In the mood for some laughs? Well we’ve got you covered. Below you’ll find the funniest most amazing most fabulous tweets from this past week. Don’t doubt us, it’s true. If you like these tweets, make sure and follow the characters who wrote them so then you’ll be sure to find something to laugh at each every day.
Imagine how good the Beatles would have been if you replaced John Lennon with Kendrick Lamar and replaced the other 3 members with nobody— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) March 7, 2016
Clippy is not as helpful as it used to be. pic.twitter.com/GZdd0Rdmtk— Chris Worthington (@SomeChrisTweets) March 8, 2016
I saw your boyfriend’s Twitter account in the parking lot today pic.twitter.com/te2ZW2iy8v— Helena Bottom-Farter (@solikebasically) March 5, 2016
I call table tennis “tennis” and tennis “big tennis”— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 7, 2016
More like Whiney the Pooh. Stop complaining. You are a bear. Eat the goddamn piglet if you are so frickin hungry— Sen. Michael Dildos (@Karate_Horse) March 7, 2016
My parents took my dog on vacation for the first time and it’s literally like they have a new child pic.twitter.com/cELITCyGCs— chris (@cmhack_) March 2, 2016
If women don’t want me staring at their tits, they shouldn’t wear low-cut tops in the privacy of their own home while I’m using a telescope.— Mark Leggett 🙋🏻♂️ (@markleggett) March 8, 2016
I’ve never seen anyone vaping in a car that didn’t have at least three dents in it.— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) March 5, 2016
cashier: thank you have a nice da-— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) March 10, 2016
me: i wont
*puts on fingerless gloves*
every day on this planet is terrible.
Don’t accuse me or my sons of being the Zodiac Killer ever again pic.twitter.com/gwQ3jbRyjP— james nielssen (@cool_as_heck) March 5, 2016
*accidentally steps on skechers too hard n it lights up*— rich brian (@richchigga) March 10, 2016
didnt mean 2 flex on u…
[Changes Siri to male]— R.E.W. (@therealeatwood) March 8, 2016
ME: Siri, tell me the—
MALE SIRI: Listen, here’s what you need to know.
MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I’m speaking
HER: this isn’t working out— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 8, 2016
ME: is it because I’m too literal?
HER: I just don’t want to see you any more
ME: ok *gently closes her eyes*
VICTIM: He had a beard & a scar— pat tobin (@tastefactory) March 4, 2016
SKETCH ARTIST: Is this him?
VICTIM: That’s Bart Simpson
SKETCH ARTIST: Yeah I can only draw a couple things