What’s new on Netflix? Hot on Hulu? Amazing on Amazon? Crossing the Streams scours the streaming services to find the best shows and specials freshly available for online viewing. You’re welcome!

The women-in-prison dramedy returns with new inmates (including Fringe vet Blair Brown as a melange of Martha Stewart and Paula Deen), new guards (played by the likes of Justified alum Brad William Henke) and a new Queen Bee-hind bars: Piper (Taylor Schilling). All your old favorites are still here, too, as Red (Kate Mulgrew) adjusts to a new kitchen schedule, Taystee (Danielle Brooks) lands a job as the assistant to the warden (Nick Sandow), and Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba) meets someone who’s even crazier than she is. Oh, and the first of the thirteen new episodes is directed by Andrew McCarthy, who’s come a long way from Pretty in Pink to Orange is the New Black.

“Being a comedian is like being a murderer,” Jerry Seinfeld opines in the season premiere of his caffeine-fueled Web show. “No matter what people tell you, you’re probably going to do it anyway.” His opening guest certainly kills: Jim Gaffigan, whose self-titled TV Land sitcom just returned for its second season, joins Jerry in a 1977 VW bus and for pastrami sandwiches at NYC’s 2nd Avenue Deli. Others going along for the ride this season are Margaret Cho, John Oliver, Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm pal J.B. Smoove, and a pair of behind-the-scenes comedy gurus: Judd Apatow and Lorne Michaels. New episodes roll out every Thursday.

It’s “Pilot Season” again for Amazon, and this time you can review two new dramas and vote whether they should continue as series. The Last Tycoon adapts F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel about Hollywood in the ‘30s, with Matt Bomer as a studio exec, Kelsey Grammer as his boss, and Lily Collins as an aspiring screenwriter who happens to be Grammer’s daughter. Based on a very different novel by Meg Wolitzer, The Interestings follows a group of artsy summer campers from 1974 into adulthood. The ensemble encompasses Six Feet Under’s Lauren Ambrose, Numb3rs’ David Krumholtz and Mad Men’s Jessica Pare. Is it interesting? That’s for you to decide.

A sequel to last year’s Dead Rising: Watchtower, the latest movie based on the popular videogame brings back Jesse Metcalfe as an investigative reporter out to expose a government conspiracy in the midst of a zombie outbreak. Dennis Haysbert returns as a U.S. Army General (does anyone play authority figures better?) and Titanic’s Billy Zane joins the cast as an evil scientist. If you’re craving zombie action in between seasons of The Walking Dead, Dead Rising will do. Just don’t expect a lot of brains.

The Three Bears never looked like this: a Grizzly (voiced by Shameless’ Eric Edelstein), a Panda (SNL’s Bobby Moynihan) and a Polar bear (stand-up Demetri Martin) who live together in this Cartoon Network comedy. Also listen for the familiar pipes of Patton Oswalt as a Koala named Nom Nom, Charlene Yi as a 12-year-old Korean-American girl who befriends the bears, and Jason Lee as Charlie, a Bigfoot who moves into the cave. As the title reveals, the animals wear no clothes, so if you’re uncomfortable with bare bears, beware.

Currently Senior Articles Editor for Closer Weekly, Bruce Fretts has written for The New York Times, Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide, Emmy Magazine, Fast Company, and Vulture. You can follow him on Twitter @brucefretts.