Telling a little fib every now and then isn’t a big deal (I tell my editor everyday I think he’s amazing). Lying is inadvisable at best, but we all do it. In fact, research has found that the majority of us can’t even go 10 minutes without telling a lie, so no one should be getting all high and mighty here.
Now, a new British survey of 2,000 adults is adding to our understanding of the scope of our deceptions, finding that one in four people don’t even completely trust their current partner. Five percent don’t trust them at all.
“I’m surprised to see so many couples don’t trust each other,” psychologist Honey Langcaster-James said of the results. “We may have every right to be cautious since this research finds most people admit to lying to their partners, or being lied to.”
Subjects confessed to telling an average of 10 lies per day, which was usually a mixed bag of little white lies peppered in with more serious deceptions. All things considered, it makes sense then that half of respondents claim they’ve been lied to in a relationship, with one-third saying these lies were serious.
Fifteen percent of couples confess they’ve conned a partner into starting a relationship under false pretenses.
It only gets worse from here, my friends. According to 15 percent of couples, their entire relationship is built on a lie, with respondents confessing they’ve conned a partner into starting a relationship under false pretenses. Worse than that, more than one-third of these couples maintain that same deception to this day.
On that unsavory note, let’s skip ahead to the top lies we tell our partners—most of which are relatively harmless, thankfully, especially after that last statistic.
“I am listening,” took the top spot among, because of course it did. If your relationship is anything like mine, you’ll probably find that your partner repeats stories every now and then, especially after a couple cocktails.
In second came “I’m not in a bad mood,” followed by “I only had one drink,” which is like, the number one lie told by husbands in sitcoms. These falsities are followed by “I didn’t see your text/call,“ “You don’t look fat,” (ouch) “I’m sticking to my diet,” (lol) and “I had an orgasm.” The last of which was likely uttered by women in heterosexual relationships, as straight men are the worst at giving orgams. It’s science.
Also included in the mix of lies are the very relatable “I like your parents,” “I didn’t break that” and, what I’d argue is my most utilized lie, “I didn’t eat that.” However, some lies were more serious than hoarding that last row of Oreos in the pantry, like, “I’ve never cheated on you,” “I was out with friends” and “I wasn’t looking at her.”
Obviously, no lie is or should be considered equal and I’m fairly confident you don’t need a lesson in which are worse than others. But I will leave you with this: research has found that the best lie detectors are people who are most likely to trust others. So if your partner is often inclined to give someone the benefit of the doubt, don’t think you can put anything past her. She’s onto you.