Strip Club Savings in Tough Times

M.D. writes the Advisor with some money-saving tips:

"During these tough economic times, I thought I'd share some of my tips for saving money at the strip club. First, arrive ten minutes before opening; the doors are usually open to let the dancers in and no one will be manning the register to charge you an entrance fee, or checking for VIP passes. Make sure you stop and get one dollar bills before you arrive; the waitress will give you change in fives, tens, twenties and even two-dollar bills so the dancers make more tips.

"Don't cut corners by not getting a drink. Not having a drink in your hand tells the dancers you are broke. Order a glass of water in a glass, rather than a paper, cup. Water and soda is typically served in disposable cups. So now the dancers think you're drinking. Also, every time you order a drink the waitress will set a napkin on the table and then place your beverage on top of it. So what you do is you ask the waitress for a couple of napkins and place them strategically place around you, making it appear that you've had a few. Boy, do dancers love a drunk customer.

"When tipping with a dollar bill use the 'tip fold.' When tipping a dancer on stage with a one dollar bill make sure to fold the bill in a manner where the ones on the corners are not exposed. The dancer will know you are tipping her but when all the other tips collide she won't know if you were the high tipper or low tipper. But she knows you tip! When most clubs open their DJ booth is on auto pilot which means the DJ is not there to cut the song short. This way the lap dance is the entire length of the song. The chubby factor: the really hot dancers know they are going to make money so they usually do not work as hard when they a re giving you a lap dance but the bigger girls or less attractive girls are going to work harder for every dollar they make."

The Advisor comments: Isn't the point of a strip club to waste money? Plus, we doubt you’re fooling as many dancers as you think.