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This Week In Sex This Week In Sex

This Week In Sex: Rihanna’s Booty, the #ArchThatBackChallenge and Aylen Alvarez

This Week In Sex: Rihanna’s Booty, the #ArchThatBackChallenge and Aylen Alvarez:

Baby, just shake ya ass
till you spread on the floor
I noticed that your ass
too big for your drawers
You need a – a chiropractor
just to marry yo ass
To tell the truth you need a tractor
just to carry yo ass

National Poet Laureate, Busta Rhymes, “Set Your Ass on Fire”

Busta knows. There’s something undeniable about a woman with ample assets. This week, we have good news: an undiscovered genius invented a new way to celebrate the beauty of a booty.

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Seems like every week, or so, there’s a new viral way to spread goodwill and encourage charity. You remember the #IceBucketChallenge? Well, things got heated this week when an unsung genius started an #ArchYourBackChallenge. But, unlike the #IceBucketChallenge, there’s no charity associated with it. The only reason to do it is pure philanthropy: it’s just women sharing some sexy on social media. (However, in our opinion, sexy women tend to make the world a better place.)

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The trend started with this tweet from unsung genius, Twitter user: Ronoo_. Within a half-an-hour it was on WorldStar and that’s when #ArchThatBackChallenge went viral. Soon, lots of beautiful, booty-blessed girls like model Aylen Alvarez were playing along.

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If you don’t know her, you should get to know Aylen Alvarez.

Aylen Alvarez

The Cuban model and all-around fantasy gurl seems fun af. And she’s very healthy.

Of course, lots of peeps on Twitter had opinions about this hashtag. Like, many folks pointed out that all the women who posted pics of their arched backs were competing for second place.

You see, earlier this week, BadgalRiRi already won the booty crown with these super stupid sexy pics of her enjoying her island vacation on Barbados.

RiRi on the islands

This week two of our favorite blonde bombshells, Lindsey Pelas and Jordan Carver strapped in for a very bumpy ride in a very big and badass black truck. Guess what happened next. That’s right! The girls got giggly and jiggly with it.

Lindsey looks like she’s loving it:

And Jordan seems to be having a damn fine time, too:

Keeping our attention on partners-in-crime… Did you hear? They’re making a new Bill and Ted’s movie… as an adult film parody. You know what that means, right? Plenty of…

It should be no surprise that adult film parodies sell well. They provide a touch of novelty to a very familiar formula. Soon, not only will we have adult film stars being “excellent to each other,” but there will also be a Ronda Rousey porn parody about the MMA fighter. The producers should keep in mind when casting the film, Ronda doesn’t like “do nothing bitches.” (And really, who does?)

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Um, dayum! G’morning, Ana!

Have you met Ana Cheri? We have a huge crush on the fitness guru. And we think more people should know about her. We curated this collection of 25 pics that proves she’s a straight lioness… a sexy beast… a queen of the urban jungle.

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One thing we say all the time: it’s important to have a healthy fantasy life.

Well, these lucky people actually got to enjoy theirs. They got to live out their rawest, randiest fantasies. They were real as they come:

I had my first threesome for a milestone birthday a few years ago. I gotta say it was everything I wanted it to be. It involved my wife and a mutual female friend. We videotaped the whole thing too. The whole ordeal lasted about 2 hours. Took a break in between. Best day of my life.

Of course, not all sex fantasies are created equal.

Like, there are also silly, stupid, sexy fantasies. For instance… this one of a guy shooting a girl in her backside with a butt-load of weed. Yeah, we want to see it, too.

Then… there are the more big boy fantasies. You know, like… your wife is banging another dude while you watch. That’s a fully-loaded adult fantasy right there. You ever wondered why some dudes love that one? Well, read on:

But more than anything, I’ve been inundated with tales from men eager to watch their wives or girlfriends take it from other guys. It’s almost always watching without participating, and usually, it’s important that the other guy have a bigger penis. Often, these guys aren’t writing just to share their fantasy; they’re anxious to find out if this desire is “normal” or healthy for an otherwise sexually fulfilled straight guy in a committed relationship.

And there are those epic sexual fantasies, like, for instance, being invited to a Playboy lingerie party. We just threw one that featured a theme of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That led to some mythical sexiness. Wanna see for yourself?

You know who also gets our fully-flowering sexual fantasies to grow wild in our mind?

Carmen Ortega.

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Doesn’t matter if we’re daydreaming about the subtles sexiness of side boob, or the full seduction of her bare ass… she’s just got it like that. But, hey, don’t listen to us. Let Carmen explain why she loves her butt.

What a woman!

