In the mood for some laughs? Specifically about the debauchery of spring break? We’ve got you covered. And if you like these, be sure to follow them and then you can find some laughs every single day.
After viewing the Snapchat stories of people on Spring Break, I’ve decided I’m never having a daughter— Zach Williamson (@Zilliamson) March 19, 2015
SPRING BREAK 2015 🔥— Thynebear (@Thynebear) March 19, 2015
NO CURFEW 🙅
NO VEGETABLES 😝
NO PARENTS 🙈
NO RULES 💃
GONNA HAVE MY FIRST KISS 💏
GONNA DRINK MY FIRST BEER 🙊
“Woo, Spring break!” - Russian clockmaker telling his Chinese assistant Woo what’s wrong with his watch— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) March 14, 2015
Hey kids on spring break: did you know if you drop out its like spring break all the time just way sadder?— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) March 9, 2015
Every single girl on Spring Break is named Kelsey and they’re all in nursing school— Nuch (@FormerChild) March 19, 2015
*pulls motorist over*— It’s Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) August 14, 2014
COP: Are you high?
MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree?
*one leaf silently falls from cop*
A good way to remember your spring break in Mexico is to get cornrows or HPV or a marble chess set— Ben Cohen (@UniqueDude2) March 28, 2013
🎵Take me down to Panama City— ceeks (@70Ceeks) March 19, 2015
where the airbrushed tanks
start around $8.50.
Oh won’t you please take me, Bro?🎵
*walks up to dealer*— The Dogfather (@matt___nelson) February 12, 2015
I would like 3 weeds please
“Are you a cop?”
No I love crime and tomfoolery
Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?
“The Girl From Ipanema” is probably my favourite song about a creepy old man watching girls at the beach— ann (@omically) March 5, 2015
A group of vacationers in Mexico is called a murdered.— Velvet Tusk (@velvettusk) April 11, 2014
me: SPRING BREAK!— josh (@ruinedpicnic) March 19, 2015
girls in car: woooo!
me: NO I MEAN THE SUSPENSION IS FUCKED
[all screaming as the car wobbles into a canyon]
*gets arrested*— BeardSpice (@BeardSpice) March 17, 2015
me: (from back of the police car) Is this a date? This feels like a date.
Eric is a comedy writer based in Michigan. Follow @dubstep4dads on Twitter.