In the mood for some laughs? Well we’ve got you covered. Below you’ll find the funniest most amazing most fabulous tweets from this past week. Don’t doubt us, it’s true. If you like these tweets, make sure and follow the characters who wrote them so then you’ll be sure to find something to laugh at each every day.
Sometimes when i feel sad&lonely i pretend i am walking an invisible dog & she is peeing on everyone & they dont know oh they dont even know— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 13, 2015
Watch out world, 16 people liked something I said on the internet.— Jay (@theshamingofjay) October 14, 2015
Some people are so quick to judge. I always notice this right away.— ashley barnhill (@ashley_barnhill) October 7, 2015
Murderer: I’m going to murder you— Tim (@Playing_Dad) October 12, 2015
Me: *looking down at phone* yeah, ok.
Um, doctor? This degree on your wall is from Whatsamatta U. I don’t think that’s a…— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) October 11, 2015
Doctor: *looking at x-rays* MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO SKIN!
nice try walmart, like im gonna spend $20 on a skeleton mask when i could easily just peel the flesh and muscle off my face for free— local badboy, (@hippieswordfish) October 12, 2015
What if you could click on a link and it just took you straight to the thing the link said it was about?— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 13, 2015
I bought “extra whitening” toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) October 12, 2015
I will never poop with the door open in front of someone I date. Gotta keep the mystery alive. Like. Do all people poop??? Does she????— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 9, 2015
Lifeguard: SHARK! GET OUT OF THE WATER— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) October 11, 2015
Me: [Remembers 150 people are killed by falling coconuts every year & only 5 from shark attacks] ..No
[Lies on resume about having gone to preschool]— Poorly Drawn Turtle (@NoTheOtherJohn) October 9, 2015
Boss: You’re hired. Your first task is to make me a macaroni picture.
Me: *eyes widen* what
Dave Grohl: I’VE GOT ANOTHER CONFESSION TO MAKE— Hi-Clarity Tweeter (@dongfuture) October 14, 2015
Priest: pls stop shouting, Dave
Whoa, Miley, you smoke weed? Like actual WEED? Holy shit. Like dank bud? Like pot? Damn that’s fuckin badass. Weed. Damn.— Bo Burnham (@boburnham) October 14, 2015
Imagine being the child that resulted from this pic.twitter.com/MSWQ53YlqX— lindsey (@Lindzeta) October 13, 2015