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The Weirdest Concessions at Every MLB Stadium, Ranked

The 2015 baseball season has begun, which means a dozen or so baseball teams will battle for a coveted spot in the MLB playoffs. The other teams are creating a bunch of crazy food items to distract their fans from the garbage team they put together in the off-season. So instead of previewing the best teams for the upcoming season, we’ve compiled a list of the weirdest concessions fans will be able to find in 2015.


bloomin onion

Outback Steakhouse

30. TAMPA BAY RAYS (TROPICANA FIELD)
Bloomin’ Onion
That’s right! There’s an Outback Steakhouse at Tropicana! This is for the baseball fan who says, “I love baseball, but I also like pretending that I have class.”

nacho average nacho

Nacho Patrol

29. BOSTON RED SOX (FENWAY PARK)
Nacho Average Nachos
Every ballpark has nachos, but none of them offer the customization that Fenway does. Besides the traditional cheese, sour cream and salsa, fans can also get chicken, pulled pork, steak and chili. We’re guessing Ben Affleck and Matt Damon don’t order these when they go to Red Sox games.
conch fritters

SuitsinStrangePlaces

28. FLORIDA MARLINS (MARLINS PARK)
Conch Fritters
It’s really the symbolism that makes this one strange. It seems somewhat cannibalistic to be rooting for the Marlins on the field and eating fish in the stands.
fried-dough

Flickr, Navin75

27. NEW YORK YANKEES (YANKEE STADIUM)
Fried Dough
You’re probably thinking, “Oh, fried dough. That’s so ten years ago.” But honestly, when you’re the richest franchise in sports, you don’t really need silly food gimmicks to make money.
wine

San Diego Padres

26. SAN DIEGO PADRES (PETCO PARK)
Wine
For some reason Petco Park has a store devoted entirely to wine. There’s a selection of reds, whites and sparkling for fans to enjoy. Either buy a glass or a bottle and bring it back to your seat. This is really the only entry on the list that makes the stadium seem classier.
turkey-leg

Flickr, H. Michael Miley

25. ATLANTA BRAVES (TURNER FIELD)
Turkey Legs
There just seems to be something weird about ordering a dish that is commonly associated with Vikings and Game of Thrones characters while at a ballpark.
bratzel dog

Men’s Journal

24. ST. LOUIS CARDINALS (BUSCH STADIUM)
Bratzel Dog
Apparently they’re too concerned with winning baseball games to do anything too weird. However wrapping a bratwurst in a soft pretzel seems like something that should be sold at ballparks everywhere, but isn’t.
cinnamon fries

CBS LA

23. LOS ANGELES ANGELS (ANGELS STADIUM)
Cinnamon & Sugar Sweet Fries
French fries really aren’t a side dish anymore. They’re an entrée. Well now the Angels have turned them into a dessert. The Cinnamon & Sugar Sweet Fries are like sweet potato fries, but way more sugar and way more likely to piss off your dentist.
Progressive Field

Progressive Field

22. CLEVELAND INDIANS (PROGRESSIVE FIELD)
Loaded Burgers
Name something you want on a hamburger. Cole slaw? Sure. Peppers? Hell yeah. Pizza sauce? That’s kind of weird, but yeah you can get it. It’s sort of like a challenge to find the weirdest thing you can put on a burger, although we can’t guarantee it’ll make for a delicious combo.
shake-shack

Shake Shack

21. NEW YORK METS (CITI FIELD)
There’s a Shake Shack in Citi Field. Why are you considering eating anywhere else?
pastrami on naan

NBC Bay Area

20. SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS (AT&T PARK)
Hot Pastrami and Swiss on Naan Bread
Who orders a pastrami on anything other than rye bread? And this isn’t just a different type of bread, it’s Naan! If this were New Jersey, there would probably be protests and angry speeches from Chris Christie. In San Francisco, it seems quite reasonable.
veggie chili cheese dog

Eat in Seattle

19. SEATTLE MARINERS (SAFECO FIELD)
The Natural
The Natural is actually a concession stand that sells vegan and vegetarian option. The weirdest thing they offer? A vegan chili cheese dog, which proves that literally anything can be made vegan.
meat lovers hot dog

Delaware North

18. CINCINNATI REDS (GREAT AMERICAN BALL PARK)
Meat Lover’s Hot Dog
Between the Bacon Sloppy Joe and the Buffalo Mac and Cheese, there’s no shortage of fattening foods to choose from at Great American. But the Meat Lover’s Hot Dog makes a strong case. It takes the American classic and tops it with chili, pepper jack cheese and fried salamime. Or you can customize it and put whatever you want on it. Unfortunately you still can’t order Pete Rose into the Hall-of-Fame.
poutine hot dog

Comerica Park

17. DETROIT TIGERS (COMERICA PARK)
Poutine Hot Dog
Apparently there’s a little Canadian influence at Comerica. Take a hot dog, put on some gravy, cheese curds and French fries and you have the poutine hot dog. Un-American? Yes. But delicious.
pulled pork mac n jack sausage

Kansas City Star

16. KANSAS CITY ROYALS (KAUFFMAN STADIUM)
Pulled Pork Mac n’ Jack Sausage
It’s a pepperjack sausage topped with pulled pork, macaroni and cheese, bacon crumbles and scallions. Yeah, it’ll get pretty messy.
reuben dog

Twitter, MLB Eats

15. CHICAGO CUBS (WRIGLEY FIELD)
The Reuben Dog
Chicago’s a city known for its hot dogs, so of course Wrigley has one of the weirdest ones we’ve ever seen. The Reuben dog takes a Vienna beef hot dog, covers it in corned beef, sauerkraut, Thousand Island dressing and Swiss cheese. Just make sure if you get a regular hot dog, do NOT put ketchup on it or you may start a riot.
elote

