Compiled for your enjoyment, here are the 15 funniest tweets of this week. If you’re not following these characters already, make it happen. Otherwise you’ll be missing out on some of the most clever and hilarious minds on Twitter.
Christmas is ruined pic.twitter.com/IxJFki1Dhh— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) December 15, 2014
Ladies, call me frequent flyer mile rewards because I’m blacked out during the holidays— Oliver Brendle Tomes (@mattytalks) December 13, 2014
Jokes on you, guy who pantsed me at the high school prom. I was going to take my pants off when I got home, anyways.— Lyle Clip Art (@Kyle_Lippert) December 16, 2014
Your loads are precious. If you don’t glaze my face like a human Cinnabon its a waste.— Princess Anús (@Slashleen) December 14, 2014
“I think the more important question is, HOW’S Waldo?” ~ Where’s Waldo’s therapist— Fun_Beard (@Fun_Beard) December 18, 2014
┳┻|— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) December 17, 2014
┻┳| •.•) Pssst, hey kid
┳┻|⊂ﾉ wanna buy some myrrh?
“is it gonna keep beeping until i put my seatbelt on”— Zachary Flynn (@zacharyflynn) December 17, 2014
[makes annoyed face about technology designed to save my life]
*Orders pizza*— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) December 17, 2014
What a night
And a text? Killing it
ok that was the pizza confirmation but still cruising
“Um wow okay”— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) December 14, 2014
-all of Santa’s other reindeer
Me: If that baby won’t stop crying I’m walking out & going to another restaurant.— 205 Days to SauceDay (@yerpalmildsauce) December 14, 2014
Gf: You used to do that too.
Me: that was months ago.
tinder is my favorite thing that i hate pic.twitter.com/wzfobK8mLr— ghost of cool dad (@rahtzee) December 18, 2014
[At maternity ward]— Leotard Cohen (@pharmasean) December 12, 2014
Me: is this where babies are delivered
Me: You ought to be ashamed. Babies need their livers
Eric is a comedy writer based in Michigan. Follow @dubstep4dads on Twitter.