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12 Women Reveal What It’s Really Like in a Threesome

12 Women Reveal What It’s Really Like in a Threesome: Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

While a three-way may be the dream of many men, there can be unexpected consequences if it takes place with people you know or see on a regular basis. A thread on Reddit women who had been in a three-way to share their awkward experiences. Here are some of the best answers.

1. The Third Wheel

I’ve done it and it was fun and we all enjoyed ourselves, but it was very obvious how much I was the third. It’s not like they didn’t pay attention to my needs or me but they were each other’s first priorities and I was a second priority. I’m still good friends with them. We still talk every week and enjoy each other’s company. But I don’t think I’d ever jump into bed with both of them at the same time again

2. Ruined Friendship

I have been the third. It was with a really good friend of mine and her fiancé (which I didn’t know as well).

We had hung out and made jokes about messing around together a few times but one night we all were really drunk and it carried home and led to a really fun time… for a little bit. But unfortunately for me, it did not end well and ruined our friendship. At some point she decided he was giving me too much/more attention than her and just flipped out. I left and we spoke the next day, she then accused me and her fiancé of having hidden feelings for one another.

3. Communication Is Key

I find that the majority of problems in a group sexual experience come from a lack of communication. Either one partner talks to the third person more often and the other partner feels weird about it, or the partners don’t communicate the rules of their relationship – either to each other or to the third person. Having clear and communicated boundaries helps everyone in the situation. Make sure they are both engaging in conversation equally on the rules and don’t just assume one has relayed information to the other – make sure.

4. Too Many Restrictions Is A Red Flag

If there is not much in the way of boundaries then it’s pretty straightforward and very fun. You’re all there to enjoy your own and each other’s bodies. If there are a lot of restrictions then you may end up feeling like a bit of a play toy for them where it’s more about them and their experience than yours.

5. The Valentine’s Day Gift That Went Wrong

I was a friend’s Valentine’s Day gift to her boyfriend. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could take that back. It ruined the friendship, it caused problems in my future relationships, and worst of all it wasn’t any fun.

They had talked about it for a long time, assured each other they were okay with it. But once things started, the girl started having panic attacks, she was yelling at the guy about things she didn’t approve of, and I was manipulated into doing things that were apparently on the strict “no-go list”.

6. Her Friend Got Nervous And Left

Well as someone who has invited a friend to be in a threesome, I can say it definitely impacted our friendship.

It didn’t go well. She’s very conservative and it was a bad idea from the get go to ask her, specifically. But she basically chickened out early on and left.

7. Joining A Couple Can Be Tricky

I’ve been the third a few times and I’ve added a third a few times. If the couple is extremely comfortable in their relationship and really solid with each other, then it can be really fun. If they’re adding a third to spice up their relationship, it can be tricky. I had a threesome with my best friends (who are married to each other) and it really threw off our relationship.

8. Don’t Do It While You’re Dating

I’ve vowed to not have a threesome whilst in a relationship because I know that I couldn’t handle seeing my partner with someone else, but I’ve had several threesomes with friends that are really relaxed. I think there’s just no pressure if you’re all the “third.”

9. Being One Of The Two Girls Sucks

I was the third in a three-way make out session with a guy I was dating at the time and a girl who was both my best friend and ex-and-sometimes-still-lover. This guy was dating me, but shortly after we dated he dated her.

It was a weird complex situation where all three people were clearly attracted to one another, and I have to say that two girls and one guy is going to end up being no fun for somebody at some point. It was either both of us doing everything for him, or one of us getting all his attention while the other one kind of just sat there.

Threesomes suck if you’re one of the two same-gendered people, even if everybody goes both ways. If you’re the middle of the sandwich, and not the bread, it’s probably awesome. I’d definitely let two guys get with me, but I’ll never do two-girls-one-guy again. It was lame

10. Keep It Spontaneous

Most of the group sex I’ve participated in has been spontaneous. Though there was always attraction and sexual tension already present. Once, one of my good friends (girl) and I were sitting at the bar one night and talking about our past sexcapades when we decided we wanted to have sex with one of our dude friends. So we called him to see if he was home, then showed up at his house 10 minutes later and proceeded to go to town.

11. You Have To Make It Fun For Everyone

As someone in the couple half of the threesome, none of my friendships have been negatively affected after — and this has been done with several different friends so far. I think it depends on the couple and their security in the relationship, and also how it goes down during the threesome.

I think everything went great for us because my SO and I are very secure in our relationship and our sexuality, and tried to make it fun and do what our other partners (male and female) found to be arousing rather than solely focusing on our own enjoyment.

12. Leaving Out The Guy Usually Helps

I’ve had FFF with a serious couple and with friends, both spontaneous, and it’s actually so much easier than I’d imagine MMF/MFF either way. Something about everyone all having the same parts really seems to balance out the areas where one might imagine a lot of jealousy forming otherwise.


Rob is a writer and comedian based in Louisville, KY. Follow @robfee on Twitter.

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