be a very bad idea. But in case you don’t believe that Tracy Kiss and her semen facial are real, here she is to explain it for herself. (At around 12:30 she wipes “man moisturizer” on her problem areas.)

Moving on, let’s get back to something that’s truly sexy. Have you met the unstoppable blonde beauty, Alysson Holt? Do you have trouble with wandering eyes? You know, the kind that love to wander from a woman’s gaze to steal a glance or five at her cleavage? You can practice your eye contact by trying to ignore the sweet temptation of Alysson Holt’s eye-pleasing cleavage.

So excited to see #Madonna tonight in #Vegas!!!

A photo posted by Alysson Holt (@alyssonholt) on

Now, if you’re looking to add a little more sexiness to your IG feed, be sure to check Michael Oliveri’s account And yes, we know that’s a guy’s name. But he’s a photographer. And he’s the lucky bastard who gets to snap pics of generously-shaped sex symbols like Jordan Carver, Dolly Castro, and Lindsey Pelas. His whole feed is this relentless stream of sexy beauties.

This week, we learned all about underground lap dance parties. Apparently, they’re popping up everywhere like junior high erections. They’re like Uber… but for a strip club.

No one’s going to be paying much attention to Heather’s outfit tonight because where she works is dark, and there’s no stage. Instead, Heather and the other strippers, dressed in cocktail dresses, will mingle with the mostly male guests in a bar-type setting before they pair off and retreat to the single back room designated for dancing. “Dancing” is a loose word. When Heather asked at the interview if dancing skills were required, the response was laughter and, “No.“

Meanwhile, back in the legit sex trade, a British woman wants to move her successful BDSM sex parties from Los Angeles and New York and launch a new series in… wait for it… Nashville! Yes, as in Tennessee. As in, right on the buckle of the Bible Belt. But the best part has to be the name of her clubs. Killing Kittens. (We’re guessing Pounding Pussies must’ve already been taken.)

If you ever wonder what goes down inside a BDSM sex dungeon, get ready to be thrilled. You can visit a dungeon with our very own Yoonj Kim as she explores the world of professional bondage and kink.

Bondage may not be your thing. And if not, that’s totally cool. We always recommend a Baskin-Robbins 31 Flavors of ice cream approach to sexuality. Try it. If you don’t like it, try some more flavors until you find the tastes that taste good to you. This week, Just The Tips offered up some solid advice for those of you who might worry you’re a prude.

Okay, hold up! This moment of sexiness brought to you by… Slawada.

Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm.

Okay, because so many men still suffer from persistent fears about the size of their penis, here’s the latest on what women report are their ideal sizes for a penis. Curious to know what they had to say? Just click.

In totally unrelated dick news, did you hear that the Vatican owns “the largest gay sauna in Europe?” It appears that Vatican insiders, looking to embarrass the liberal Pope, have leaked news to the press that the Catholic Church owns a building that houses a sauna that’s a famous hookup spot for gay sex. Ignoring the easy priest jokes, we just want to know: Who measures the largest gay saunas in Europe? Is that by customers, or are we talking square footage? Like, do they announce each year a new Top Ten list of the largest gay saunas in Europe?

All jokes aside, thanks to public sex in bathhouses, hookup sex was stigmatized as risky and dirty during the early days of the AIDS scare. And now, that persistent stigma regarding the transmission of STIs, like HIV, seems to have frozen our imaginations in the 1980s. In fact, if you ask, most people wildly overestimate their risks of STIs. In a new study, when asked to gauge the risk from HIV infection versus the risk of being in a car accident, most respondents were way off in their assessment:

In other words, participants thought that you are roughly 17 times more likely to die from HIV contracted from a single unprotected sexual encounter than you are to die from a car crash on a 300-mile trip.

According to statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the United States National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, you are actually 20 times more likely to die from the car trip than from HIV contracted during an act of unprotected sex.

Of course, there are other forms of risky sex. Like, cheating on your girlfriend or wife. This guy learned that the hard way when he cheated, and his girl found out; she went ballistic, and spray-painted his truck with the message: this dude got his side chick pregnant. Man, that’s like divorce and a car crash combined.

Okay, it’s that time. Let’s clear away any stress and get you ready to jump into your weekend with the best butts from Hump Day to wish you a nice day… and a wicked weekend.

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Until next time… keep it sexy!


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