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This Week In Sex This Week In Sex

This Week In Sex: Blondes in Winter Bikinis, Selena Gomez Pool Party and a Bionic Penis

[**Instagram/MilanaYuzhakova**](https://www.instagram.com/p/2qrYlCgaXv/?taken-by=milanayuzhakova)

Instagram/MilanaYuzhakova

“There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. By doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to all things.”

–from Jim Jarmusch’s indie classic, Ghost Dog.

How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you get sideways with someone sexy? Did you wake up somewhere you didn’t expect? It happens. (Just apologize to your friend’s dog for spooning with him.)

We imagine you may have set resolutions for the new year. And, some of you may have already broken those resolutions. Whatever. We’re not here to judge you. Perhaps this year you can set a new resolution, and you resolve that… it’s never sexy to force things. So don’t do that.

This year, be smarter, sexier. This year, let things happen. Make things happen. But don’t force anything. Trust us, women will notice. A confident man isn’t afraid of the rainstorms of life because he knows he can handle them. He also knows that sometimes… it’s good to get wet.

Here’s a sexy reminder for your 2016. Meet Milana Yuzhakova.

💦

A photo posted by Milana Yuzhakova ️️ (@milanayuzhakova) on

See what we mean about wetness being a good thing? It’s all about perspective. But that takes practice. There will be those times when you lose it, like when you meet a beautiful woman, and she looks at you with eyes like Milana’s. How do you keep your cool when she stares at you like this…

Milana’s eyes are hypnotic. It doesn’t matter if she’s dressed-up or dressed for Netflix.

Her eyes are intoxicating. It’s like you could get drunk on her eye contact. Stare long enough and you risk embarrassing yourelf like the town drunk. And it’s not just her eyes that could leave a man stumbling. She also likes to work out…

I bring my @skinnybunnytea with me everywhere I go because it keeps me feeling less bloated, especially on set #skinnyambassador

A photo posted by Milana Yuzhakova ️️ (@milanayuzhakova) on

How do you keep your cool when a woman is so damn sexy?

Easy. Same as with the rainstorm. Don’t fight the moment. Trust you can handle the sexiness. Go with it. Here’s a chance to practice: take a walk on the beach with Milana in this vid.

Did you get dizzy? Look, some days you’ll get wet, you’ll get dizzy, but that’s not a problem, you can handle it. Remember getting wet is often a good thing. Now, enjoy one last walk with Milana as you imagine taking a sexier path into this new year.

Вы слышите этот шум?Природа говорит с нами 😌🌊

A video posted by Milana Yuzhakova ️️ (@milanayuzhakova) on

What is it about blondes in bikinis? Did you see that, this week, your gurl, Charlotte McKinney kicked off her new year by stress-testing swimsuits on a tropical beach. That poor bikini seems stretched to its limit.

January 1st 🎉

A photo posted by charlottemckinney (@charlottemckinney) on

The good news for you is there are a lot more of those pics, if you click here.

One of our favorite blondes of all time, a woman whose name leaps to mind when you think of a sexy blonde running down the beach… that’s right, Pamela Anderson… was in the news this week. Hollywood is making a Baywatch reboot, and the producers finally found a woman sexy enough to fill Pam’s legendary red bathing suit - Kelly Rohrbach.

Meanwhile, Pam keeps bringing the sexy. Like, lately, she’s been posting some incredible Instagram pics. You can check ‘em here.

Pam Anderson (PB shoot black and white)

While we’re talking about sexy women in swimsuits, this week, Victoria’s Secret lingerie model Candice Swanepoel shared with the world some pics that testify to what a beautiful butt she has. The ridiculously hot Emily Ratajkowski shared these pics of her eye-arresting bikini cleavage. Also, this week, pics of professional badass Ronda Rousey posing for the SI swimsuit issue hit the Internet. You better believe Ronda looks like a second-round knockout! (…sorry, it was right there.) And finally, if you wanna see a woman with possibly the best bikini bod on the planet, check this vid of Jen Selter…

Kylie Jenner just released a super hot videoshoot on her website. Posed in a cheek-splitting thong, Kylie drops some fresh sexiness for the new year and reminds us why exactly we’ll still be talking about the Kardashian girls deep into 2016–they know how to deliver sexy like a British cabby knows how to get you to Buckingham Palace. Icons are icons for a reason.

This week, a couple former Disney girls stepped out of the shadow of the Mouse to assert their adult sexiness in ways that will certainly fire up your dream factory. Selena Gomez and her friends held a bikini party that was luckily well-documented on social media.

Fellow former Disney girl Bella Thorne shared so much hot-and-sweaty sexiness on Snapchat this week she guaranteed she’d steam up the windows of your imagination.

Tag your friends 🤗

A video posted by SMILE PILLOWS (@smilepillows) on

Speaking of heating up social media… did you catch this collection of all of the hottest girls on Instagram featured all in one unbelievably sexy calendar? This is a fantastic way to put a smile on your face every damn day, and make your 2016 a year to remember.

Now, here’s a woman who is gifted with an ass that defies succinct description, but if we had to describe her booty with just one word, it would be: unforgettable.

Meet Uldouz. We collected some of her finest, most flattering photos, images that highlight her highly amazing backside. Maybe do yourself a solid and take a moment to enjoy Uldouz and all her impossibly curvy sexiness.

