In a major upset, Bernie Sanders defeated Hillary Clinton in last night’s Michigan Democratic primary. I just thought I should mention that before giving Donald Trump a portion of his daily free media.

Now, on to the freak show!

After winning last night’s Republican primaries in Michigan and Mississippi as well as a caucus in Hawaii, Trump gave a victory speech in Jupiter, Fla., (home of Burt Reynolds). However, it turned into a bizarre micro-targeted infomercial for Trump Steaks aimed specifically at Mitt Romney.

“Trump steaks. Where are the steaks? Do we have steak? We have Trump Steaks,” Trump said, referring to a large plate of meat near the podium. “And by the way, if you want to take one, we’ll charge you about, what, 50 bucks a steak.”

The line about charging for the steaks appeared to be a joke. Sadly, the rest of the presentation, which included Trump branded water and wine, was not.

The display was meant as a response to a speech Romney gave last week showcasing many of Trump’s failed business ventures, including Trump Steaks, an ad for which can be seen below:

“I brought some things up because, [Romney] said, ‘Water company is gone.’ I said, ‘It is?’ I didn’t know that,” Trump said.

Of course, Romney did not bring up the water company, or the wine, for that matter.

“Whatever happened to Trump Airlines?” Romney said in the speech. “How about Trump University? And then there’s Trump Magazine and Trump Vodka and Trump Steaks and Trump Mortgage. A business genius he is not.”

As for the steaks in question, despite Trump’s boasts at last night’s speech, they are no longer available for purchase through the Sharper Image, which was the exclusive retailer of Trump Steaks (don’t you buy your meat through the Sharper Image?). But that didn’t stop the Donald from trotting out a big plate of meat and claiming otherwise. In fact, according to Greg Pollowitz of, Trump’s staff didn’t even bother to remove another company’s label from the meat before putting it on display. Ironically, the real company behind the meat appears to be named Bush Brothers.

Last summer, when Trump entered the race, I might have pretended to find it galling that a presidential candidate would do something like this. But now, like most people, I’ve been worn down to the point where I’m actually impressed by all the new and inventive methods Trump employs to explain away his bullshit. I guess I’ve come to peace with the fact that in November I’ll probably be forced to choose between a brazen liar with several failed businesses to his name or a more nuanced liar with several failed states to her’s.

(Sources: The Washington Post, The Daily Caller)