Friday is finally here, and before you fling yourself across the chasm of the weekend into the cliff face of next week, you deserve some laughs. That’s why, every week, we compile 15 of the week’s funniest and weirdest tweets. If you like them, make sure and follow the characters who wrote them so you can find something to laugh at each every day.
Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware?— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 4, 2017
Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware?
M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa
was just having a normal day until THIS happened…lol !! pic.twitter.com/uYWgq9XFY1— Midoca (@Midocamusic) January 12, 2017
me: hi— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) January 8, 2017
pacsun cashier: hey dude! rad hair. how old is your grandma? you ever hit the dab? surfs up
2016— Todd ‘Papi’ Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) January 11, 2017
TRUMP: Russia did not hack us
TRUMP: Russia may have hacked us
TRUMP: Россия определенно взломан нас
Instagram: My life is a party.— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) January 8, 2017
Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show
Facebook: My life turned out great!
Twitter: We’re all going to die.
Ann Coulter is what happens if you feed Kellyanne Conway after midnight.— Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) January 9, 2017
do local car dealerships try to make their commercials as shitty as possible in some strange competition none of us know about— Chris Melberger (@chrismelberger) January 9, 2017
[at the vet with my cat]— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 8, 2017
me: i know, that’s why i brought you here
The DMV is so boring it doesn’t even get points for being the only place where you’re asked if you want to give parts of your dead body away— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) January 9, 2017
Bees are willing to die to fuck up your day and I respect that— Daniel “Kibblesmith” (@kibblesmith) January 10, 2017
The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 9, 2017
we just met, slow down pic.twitter.com/UIPEiT0AHL— Katie Tiedrich (@katietiedrich) January 7, 2017
friend: I heard you’re happy!— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) January 11, 2017
me: fake news
[Alien family passing Earth]— Ygrene (@Ygrene) January 9, 2017
*door lock noise*
When you get to a scary bit in the book you’re reading pic.twitter.com/n62PoYesTF— Adam Hess (@adamhess1) January 10, 2017