In the mood for some laughs? Well we’ve got you covered. Below you’ll find the funniest most amazing most fabulous tweets from this past week. Don’t doubt us, it’s true. If you like these tweets, make sure and follow the characters who wrote them so then you’ll be sure to find something to laugh at each every day.
Got rly high last night and made a powerpoint about shreks children. I hate myself pic.twitter.com/FlaAeoeHyZ— adea 🌹 (@adea_pristine) September 14, 2016
Kangaroo: SOMEONE TOOK MY BABY— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) September 18, 2016
911: try to remain calm
Kangaroo: PLEASE FIND MY…wait..
911: was it in your-
Kangaroo: it was in my pocket
Quit saying you love fall and just say “I have weird legs.”— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) September 22, 2016
Was worried my dog’s going deaf but, nope, he’s just learned the skill of people in a longterm relationship to completely tune out a partner— Sarah (@thetigersez) September 17, 2016
me: life is so good. i’m in a really happy place.— nathan zed 🥀 (@NathanZed) September 18, 2016
narrator: for now
“i’ve been expecting-”— elderly man (@fashionhotstyle) September 21, 2016
“no it is i who have been-”
“i expected you to say that”
“aha just as i expected pic.twitter.com/3SgqMx0W3K
me: [wiping sweat from forehead with my turtleneck] holy shit, this john mayer mosh pit is frickin’ insane!— karate horse (@Karate_Horse) September 20, 2016
My grandfather at 26: fought in 11 wars and had 64 children and also invented baseball— Nick Ciarelli (@nickciarelli) September 18, 2016
Me at 26: duhhh pizza is my girlfriend??
If Brad Pitt doesn’t show up at Jennifer Aniston’s house and say "it’s always been you Rach” then this whole thing was a missed opportunity— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) September 20, 2016
bf: will you marry me?— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) September 12, 2016
me: *thinks about Jim from The Office*
*remembers he is a fictional character*
*but what if he isn’t??*
Brad Pitt is only allowed the Br back from Brangelina. She keeps her whole name. he’s Br Pitt now. sounds like he’s cold ha ha. send tweet— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) September 20, 2016
me: do you know what sarcasm is?— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) September 20, 2016
daughter: no I do not, please enlighten me, father
me: ok, well it mea-*squints eyes* wait a minute…
before tinder i used to mail 4 old pictures of myself to every stranger within 10 miles— chuuch (@ch000ch) September 16, 2016
“Hey what’s today’s date?”— vineyille (@vineyille) September 19, 2016
Neil deGrasse Tyson: You mean on the cosmic calendar?
“No Neil, not on the goddamn cosmic calendar.”