By now, you’ve probably seen Mariah Carey’s disastrous New Years Eve performance. If not, refresh your memory above.

The entire thing was a complete mess, and on live television no less. Needless to say, Mariah was not happy. To hear her tell it, there were technical issues all day long, including in dress rehearsal. By the time she hit the stage, the problems had not been fixed. They sent her out as a sacrificial lamb to slaughter.

So who does Mariah blame for this mixup? According to a recent interview with Rolling Stone, she admits that she pretty much blames everyone. “I used to get upset by things,” she says. “This was out of my control, and had everything not been such a total chaotic mess, then I would have been able to make something happen. Even the dancers should have stopped dancing and helped me off the f*cking stage. I’m sorry. It was a mess, and I blame everybody, and I blame myself for not leaving after rehearsal.”

Specfically, she blames Dick Clark Productions for their shoddy technical work. And in the process of of talking around those particulars, she ends up giving us a surprisingly candid moment. “It’s just something where if I can’t explain it to the entire world, then they’re not going to understand it, because it’s not what they do,” she says. “Just like I wouldn’t understand somebody who had a desk job and how to do that. I couldn’t. I literally am incapable of being in the real world and surviving.”

Mimi’s newest single “I Don’t” was well received, especially after a successful debut performance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Here’s hoping that Mariah can put that New Years snafu behind her and continue to shine a light on the real world, even if she’s incapable of living in it.

Here she is on Instagram explaining what happened on New Years:

In my own words..continued. #NYE #L4L

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And here she is on Instagram, being Mariah Carey and sitting in assorted tubs:

#happyvalentinesday 🎈❤️️🍭

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Happy Valentine’s Day!! 😘 #happyvalentinesday #happy #moments #bubbles 💖🥂🍾🥂🍾💖

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Going to perform my new song #IDont on @jimmykimmellive this Wednesday! See you soon @jimmykimmel! 😘

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Aspen moments. ❄️❤️

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