Remember Tila Tequila? She was basically the Kylie Jenner of the mid-2000s. She was a hot girl, subject of many tabloid headlines, people were always talking about whether she had plastic surgery and people always talked about her sex life. After her show, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila (which was “revolutionary” at the time because the contestants were both men and women), ended, she mostly faded into obscurity.
Well, Tila decided it was time to get back into the spotlight. She decided to release a “video autobiography” on her YouTube channel. Basically she’s telling her whole life story over a series of videos. The autobiography is…well…pretty f&%^ing crazy. In part one, she talks about being an alien from another planet who entered her mother’s pregnant body in order to be born. And then she talks about having weird paranormal powers throughout her life. Check out the video below:
And that’s just part one! We can only assume in future parts she’ll discuss traveling back in time to assassinate JFK, her ability to read minds and probably a fifteen-minute long segment where she speaks in Aramaic.
Someone needs to make a reality show where Tila and Lindsay Lohan compete to make up the most ridiculous rant.
Just in case you were wondering, Tila still looks fantastic.
There has to come a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complete package. Take me…or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities life presents you. ~Stacey Charter #Truth #Angels #Messengers 😉 😇💕👍
"The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything." ~Fight Club - So very, very true! Because it wasn’t until I lost everything I had that I finally became free of my depressions, free of my material burdens weighing me down in life. I was finally free to roam about with nothing, but a dream, and my soul! I was free from the material world weighing me down, and it was then …that I was finally able to spread my wings, and fly!!!!! On that note; I will be offline for a while. So goodbye for now. I love you always, and forever. #LiveHard #LoveHard #DieHard #SpreadYourWingsAndFly 😇🔥💥🌠💞
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Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for Playboy.com. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.