Have you ever made out with your phone? Better yet, have you ever wanted to? Well that opportunity is finally here, courtesy of webcam platform CamSoda, which has created O-Cast, a so-called “iTunes of oral sex for women.”
Because that’s a pretty vague description that doesn’t make much sense in regards to what the app actually does, let me explain. The app, available in iOS and Android, features a gallery of virtual cunnilingus recordings from both professional and amateur sex-havers. This means in addition to porn stars and career cam models showing off their vag-eating techniques, you too can submit a recording to the mix, which will then join O-Cast’s catalog. In the end, this catalog is supposed to help you determine how good or bad you are at oral sex, based on how many people download your video. But here’s where things get a little weird—ahem, weirder: in order to record a technique, you don’t perform oral sex on your partner, but on your phone. Like, with your tongue.
Not only is your phone one of the dirtiest devices you come in contact with every day (each square inch of your smartphone has roughly 25,000 germs), but those behind the app don’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with performing oral sex on a filthy, inanimate device. While O-Cast does give you the option to record a technique with your finger or mouse, people who’ve tested the app have found that licking the phone is most effective, as it most accurately translates your oral sex technique.
Ladies with a Lovesense “Lush” Bluetooth egg vibrator (which costs around $100) can then download the techniques (99 cent each) and the device will recreate these motions in a deeply intimate way.
And if you’re wondering why there isn’t an app like for better fellatio, there actually is. Called BlowCast, this app, released in November, also offers a veritable gallery of virtual blowjobs. However, one can only receive one if they own a rather expensive sex toy known as the Kiiroo Onyx ($249), which, like the Fleshlight, is a sleeve you can slide your dick into, except this one has more interactive capabilities. The BlowCast is another CamSoda creation and appears to be relatively successful, despite some dismal online reviews.
Obviously, the biggest hindrance regarding the O-Cast app is that it requires you to lick your phone, which is something most people should be reluctant to do for very comprehensible reasons. But given that a ton of vibrators specifically designed to cultivate orgasms are giving real men a run for their money, maybe it’s time to engage in some research and put your money where your mouth is, fellas. Meanwhile, we at Playboy are still having a hard time figuring out how this app got approved by Apple in the first place.