When a joke gets too wordy, everything can go wrong. Just ask my uncle John who gets 9 minutes through a 10 minute joke only to forget the punchline. Here are some jokes from Reddit that are easy to remember, if only because they are short.
1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. I once had a friend who had a job circumcising elephants. The pay was lousy, but the tips were huge.
3. Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.
4. And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
5. We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. Runs in our jeans.
6. Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
7. What’s the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches.
8. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.
9. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
10. A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, “What is this, some sort of joke?”
11. Did you hear about the two gay ghosts?
They gave each other the willies.
12. What’s so sad about a Mexican, a white guy and an Asian driving off of a cliff?
They were my friends.
13. I got in touch with my inner self today. That is the last time I buy single ply toilet paper.
14. The first rule of Alzheimer’s club is don’t talk about chess club.
15. What would The Jetsons be called if they were black?
The Jetsons, you fucking racist.
16. What was Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?
HAAAANNNDDDD EYYYYYYEEEE, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!
17. Why did the boy fall off the swing?
Because his grandpa threw a blender at him.