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This Week In Sex: Robin Thicke’s Girlfriend, Miley, Monokinis & More

This Week In Sex: Robin Thicke’s Girlfriend, Miley, Monokinis & More:

Oh, man! The life of “Blurred Lines” singer Robin Thicke life was an amusement park of ups and downs over the last year. He was riding high with the No. 1 song in the world, nominated for a Grammy, then he lost a huge lawsuit for swiping the tune from Marvin Gaye and followed that with a divorce from actress Paula Patton.

Now the dude’s on an upswing. The 38-year-old singer has a new girlfriend who’s 20 years old! (See photos above.) Obviously, she may find someone new once she can drink legally. But for now let’s enjoy their happiness and the fact she’s a four-alarm fire in a bathing suit.

This week, the Met Gala played host to a parade of sexy. Beyonce showed up in a see-through dress. The beautiful booties of Kim Kardashian and J Lo finally met. And Cara Delevingne and Rihanna shared some very sexy cleavage with photographers.

Now, some did note that when adult film stars have an awards show they arrive looking glamorous - you know, like old movie stars - meanwhile, big brand name Hollywood celebs tend to show so much skin they make adult film stars look modest and demure. It’s a funny little world.

The one-woman-headline-machine Miley Cyrus was extra busy this week. Not only did she make a strip poker music video with Zoe Kravitz. She also started to make it clear that she’s bisexual. And, oh yeah, she also sucked a fake D and went cowgirl atop another giant D on-stage. You know, just another week of Miley being Miley.

Jessica-Cribbon

Meanwhile this week, at Playboy HQ, we kept things just the way we like them: super sexy. The Aussie model Jessica Cribbon popped by for a photoshoot.

03 Jessica-Cribbon

As you can see in this vid, Jessica’s so gawd damn hot we’ve had to run the air conditioning 24/7 since she left just to get the temp in the building back down.

So far, for this summer, we like this new trend in women’s beachwear - “the monokini”. It’s a one-piece swimsuit with all the same sex appeal of a two-piece bikini. We’re also big fans of Kelly Brook sunbathing nude and sharing pics of it with the world. Bless your generosity, Kelly!

Okay! Now, here’s a video of a hot girl who looks hotter the more of her you see. It’s Playboy’s Miss November 2014 cover girl Gia Marie doing her sexy thing on a pair of roller skates.

Guys, have you ever thought to yourself: I wish I could strengthen my dick? Why isn’t there a cock workout? Turns out, there is! It’s called Private Gym. It’s an FDA registered exercise program that, according to the website:

“Creates harder erections, prevents premature ejaculation, enables greater ejaculatory force…” and something about prostate health.

If you exercise your penis for just 10 minutes/day for 3 days/week, very soon you could be lifting hammers and doghouses. (None of that is guaranteed.) If you’re curious, this dude tried it and wrote about it.

In other odd D-related news, did you hear about the artist who’s making dildos that are designed to contain the cremated ashes of the dearly departed? To quote the artist: “The urn offers the possibility to conserve 21 grams of ashes of the deceased and displays an immortal desire.” Ah, yes, the immortal desire to have sex with a dead person. Wait, isn’t that the plot to all of the Twilight novels?

We don’t quite understand why this reporter is stripping naked to talk about sports, but we like it. We especially don’t mind being confused when it looks this damn sexy.

Sometimes, sex/sexiness can get confusing. We’ve got your back. We compiled this handy little explainer vid to go over some of those pesky unspoken rules of sex.

What do you do with a two-pump chump? What do you do if you are one? Whether it’s your first time, or it happened the last time you got naked, we’ve all been there, and this week, “Just The Tips” offered some helpful words to deal with premature ejaculation.

From what we’ve learned, erotica is neither good nor bad. It’s how you use it.

There’s a public employee in Baltimore who was fired after he spent 50 percent of his time at work… watching adult films. There’s also the school teacher who was fired after someone discovered that she used to be an adult film star. Doesn’t matter if you’re watching it or making it, XXX videos can sometimes be bad news for your job prospects.

Or not. This week an adult film star did a topless tour of New York City. And almost everyone enjoyed the show. So maybe XXX films are the same as real estate. It’s all about location, location, location.

OK, let’s pause to appreciate the video of Rachel Williams bouncing her breasts in slow-mo.

Collect yourself.

There were also some super strange sex stories in the news. First off, there was the college girl who broke into a stranger’s house, stripped naked, jumped up-and-down on a bed demanding to know “Am I pretty?” and then she attacked a cop that showed up to deal with her naked situation.

Second, in South Africa, there are reportedly roving gangs of women who will kidnap a dude off the street, rape the man at gunpoint, and then steal his semen. Like, what the F is wrong with people?! (Warning: if you have any respect for your time and your mind, don’t read the comments.)

Florida beach fornicators

Finally, to remind everyone that Florida is the state that will bang anyone with anything, anywhere, at any time, this week two proud Floridians were found guilty of having sex on the beach. Not the sex on the beach sorority girls order when they want to be funny. These two idiots were humping next to families. The guy’s a 40-year-old, former cocaine distributor and ex-con. She’s 20 and, um, under-employed. She does throw a mean resting bitchface in her mugshot. Props. Maybe she can model for products looking to appeal to the woman who gives no fucks (that is, unless she’s on a crowded beach). Oh yeah, since they’re found guilty, the dude’s looking at a maximum sentence, thanks to his parole violations. Hope a piece of 20-year old ass was worth 15 years in prison. (It usually is not.)

06 boyshorts

Now, before you go, why not take five to enjoy some gurls wearing boy shorts. Nice idea, right?

Until next time, keep it sexy!


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