When I’m in the back of a stranger’s car I usually avoid eye contact and conversation at all costs. Not so with these folks. We all have different definitions of horror and what makes something terrifying, but in this case Reddit users asked Uber drivers about their worst experiences. If you’re looking for a new way to get banned from Uber, check out more horror stories.
1. Khan the Man Not an Uber driver, but my driver last night (his name was Khan - he was the man) told me that not once, but SIX times did he have girls give head in the back of his car. The most recent occurrence was two weeks ago, when a young lady politely inquired whether she could give her hookup a blowjob, mentioning that there wouldn’t be a mess. He declined, and she went ahead and performed anyways. He delivered them to their destination.
2. Dude… I did Uber and Lyft for awhile. I’ll start by saying I’m in the minority as a female driver. I got hit on a lot because I was the last chance for drunk, male passengers to get laid. I really never encountered a terrible situation. I’ve overheard a lot of great conversations though. One time I was driving a group of marines back to their base and they were telling me about this other marine guy who had a fetish where he would stand on his head and jerk off into his own mouth.
3. Not So Sanitary Napkins Buddy of mine does it. He once found a used tampon on the floor of his car. Worst thing about it was that the next customer told him about it.
4. Trap Life I guess my horror stories of drunk white girls taking the aux cord and singing trap music at full volume aren’t as bad as I thought after reading these responses.
5. Side Effects Include Fist Pumping One Boston holiday in particular I’m waiting for the passenger to show up and your stereotypical bro shows up at the door, says more are coming. Four dudes, obviously already drunk (at 4 pm, mind you), pile into my back seat and are yelling about different “bitches” and other questionable nonsense while the guy in the front seat pushes every single button on my radio, changing stations, inputs, just going back and forth with the shit. They don’t even give me an actual location to drive to they just tell me to head to Fenway, which if you know Boston is just a large area.
I like a lot of types of music, but to avoid more nonsense I put on A$AP Rocky, who I figured would be sufficient for these bros but I hear “PUT ON SOME RAP” from the back seat. Confused, I say “this is rap?” and he yells back “PUT ON SOME GOOD RAP.” To which I just kind of ignored and continued driving.
We get to Fenway and they tell me to drop them off at this sports bar and I gladly oblige. They get out, and there’s a full can of beer in my front seat. I grab it and put it out of sight and drive away. A minute down the road I hear some clanging in my back seat, look back and there’s a half empty can of beer rolling around my floor. The bastards were drinking in my car and spilled beer all over my carpet. I had to explain this story to all my passengers the rest of the day so they didn’t think the smell was me.
Really not all that awful, but damn was it annoying.
This other time I’m fairly certain I drove around a few transgender prostitutes and their pimp to buy drugs and then go home after picking them up from a hotel. Pretty pleasant people though.
6. Blooper I’ve been an Uber driver for about 6 months. On my second day, a drunk girl pissed in the third row of my highlander, soaking the carpet and leather seats, after she climbed over the second row while the car was moving. She also exited completely, bare-ass (and cooch) naked from the waist down. Her friends were so drunk that one literally fell out of the car and started crying when the boyfriend opened the door. It was a mess. She got banned and fined $200.
I also have had to pull over for people to puke in the street twice now and last month I picked up a dealer from a strip club who passed out in my car and then left his bag. Finding that gallon sized bag of ganja was a spiritual experience for this broke college kid/pot head.
7. Better Accept the Buggery Next Time My good friend (a guy) picked up a couple of gay dudes from a party one night to drive them home. The passengers spent the entire ride trying to convince my friend to come with them to the bedroom for blowjobs, buggery, etc. which my friend politely declined.
After the trip, the passenger gave him a one star review with the comment “sexual harassment”. My friend was kicked off Uber and is no longer allowed to drive for them.
8. Oh Don’t Worry About It Didn’t happen to me but my driver shared a great one the other day.
Driver picks up passengers A and B who are two attractive ladies heading home from a bar. They promptly start making out in the backseat. Ride ends, driver continues on. Uber dispatch reaches out to let him know that passenger A had indicated that she left an item in the backseat of the car. Driver is about to pick up passenger C and doesn’t have time to whip around and check. Passenger C gets in the backseat and is immediately quiet. Tells driver there is “something” on the floor. Driver says, “oh yeah don’t worry about it, just kick it under the seat,” and makes a mental note to contact passenger A after this ride. Passenger C says nothing the entire trip, not even when exiting vehicle. Driver then calls Passenger A and informs her that he has her lost item. “That’s great!” she says. “I can pick it up if you want.” Driver offers to bring it to her directly and she says “well, I’m not sure if you want to touch it…” Turns out to be a double-ended dildo with obvious recent use. After returning the dildo, poor driver spent considerable time explaining all of the above to Uber in attempt to head off strange rating from passenger C.