Remember Tila Tequila? She was basically the Kylie Jenner of the mid-2000s. She was a hot girl, subject of many tabloid headlines, people were always talking about whether she had plastic surgery and people always talked about her sex life. After her show, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila (which was “revolutionary” at the time because the contestants were both men and women), ended, she mostly faded into obscurity.

Well, Tila decided it was time to get back into the spotlight. She decided to release a “video autobiography” on her YouTube channel. Basically she’s telling her whole life story over a series of videos. The autobiography is…well…pretty f&%^ing crazy. In part one, she talks about being an alien from another planet who entered her mother’s pregnant body in order to be born. And then she talks about having weird paranormal powers throughout her life. Check out the video below:

And that’s just part one! We can only assume in future parts she’ll discuss traveling back in time to assassinate JFK, her ability to read minds and probably a fifteen-minute long segment where she speaks in Aramaic.

Someone needs to make a reality show where Tila and Lindsay Lohan compete to make up the most ridiculous rant.

Just in case you were wondering, Tila still looks fantastic.

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Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.