Feels like there’s never a bad moment to enjoy those gently curving round mounds of booty. Mother Nature wants us to look. It’s kind of Mother Nature’s thing for us to be horny. It makes the whole crazy parade keep marching. So, let’s all enjoy some booty today. That is, unless, you’re somewhere, like, at a funeral–if you are, put your phone away–otherwise, you’re in luck. Here, enjoy some of the finest butts to bless the Internet.

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It’s very important for you to maintain a robust and active sexual imagination. One never knows what the future holds in store. You want to be ready. Who knows? You might end up in some serious sexual business like an orgy of power brokers in Washington DC.

Off in a corner of the bedroom, Panther Shirt and Bossa Nova are watching and caressing each other. She whispers in his ear, steps into an adjacent bathroom and exits wearing red lingerie. Bossa’s on her knees and starts sucking off Panther, and a circle forms around them. Her curly brown hair bobs to the motion of her neck.

“You guys wanna fluff?” She gives three in the small circle brief blowjobs – me included. Not gonna lie, she’s quite attractive.

“Okay, off you go – fuck her.”

Wow… some guys have sex lives straight out of French cinema. But, you know, maybe that’s not your thing. And that’s cool.

Like, maybe it’s sexier for you if your girl surprises you by wearing booty-huggers like these pixelated panties

Mmmm… an 8-bit booty

You know what’s the most important, and yet, most overlooked, aspect of good sex?

It’s all in your head.

Good sex begins with the story you’re telling yourself. That’s why daydreams and fantasies are so damn important. It’s like a workout of your sexual imagination.

Okay, here are some of the hottest beach pics we could find for you to practice. Get to it! Work out your imagination!

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The health of your sexual imagination is key. A wave of new studies suggests that Millennials are having less sex than Gen X or Baby-boomers did at the same age. Some folks doubt these findings. We don’t know if it’s true or not. Too early to know for sure.

One thing we do know is: there are dudes out there who are looking for fresh new ways to get laid. Like, this guy who thinks social media may be part of our problem. Only, it’s probably not like how you imagine:

If we want to add new friends – some of whom might want to touch our genitals – we need to let go of old friends (even if some of them have touched our genitals).

Working on that same trend, this week, Vanity Fair published a big expose about the ways Tinder and hookup culture are changing how straight men and women interact and have sex. Here’s something that jumped out at us: the girls interviewed said that way too often guys couldn’t stay hard. Now, there are scientific suspicions that all this softness might be the result of endocrine-disruptors in our drinking water. Who knows!

And we all know about whiskey dick, right? That shit happens. But, if you’re not soft because of liquor, often it’s a sign you have a divided mind, that you don’t really want to be having sex–you’re not eager to be in her. Sometimes it’s good to follow your dick. And to remember: it’s all in your head.

Speaking of all in your head, this week, some adult film stars gave lessons in how to give a proper blowjob. You may want to share this, or watch it with whomever you feel could benefit from this. Knowledge is sexy.

For those of you interested in making babies someday, and need healthy sperm, we have some bad news. According to new research, bacon may be killing the quality of your semen. (Sometimes, it’s like, really, Science? Just had to publish that one, huh?)

Did someone say bacon? How about some… Kevin Bacon?! Funny thing, he was just talking about dicks this week. He thinks we need more full-frontal male nudity. The Footloose star thinks we all need to #FreeTheBacon.

“Have you seen Wild Things? I was super naked in that. It was awesome. Matt Dillon was there. He saw my wiener.”

Also, speaking of seeing dicks, apparently, according to science, women don’t really care what your penis looks like. It seems, they barely notice what it looks like.

Unless, we’re talking about this poor dude. His is a cautionary tale that will make all men cringe. This dumb bastard paid a back alley plastic surgeon a thousand bucks to suck “penis filler” out of his previously surgically-modified member. Um, yikes! When the doc was done, the dude was left with… a mutilated one-inch pecker. So, keep this in mind whenever you’re debating having surgery done on your dick by a discount doctor.

Meet Byron Christianoudis. He was busted on the beach… for beating… his meat in public. Trouble is, he’s not a butcher. And can you guess what state he lives in? You know this one.

Yes! The 44-year old Florida resident was masturbating on the beach, when he was discovered by the police, who’d snuck up behind him. According to the perp’s police report, the dude was pleasing himself in public because… wait for it… He said, “My girlfriend was out of town and I miss her.” Awww, isn’t that… well, it’s something all right. But hey, who knows? Maybe he does have a girlfriend, and maybe his girl likes to give him handies down by the seashore.

It’s time to say so long to this week. Let’s get ready for some freakin’ on the weekend. Or maybe fully immerse yourself in a few really good fantasies. Either way, to help you work on the sexual story you tell yourself, here’s a fine collection of booty gifs to get your heart pumping.

Until next time… keep it sexy!



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