And, because we like you, we also curated this gallery of women who are all blessed with butts so incredible even Superman was like, “My real name is Clark Kent, and I want desperately to be with you.“

I found this randomly,my booty with photoshop 😝 :D

A photo posted by Slawa (@slawada) on

Colombia is a country famous for butts. The nation may not have the reputation that Brazil has, but if you ask anyone who loves butts, they’ll likely sing the praises of Colombia. This may be why, recently, everyone’s been asking Miss Colombia if she’ll perform in any adult films in her near future. Her answer was… no. But Miss Colombia did say she’d love to show the world some nudes.

You may have seen this in the headlines this week: the man with the world’s first bionic penis is getting ready to road test his new rod. He’s very excited. You see, a car accident mangled his penis when he was an infant. Now, at 43, he’s about to lose his virginity… to a super-sexy professional dominatrix! And she volunteered to give him his first one for free. What a sweet thing to do, and a legendary way to lose your virginity.

Okay… hold up! This moment of sexiness was brought to you by jazzzmine.r. In this vid she takes her time getting out of the pool. Because, remember, wet is a good thing.

Since everyone keeps telling me to put it back up lol. Have a great Saturday! 😘 video by: @messydesk_

A video posted by Jazmine (@jazzzmine.r) on

In the words of that great philosopher from Texas, “Alright, alright, alright.”

This week, our Just The Tips feature answered a very honest, and very complicated question, one that nearly every man has considered at least once, or twice, in his lifetime:

I don’t want a relationship right now, so how can I have as much sex as possible while still remaining a good guy?

This question requires a very nuanced answer. If you want to know how to pull off the same thing, read on:

Sex, unlike so much else, can operate outside of a moral dimension — and in our puritanical culture, that’s something worth exploring. Some of us are more into this recklessness than others. Simultaneously, having anonymous sex with people you don’t care about can be an avoidance of intimacy. I would suggest that you try divorcing in your mind the “not caring about the girl” from the not caring about “what happens afterwards.” It’s entirely possible to care about what happens to somebody in a moment and not want to see them again after that moment. The first rule of being a playboy is that you appreciate the people you’re with socially and sexually as full humans. Without that you’re just a boy.

While we’re talking about enjoying casual sex… Do you know how in adult films those dudes love to pump away and drill into a woman like they’re sure there’s oil somewhere deep inside her vagina? Guys, that aggro oil derrick thrusting technique is one thing women love to make fun of us for behind our backs. Life ain’t a porno, Jack.

This week, we thought we’d talk about your thrusting techniques. Australian sexpert Jacqueline Hellyer has a rubber penis. And she’d like to show you how to use it to please a woman. And by "it” we mean your dick. And by “please” we mean tease a woman with orgasm-producing pelvic patterns. Check how this lovely Aussie acts out the Nine Taoist Thrusting techniques. Wait till you see her demonstrate “a wild horse plunging into a stream.”

If you use those techniques you’ll definitey surprise the girl you’re with, and her response will probably surprise you. Maybe not.

Speaking of sexy surprises, what would you do if you discovered a shocking surprise like this?

Once, I was cleaning for a 91-year-old man. When I went into his bedroom, the bed was covered in bondage gear: restraints, whips, gags, handcuffs, you name it. It made Christian Grey look like an amateur. I was initially unsure what to do, but after spotting some questionable stains, I decided to put on my rubber gloves and change the sheets. This man was paying me to clean, and clean is what I did. I couldn’t work out where the items were usually kept, so I placed them neatly, in size order, on the newly made bed. I even dusted them. I never said anything to my client about it. What he gets up to is his own business, but it was difficult to look at him in the same way again.

Here’s the story of a 91-year old BDSM enthusiast who enjoys his sexual pleasures rough. It’s like what the blind porn star said about filming the money shot, “I never see that coming.”

This next news item seems like an Eminem song that was never written.

Meet 20-year-old William Cornelius.

william cornelius mugshot

William is a romantic. And he was in the marrying mood. So, William purchased a $29.62 engagement ring from Walmart. (Bet you didn’t know Walmart had wedding jewelry. And, such reasonable prices.) Next, William asked a Walmart employee to use the loudspeaker, so he could share his magical moment with all the other Walmart shoppers. William got down on one knee. And then he barked his wedding proposal over the loudspeaker as he asked his girl to marry him. And she said…

Yes! (…Awwwww)

Having made it official, the young lovers left the mega-church of cheap consumerism and headed over to another store called Spencer’s. William wanted to get his fiancee something to celebrate. So, he stole a vibrator, oral sex candy, an edible thong, and because he’s a romantic, William also pocketed a “Bride-to-Be” thong for his fiancee… for a grand total of $80.93. We know all of this because the young lovers were arrested for shoplifting.

Deputies responding to a theft call subsequently collared Cornelius (pictured at left) and Moore inside the mall. As first reported by the Bay City Times, Cornelius was asleep at a food court table, having apparently nodded off while attempting to tie his shoes.

Hey, Florida! Chin up. This story didn’t happen in the Sunshine State. We were surprised, too. The future Mr and Mrs. William Cornelius hail from Michigan…. just like Eminem, Kid Rock, and the Insane Clown Posse.

Well, it’s time to get your mind right for the weekend. One of the best ways we know how to do that is to let your eyes slide down the bubble round curves of some booties bound up in yoga pants. And since it’s a new year, and you may need a little extra power of the butt to clear your head, shake off the stress of that first week back, and let yourself fall into a moment of bliss… well, you’re in luck, we also curated this fine collection of behinds, it’s a bevvy of beautiful belfies. Enjoy!

Tbt

A photo posted by Cecibel Vogel™ (@therealmisslouboutin) on

Whoa.

Until next time… keep it sexy!



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