Wined Down: Rosé Will Get You Laid

By Joe Roberts

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Wined Down: Rosé Will Get You Laid:

If you’re looking to maximize the chances of a “check, please!” moment during your next dinner with that special someone, then you may need to ditch the Big Red wine. That’s right, friend—buck up and order some rosé with that high-priced date night meal.

Now, I’ve been up and down the entire world of wine, and the best way I know to summarize this bit of vinous truth is with a quote from a bona fide rock-star-turned-winemaker I once interviewed: he referred to rosé as “The Leg Spreader.”

Rosé gets a bad rap, despite its gorgeously suggestive color, due in most part to the near oceanic levels of overly-sweet, barely-drinkable pink-plonk currently on the market. As one award-winning wine educator friend of mine likes to say, “rosé is guilty by pigmentation!” The result is that the less adroit wine guzzler is afraid that sipping a rosé suggests more “cheap-ass wine newbie” than “sophisticated, sexy lover of all things epicurean.”

Now, if for some strange reason that undeserved pink-plonk perception has persuaded you to question the sexual conquest advice from a bona fide rock star (hey, what do they know about getting girls, right?), the host of recent scientific studies cited below ought to help convince the logical hemisphere of your brain to resist ordering her a glass of that ginormous Cabernet and go with the pink drink :Last year, The Times Live in New Zealand reported on a global poll of over ten thousand women across five countries (including the U.S. of A.) in which almost 70 per cent of the ladies called wine “essential” to creating a romantic setting during a date. Over fifteen percent of the women said that rosé is the only wine that they drink. The article also reported that since 2009, rosé consumption has risen 160 percent—so those girls are definitely putting their money where their cute, pouty mouths are. Red wine? Down 15 per cent (doh!). While you shouldn’t have much trouble finding a dry rosé*to compliment a meal, don’t write-off the sweeter pink stuff entirely. According to a 2011 study carried out jointly by a Cornell professor and Master of Wine Tim Hanni and reported by SFGate.com, *people with tastes that swing towards sweet and/or delicate wines may have more sensitive palates, and can also be more sensitive to touch - so much so that they don’t bother wearing panties at all. Okay, it’s not a direct link to rosé, but hypersensitive types will likely eschew the Cabernet (and the “no panties” part certainly gives you a head start on the evening). More recently, ZeeNews.com in India noted a study from Florence, Italy (where they certainly have their priorities straight), which found that moderate wine consumption enhances just about every aspect of both a man’s and woman’s sexual experience, including duration (if there were a Nobel award for underscoring the obvious from centuries of “field research,” this study has got to be the clear front runner). And we’ve known for several years (thanks to research co-sponsored by the Australian Wine Council and Match.com) that having knowledge of wine actually makes you appear measurably more attractive to members of the opposite sex. My guess is that being able to bust out a killer rosé is going to make you look like you’ve got wine smarties to spare.

Besides the good old fashioned bonus points you can accumulate by deferring to what she wants to drink for at least one night, the above data puts a lot more potential pay-off value behind knowing a go-to pink wine than it does for going with the tired old “if I ain’t having big Cabernet then ain’t nobody drinking any vino tonight” approach.

My advice: get over your fear of pink and get familiar with a rosé like Paul Jaboulet’s “Parallele 45? Rose (Cotes du Rhone, France, about $14); it’s widely available, has a name that’s easy to remember, and sports a killer combo of sexy, crushed red berry fruit and enticing floral notes. It’s got enough tanginess to match with just about any food either of you will order up, and has probably helped savvier wine drinkers access more trim than the entire lawn and garden section of The Home Depot.

So there you have it—rock stars, scientists, a Master of Wine, and hundreds of years of amorous Italians agree on the sexual kung-fu mastery of a decent rosé with dinner. Just makes sure to use that newfound vinous power for the forces of good…

About the Author:

Joe Roberts is a certified wine geek, and has been called "an original" by media maven Gary Vaynerchuk, "provocative" by the Seattle Times, and "a Robin Hood in the exclusive world of vineyards and corkings" by The Urban Grocer. His wine knowledge has been tapped by the L.A. Times, New York Times, CNBC.com, Mutineer Magazine, Publix, Palate Press, Mint.com, and Wines.com. You can find Joe regularly roasting wine's sacred cow (and pairing them with robust, obscure red) at the award-winning 1WineDude.com.


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