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This Week in Sex: Meet the Oregon Bookworm Who Got Busted for Public Masturbation

This Week in Sex: Meet the Oregon Bookworm Who Got Busted for Public Masturbation:

You ever been in a library and thought to yourself, “Gawd, I sure would love to masturbate right now,” but then you remember you’re in a library so you don’t? No? Well, this week, former Oregon State student, Kendra Sunderland, decided—fuck it—the school library was the perfect place to pull a strip tease and finger herself. So, she did just that … for a half-an-hour.

Okay, so maybe she was really stressed out by exams. Perhaps a little bathroom schlick was forgiveable? Well, not if you post it to a porn site. The video went viral this week; and Sunderland was swiftly arrested.

A less predictable turn of events this week was Megan Trainor’s unwitting transformation into an advocate for anal-sex education among our nation’s youth. When Kidz Bop 27 attempted to “kidify” Meghan Trainor’s hit “All About That Bass” they took out the word booty and made replacement lyrics sound exactly like “I’m bringing anal back,”. You know when they’re teaching our children about it, 2015 really is the year of the anus.

Speaking of anal surprises, maybe for Valentine’s Day, surprise your girl and get her an ass she can eat. Yes. Like, a sweet chocolate anus. Because nothing says, “I love you,” quite like edible ass candies.

Also appearing this week was everyone’s top Valentine for 2015 Mia Khalifa, who continued her domination of the porn world. This week, she celebrated her reign as the new Porn Queen by posting a vid of her twerking in her bedroom to her brand new theme song. Sure looks like it feels good to be the queen.

Mia was also in the news this week for a radio interview she gave. Asked about her newfound fame and if any celebrities have contacted her, Mia threw some major shade. Guess what dude tried to slide into her DMs on Instagram? Here’s the hint she gave … his name rhymes with rake. (Yeah, she’s not very good at being discreet.) Mia described Drake’s shirtless selfie game as “cringeworthy.” Which sucks for Drake, cause you would think someone at his level wouldn’t need to use selfies, since everybody knows what he looks like. It’s also a shame for the world—think about what a high-profile Jewish-Muslim couple could do for global affairs right now.

This week, Jezebel offered the world this handy advice, Don’t Be an Idiot at the Strip Club: A Stripper’s Guide. But their how-to was a few days late to save Lady Gaga, who spent the weekend hitting a strip club with her high school besties. Sadly, she didn’t perform. But you know which pop star did perform in a strip club this weekend? Mya. Which left fans wondering: Is Mya a stripper now? Even Bow Wow popped up on her Instagram to ask if she’d turned pro. Mya answered with this life motto: “I am whatever I choose to be when I choose to be it. The joy of life. Live it.” You damn right, Mya. Do you, gurl.

Guess who’s gonna be up in the strip club this weekend? The Feds. Just like how Kelis and her milkshake bring all the boys to the yard, the Super Bowl brings all the pros to the game. And we don’t mean football players. This week, the DHS and strip clubs in Phoenix will be working together to police the prostitutes in town, mostly, to bust sexual predators trafficking illegal and underage sex workers. We hope the Feds like strip club DJs, or it could be a long weekend.

All week-long we’ve been getting ready for the Super Bowl. To help get you primed for the New England-Seattle showdown, here are the sexiest Super Bowl ads … of all time!

You know what sun-kissed blonde caught our full attention this week? Taylor Swift in a bikini. It may be the last week in January, but suddenly, we’re feeling ready for summer.

Last week, we reported on how the Japanese have basically stopped having sex. This week, a Tokyo property developer offered a solution: stripper poles. He’s adding them to living rooms of homes he develops. He’s hoping that a hint of strip club can turn a housewife into a ho.

This week, one of our favorite adult film stars, Belle Knox, announced she plans to remake herself as a Libertarian spokesperson. We’re not surprised—Knox confided in Playboy about her conservative leanings in an interview last year. Since Washington is supposedly Hollywood for ugly people, we sure could use some brains and beauty up in the Beltway.

In other news of a porn star looking to make the world a better place, this week, Mercedes Carrera partnered with the Fine Young Capitalists to offer a STEM scholarship that’s entirely funded with money made from porn. To raise funds for the scholarship, Carrera and five other women, performed on a NSFW webcam stream. Carrera calls her philanthropic effort, “The Porn Charity.” We’re big fans of her idea of … sex education.

Earlier this week, we visited the LA Sexual Health Expo to check in with what’s new and what’s sexy in the world of health. We were happily surprised to discover “a whole new category of men’s arousal.”

Which reminds us of something else we learned this week…

Have you ever looked at a really cute dog, like, super cute … and you think to yourself, “man, I sure would love to … have sex with that dog?” Yeah, no. But you know who just admitted he’s harbored feelings for his four-legged friend? Tom Delonge from Blink-182. The recent media attention on Blink-182’s fucked-up interpersonal dynamics sure make Tom Delonge seem like the kinda guy who’d get ribs removed just so he could suck his own dick. Fun guy.

Shakes the clown

Hey, Florida! Good news! This week, Pennsylvania took one for the team. You’re off the hook. When police arrived at the crash scene, Justine King was still in her 2003 Malibu, with the airbags deployed, her pants off, and her underwear was underneath the pedals. After police asked her to step out of the car, they saw that she “was sitting naked on top of an open empty bottle of Black Velvet liquor.” Obviously, this woman has a drinking problem. She doesn’t even know where the bottle goes.

Last thing … you know how people say there’s someone for everyone? Well, it’s nice to see it happen IRL. Meet Kat Hoffman, the dwarf stripper and her six-foot-four army sergeant boyfriend. Ain’t love grand?

That’s all the sexy that’s fit to print for This Week In Sexkeep it sexy!


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