Cover Model

The Mysterious Poetic Beauty of Alyssa Arcè

“In your eyes the flames of the twilight fought on.”–Pablo Neruda

When you first catch sight of a woman as striking as July 2013 Playmate Alyssa Arcè, it’s like poetry come to life. In her green eyes she holds the flickering flames of twilight, as Neruda might say. And with her curves she casts a spell of sexiness over your mind, one that will likely last all day. Let us not prattle on; instead admire Alyssa’s mystery and arresting poetic beauty.

We’ve featured shoots with Alyssa before. The results were epic like poetry. And this time, Alyssa posed for photographer Adam Mont. Laid out in retro swimsuits, bathed in afternoon light, check how Alyssa drops some timeless sexiness in her latest photoshoot. Enjoy!

Hard Science

Are We Ready For Another Sexual Orientation?

You meet someone new. You two hit it off. You go back to their place. Things keep going well. But ten minutes into Netflix and chill, they turn to you and say they have a confession. They’re attracted to you because they’re a chronophilia. You play it cool, you nod, but secretly you wonder: Is that a good thing? If you’ve never heard of the term chronophilia, don’t worry. It’s a new word for a recently proposed sexual orientation—one based on age.

Let’s go with a quick review. How many sexual orientations are there? According to sex researchers the most common are heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality, demisexuality, and queer. Heterosexuals are attracted to people from the opposite gender, homosexuals are attracted to people from the same gender, bisexuals are attracted to both, pansexuals are attracted to anyone regardless of gender, asexuals aren’t sexually active, demisexuals respond slowly to sexual attraction, and queer is a catch-all for people resistant to having a sexuality too neatly defined.

Enter psychologist Michael Seto and his new time-based sexual orientation, called chronophilia. Back in October, Justin Lehmiller examined this newly proposed orientation. For instance, if you’ve always been down for cougars and MILFs, you might be a chronophilia. Seto theorizes that beyond gender, some people are deeply attracted to partners of a certain age, and that also should define their sexual orientation.

There are plenty of examples of partners with age divides. Emanmanuel Macron, the new president of France comes to mind. He’s 39 and his wife is 64. Coincidentally, that’s the same age difference that separates Trump and Melania.

But is this sort of age-based attraction really worthy of being a new sexual orientation? Perhaps it’s a sexual taste, no different than being attracted to brunettes, tall people, or people gifted with undeniable thickness. This week, Playboy Contributing Writer Bobby Box makes a strong case that we may not need to recognize chronophilia just yet.

Sex Crimes

Meet the Waitress Who Was Fired For F—king Orlando Bloom

This story is both pretty wack and pretty chill. The 40-year-old star of Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean was dining in London when he met 21-year-old waitress Viviana Ross. After she finished her shift, they relocated to his hotel room for a night of “incredible sex,” according to her. When the sun rose the next day, Bloom had to bounce for an early morning interview. Ross stayed behind in bed, lingering in the memory of her tryst with a well-endowed celebrity and generally resting up after all that “incredible sex.”

That’s when the hotel manager walked in. For reasons that remain unclear, after the hotel manager discovered Ross in Bloom’s bed, the waitress lost her job. One consolation: Bloom was a gentleman about it. When he got word of her dismissal, he phoned her to apologize. What a roller coaster for the waitress; first, she screws a celebrity, then she gets screwed out of her job. But she’s also an actress, so perhaps all this attention will work out for her in the end. It doesn’t hurt that she looks like this…

It’s a beautiful day today ☀️

A post shared by Viviana Ross (@iamvivianaross) on

Never Have I Ever

From Hooking Up in Public to Regretful One-Night Stands

We’ve all had a bad one-night stand. Some of us have endured more than our fair share. So, if you had to tell someone about your most horrific hook-up, do you think you could do it in six words? This week, Vice put that challenge on to readers and the results were priceless. Some favorites:

“Blasted Rammstein CD while we fucked."—Brenda, 36

"Dick was so tiny I laughed."—Janae, 23

"Kept thanking me. Joked about Holocaust."—Nate, 23

Meanwhile, BuzzFeed asked readers about their most awkward experiences hooking up in public. Most of the confessions are pretty good, but this one is something special:

"My fiancée once slept with a preacher’s daughter. One time, they decided to have sex in the balcony of the church…while her father was preaching a sermon on Sunday morning. She came right as her father finished preaching and screamed ‘Oh, god!’ Someone in the audience responded with 'Hallelujah!’”

Amen.

This Week In WTF?!

We Can Do It the Easy Way or We Can Do It the Hard Way

They did it again! People managed to find few new ways to make the rest of us say, “WTF?!”. This week, it was like the world was working with a theme: let’s see what we can do with a dick.

First, up we have this dumbass: Dude starts drinking at noon. By 5 p.m., he’s finished a 12-pack. That’s when his wife catches him looking at porn online. She gets mad. They start to argue. Dude pulls out his gun––remember, he’s 12 beers deep at this point––and he screams at his wife, “If I’m not using it, I might as well shoot it off!”

Convinced by his own drunk logic, he aims his gun at his crotch and…pulls the trigger. Um, WTF, man?! That’s one hell of a leap of logic. “I don’t use my penis…I should shoot off that shit.” And it’s so selfish. Look, buddy, if you’re not using it, maybe donate it to someone who will.

…Like, this guy. Did you hear about the third successful penis transplant in world history? This time, it was a black man. And the donor was a white man. Look, we’re not going to make any of the easy obvious jokes, like, “Well, at least that’s better than having no dick…” That would be messed up. Besides, it won’t be white for much longer. The dude is getting his new member tattooed to match the rest of him. Which sounds painful AF. Can you imagine tattooing the full length of your dick?

Last up, we have another update on the murder trial of the Florida man who claims his girlfriend choked to death on his dick. The dude got off! His dick defense worked. He was acquitted of the charges. This may be one of the most Florida things ever: Man avoids prison by claiming he didn’t kill anyone, his dick did it. Does this mean “the Dick Defense” is now a legal precedent? What’s next?

“Your honor, this wasn’t murder. The victim accidentally drowned in my client’s vagina!”
“Ma'am, you’re free to go.”


Alright, you know what time it is. Let’s shake-off any bit of stress from this week and let our eyes address the full throttle allure of May 2017 Playmate Lada Kravchenko. This lush gallery of her sexiness should def get your mind right for your weekend. Enjoy!