Meet Miss April 2016
Camille Rowe is French. Camille Rowe is sexy. Camille Rowe is incredible. Which sounds sexier in French. It’s also why she’s used to people looking, staring, only wanting to talk about her beauty. She is a model after all. And as you can see in her April pictorial, she’s sexy af.
“You’re in the public eye as a model, but you’re rarely asked to speak—and even then, they ask only about your beauty routines. Now, though, people are starting to care what I have to say. This was my vision, and it’s a proud moment for me.”
And, you know, because we like you, and we know sometimes you get curious…here’s the behind-the-scenes vid from her self-directed shoot. Enjoy!
Springtime Sexiness Was In Full Swing
Emily Ratajkowski. She’s always elegant, always lovely, and always so very sexy. Maybe do yourself a solid and go check her latest photoshoot here. Guaranteed to give you a kiss of that springtime feel.
Also be sure to catch sight of Jessica Alba on Snapchat. She’s been delighting her followers with intimate half-dressed snaps that’ll turn your spring break into spring fever.
Hulk Smash Gawker… In Sex Tape Trial
As you no doubt noticed in one or all of your social media feeds, former wrestler and t-shirt ripping icon Hulk Hogan won in his sex tape trial against the snark machine known as Gawker. A Florida judge and jury deemed that publishing an excerpt of Hulk’s sex tape—showing him with his then-BFF’s wife—was not protected as free speech by the First Amendment. Like a pile driver from the top turnbuckle straight to the center of the ring, Hulk Hogan smashed Gawker’s face onto the canvas of the American legal system. The jury awarded Hulk $140 million dollars for his pain and suffering. Justice looks a little different down in Florida, doesn’t it?
Photographer: Molly Steele
This week, our muse Molly Steele seduces the camera with her hypnotic beauty and poise. Typically, Molly is behind the lens, the one framing the shot. But she wanted to undress her own expectations, as she nakedly played with the question: “What does it mean for me, a photographer, to use my body as a vessel for communicating my art?” As you can see here, her answers are…compelling.
Sex and Tech
Our Humanity Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
This week, it was springtime for Microsoft’s Hitler-loving AI-chatbot, Tay. When the software giant turned their robot loose on the internet, they meant for the AI teen to use Twitter as a classroom to learn to communicate from others. Instead she schooled us on humanity. And it only took 24 hours. The AI bot who was designed to speak/think like a teen girl went from tweeting sweet messages to posting in all caps: FUCK MY ROBOT PUSSY DADDY I’M SUCH A BAD NAUGHTY ROBOT. Um…
That’s all thanks to 4Chan—it’s like, the internet’s version of a men’s bathroom wall. Its users (along with 8Chan users) launched a coordinated attack to “educate” the AI robot. Once their darling AI teenager started tweeting to denounce the Holocaust, claim Bush did 9/11, call Obama a monkey, and ask that you please her robot vagina, Microsoft joined the crowd of embarrassed parents, wondering where they went wrong. We’re just wondering if Donald Trump will pick her as a running mate.
Wait, Vaginas Feel Funny… To Women, Too?
The thing is, vaginas, or more accurately vulvas, aren’t just a mystery to men. Vaginas are so unique, that even women can become awestruck, amused, and left with feelings of wonder the first time they touch one, too. No joke. Here, just check for yourself as these women feel a vagina for the first time.
Breasts Are Awesome… Except When They’re Not
While vaginas are like warm mysteries located between the thighs, breasts are quite the opposite. They’re far more likely to be presented, accentuated, displayed, pushed-up, teased, and just generally the focus of strangers’ attention—both men and women. Why? Because breasts are awesome!
This week, for Hard Science, our very own Dr. Justin Lehmiller laid out a few theories why men, in particular, love breasts.
Meanwhile, Lindsey Pelas explains why it’s not always awesome to be the one who’s blessed with big breasts.
Cunnilingus… Yay! …Or, Eh.
For the longest time, men in America rarely nibbled on a woman’s peach. They tended not to be big fans of cunnilingus. Finally, in the Nineties, American men started to get over this hang-up. By the turn of the century it became common for men to admit they enjoyed diving face first into some oral sex. These days, men often like to brag about how much they can make a woman wet with just their tongue. Which means there is now a new backlash to oral sex. And if you can believe it, it’s from women. So, let’s check in with the Great Cunnilingus debate.
IN FAVOR: Bridget Phetasy
I have a theory that still holds up after YEARS of research: if a man loves oysters, he loves muff-diving. I always order oysters on a first date, and not just because it is, as the popular legend goes, an expensive aphrodisiac, but because barring a shellfish allergy or a religious dietary restriction I’ll know everything I need to know about your level of expertise when it comes to MY bearded oyster.
NOT IN FAVOR: Charlotte Shane
And bad oral is really, really bad. Like, not even worth the considerable risk of complete libido shut down if all does not go well. Where do I begin? There’s the exaggerated head movements. The humming. The saliva application so excessive I start worrying I’m experiencing anal leakage. Not only is it often performative and clueless—all show, no technique—but, for me anyway, stimulation that doesn’t actually feel good ruins me for stimulation that does. Under normal circumstances I might be really hot for that D, but if it’s delivered after ten minutes of bad head? Forget it.
What does that mean for you? Simple. Don’t assume every woman is the same.
Sex & Medicine
Who’s the Boss Chemical Co. Who Runs the Town? It’s Merck. Can You Dig It? Right on.
Since the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, scientists around the world have been battling HIV, constantly looking for ways to reduce its life-altering effects and its lethality. This week, researchers at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine announced a new drug that counters the majority of new HIV infections, by specifically focusing on vaginal transmission Along with the success of Truveda, this is big news in the battle against HIV.
Anyone Can Get Naked, So What Kind of Sex Magic Do Strippers Possess?
It isn’t just Drake, or T-Pain and Mike Jones, who’ve got a soft spot for a stripper. It seems like most straight men will lose their minds as fast they empty their wallets when they’re enchanted by the shimmy, shake, and booty-poopin of a talented exotic dancer. But why? What is this sexual magic?
And ICYMI: out in Portland, Dave Chappelle was in a strip club when he had a musical moment. The club was playing karaoke, and the world famous comedian got up on stage and busted out some Radiohead, The Police, and Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack. None of that surprises us. Dave seems chill af.
Also, this week, DJ Khaled gave it up for music in strip clubs. He says it changed his life. Without the influence of Miami’s strip club scene we might have all missed out on some major keys to success.
New Rule: No Sex in the Aquarium, Only Legit Sperm Donations, Please
Okay, so, um… over in the Netherlands, there’s a legal fight about humans masturbating dolphins. Trainers for the Dutch equivalent of SeaWorld are in hot water with politicians and the Dutch people after video was released of male trainers jerking off male dolphins. The aquarium claims it’s part of a program to prepare them for sperm donation. The politician suing the aquarium claims it’s a reward system for getting the dolphins to learn new tricks. If you’d like to judge whether it’s science or sexual reward, at 15:34 the trainer gives the dolphin a handjob.
Moving from one sperm donation to another, did you hear about the woman who met and married the sperm donor father of her child? It’s actually a lovely little story about technology bringing people and love together. We could use more of those.
Guess what time it is!
Is it… time to get ill?
Time to get funky?
Time to get up and do my thing?
But it’s def time to get your mind right for the weekend.
So, here’s a gallery of 25 of the finest selfies to the hit the internet. They ought to help prime your imagination for the sexiness to come. Enjoy!