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The Week in Sex: Pumpkin-Spiced

The Week in Sex: Pumpkin-Spiced:

Each Friday, we collect the weirdest and wettest sex stories from around the world for your edification and titillation. This week was full of broken condom promises.

  1. Howard Stern appropriately eulogized Joan Rivers at her funeral this past Sunday with wistful declarations like, “Joan Rivers Had a Dry Pussy.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

  2. And while the FBI is investigating 4Chan for The Fappening, Jennifer Garner revealed her true inner tweeness during an interview with Vanity Fair. She claims that she and B'Affleck take their sexy photos the quirky, old fashioned way — Polaroids. Unfortunately, paparazzi have an old-fashioned technique — it’s called stealing.

  3. Durex shattered spirits and deflated boners this week when the condom maker announced that no one was going to get their Pumpkin Spiced-cock sucked. Yet, that is.

  4. However, in porn-imitating-bad-great-art news, there’s a porn parody of Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room”. Get into it.

  5. Fox’s newest reality TV experiment, Utopia, premiered this past week, along with a 24-hour livestream of the cast’s living quarters. Someone got busted giving (and getting) a handy in a sleeping bag.

  6. Canadian researchers at the University of Waterloo have found the best sex positions for avoiding back problems. All of them involve having sex with a Canadian.

  7. Whale hips may give clues to whale boning because science says there’s not much that doesn’t ultimately boil down to fucking. Whale fucking, y'all.

Until next week, Peace and Sex!


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