Foodbeast

14. LOS ANGELES DODGERS (DODGER STADIUM)
Elote
It’s Los Angeles (real Los Angeles, not the fake Los Angeles the Angels are trying to peddle) so you know they’re probably going to be a little classier than others. The Elote is roasted corn seasoned with cheese, mayo and chili powder. And it’s only $5? You can’t even get a glass of water at most LA restaurants for that much.
drewno

Zagat

13. WASHINGTON NATIONALS (NATIONALS PARK)
The Drewno
Yes, Nationals Park does also have a Shake Shack, so you should probably be getting that already. But if you don’t, definitely get the Drewno. It takes Italian beef, kielbasa and sauerkraut and puts it all in one sandwich. Are we sure the Nationals don’t secretly play in Chicago?
crab mac n cheese

Men’s Journal

12. BALTIMORE ORIOLES (ORIOLE PARK AT CAMDEN YARDS)
Crab Mac n’ Cheese
The Orioles have taken a normal hot dog, cut it in half and filled it with macaroni and cheese, crab meat and sprinkled with Old Bay seasoning. This is either the classiest hot dog ever or the most classless crab dish ever served.
brownies

Wikipedia

11. COLORADO ROCKIES (COORS FIELD)
Whatever you can sneak in
Weed’s legal in Colorado. Perhaps you should try to sneak in some “special” brownies to Rockies games.
chicke and waffles

Twitter, Chuck Garfien

10. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (U.S. CELLULAR FIELD)
Fried Chicken Waffles
The Southside (a.k.a. the Best side) of Chicago is well known for its chicken and waffle joints. So the Cell is just combining two area favorites in one. Fry some chicken, then stick it in between two waffles and cover it in syrup. This is a city built on sausages. They don’t care what they’re putting in their bodies.
oakland dog

SpringTrainingOnline

9. OAKLAND ATHLETICS (OAKLAND COLISEUM)
Oakland Dog
Ok, technically the Oakland Dog was only sold at the A’s Spring Training stadium. But how can this not get called up to the pro level? Mac and cheese, chilies and bacon on top of a delicious hot dog? Billy Beane needs to crunch the analytics on this one.
cake doughnuts

Yelp

8. MILWAUKEE BREWERS (MILLER PARK)
Cake Doughnuts
This year Miller Park announced the addition of Holey Moley—a craft donut restaurant—that will be available in the stadium. So while most Wisconsinites will probably be looking for something with cheese, they should turn their attention on the Bourbon-Indonesian vanilla cake doughnut. It’s just as unhealthy as anything with cheese on it.
bill cosby triple decker

Men’s Journal

7. TORONTO BLUE JAYS (ROGERS CENTRE)
The Bill Cosby Triple Decker
This sandwich features corned beef, pastrami and cheese on three pieces of rye bread. It’ll be really strange if this is still the name of the sandwich at season’s end.
the closer

SB Nation

6. PITTSBURGH PIRATES (PNC PARK)
The Closer
Perhaps the definitive grilled cheese sandwich. Four slices of sourdough bread, nine different cheeses, candied bacon, and a leek-and-Granny Smith apple compote. Sorry any grilled cheese aficionados, it doesn’t get better than that.
wayback burger

Instagram, Phillies

5. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES (CITIZENS BANK PARK)
Wayback Triple Triple Cheeseburger
The Wayback isn’t really that bizarre, it’s just huge. It’s nine hamburger patties, nine pieces of cheese all on one bun. There’s also some lettuce and tomato, but if you order this you clearly haven’t eaten a vegetable in several years.
college daze bloody mary

Twitter, Kent Krbek

4. MINNESOTA TWINS (TARGET FIELD)
College Daze Bloody Mary
Restaurants are constantly trying to make Bloody Mary’s as ridiculous as possible, but the Twins have taken this to a new extreme. They’re using a garnish we’ve never thought possible in their College Daze Bloody Mary: a slice of pepperoni pizza. This sounds like the perfect concession for both Twins fans and Target shoppers.
chicken and waffles cone

Twitter, Darren Rovell

3. HOUSTON ASTROS (MINUTE MAID PARK)
Chicken and Waffle Cone
The Houston Astros are pretty terrible so they need to offer concessions to somewhat distract the fans from the crappy play on the field. So they took a normal waffle cone and filled it with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and honey mustard. Could they not figure out a way to get a biscuit and corn in there as well?
Arizona Diamondbacks

Arizona Diamondbacks

2. ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS (CHASE FIELD)
The Churro Dog
Last year the Diamonds created a $25 corndog. This year they outdid themselves with the Churro Dog. It’s a hot dog made with a cookie bun, a churro “wiener” and ice cream condiments? The retirees will really enjoy themselves this season.
texas rangers 1

Delaware North

texas rangers 2

Delaware North

texas rangers 3

Delaware North

1. TEXAS RANGERS (GLOBE LIFE PARK)
Three-way Tie
There’s really no way to choose between these three products. First, there’s Just Bacon, which is bacon cotton candy. Then they’re also offering the fried S’mOreo, which is “graham cracker breaded marshmallows deep fried and skewered between two deep fried Oreos and drizzled with chocolate sauce and cool whip.” And then there’s also the Chicken-fried Corn on the Cob. If Texas Sen. Ted Cruz becomes president, we don’t think his wife will be trotting out a healthy foods agenda like the current First Lady has.

Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for Playboy.com. He is a White Sox fan and cannot guarantee that didn’t influence his picks. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.

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